Ever feel like you’re the only one trying to improve your marriage?
It seems as though you’re constantly reflecting, adjusting, and trying to make things better—while your spouse seems unaware or unwilling to see their part? Maybe they shut down, get defensive, or act like you’re the one making a big deal out of nothing.
It’s frustrating. Exhausting. And it can make you feel completely alone in the relationship.
But why does this happen?
Why is it so hard for some people—especially men—to admit their own brokenness?
This week on the podcast, I’m diving into this question. Because when one spouse refuses to acknowledge their contribution to marital struggles, it creates a wall that keeps the relationship stuck. The other partner is left feeling unheard, unseen, and reluctant to change because why should they be the only one doing the work?
The truth is, many people—men in particular—have been conditioned to see admitting fault as a weakness rather than a strength. They’ve been taught that being a “good” spouse means providing and protecting, not necessarily self-reflecting and taking emotional responsibility.
And when they do start to see their part, it can feel overwhelming—like they’re failing or disappointing the person they love. So instead of leaning in, they push back.
In this episode, I’m unpacking:
- Why taking ownership of our flaws feels so difficult.
- How this resistance impacts the marriage dynamic.
- What creates safety for BOTH spouses to be honest about their struggles.
- And how even one person can start to shift the cycle in a healthier direction.
But that’s not all—I’m also bringing Jeff into this conversation.
Next week, I’ll be sharing a raw and honest interview with him about this very dynamic. We’ll talk about what was going on inside of him when he struggled to admit his own brokenness, what finally shifted for him, and what he would say to other spouses who feel stuck in this cycle.
This follow-up episode is going to be a powerful one—especially if you’ve ever wished your spouse could just see their part in the struggles.
So first, listen to this week’s episode to lay the foundation, and then get ready for next week’s conversation with Jeff.
Have you ever felt like your spouse just doesn’t see their part in the struggles?
I am a marriage coach helping women and couples turn their loveless & disconnected marriage into something better than they ever imagined possible. My process starts by helping you figure out what it is you want in your marriage because face it, it’s been a while since you’ve dreamed of what your future could look like. Once you’ve started to open up to what is possible together we create a path towards the marriage you crave.
If you feel sad and powerless about your marriage’s state of affairs, I’d love to chat with you about how you’re feeling and what moving towards something different could look like. Book your Courageous Love Conversation Inquiry Call today, and let’s talk about how to get started.
