Last night I was excluded from a family girls event.
What?!? Can you even believe that?
“They left me out.”
“I must not matter.”
“I’m not important.”
“They don’t like me.”
“Whatever, how rude!”
Yep, it really happened and that’s how I would have reacted in the past. I would have blamed, pouted, felt sorry for myself, beat myself up, been sarcastic, (try to) make everyone feel bad. Of course, if you’ve been following me, we know that we can’t make other people feel bad.
You see, two years ago us Bongiovanni women decided to finally follow through with our Christmas banter about getting together outside of the holidays.
Thanks to my Aunt Mari, we’ve followed through.
Except this year they left me out.
I was actually at a meeting during this get together and after the meeting I had a message from my daughter and a voicemail from my Aunt.
I responded to the text of “Where are you?” with a tapback “?” and then read the transcript from the voicemail and immediately felt a bit sad.
Turns out that the email invitation went to an email that I haven’t used for over 10 years and for a moment I did have a thought that made me feel indignant and cause me to blame and complain. I noticed it, allowed it and then started to look at how this was no big deal.
They went without me and it was awesome.
It was awesome because I got to watch how my new brain handles these new situations, first hand.
I had new thoughts like:
“What a bummer!”
“This is not a big deal.”
“Everything is ok.”
“Nothing has gone wrong here.”
“I am fully worthy, enough, complete.”
You know the best part?
I get the result of loving myself, as well as everyone else, instead of not mattering to myself, or anyone else.
I love my new brain!
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