One Simple Way To See If You Trust Yourself

One Simple Way To See If You Trust Yourself | Relationship Coach

All of us have struggled with times in our lives when we didn’t believe in ourselves, times when we didn’t fully trust we could reach a goal we set for ourselves; I’m willing to say that it plagues most of us every single day. I know there are days when I have a positive mindset and everything I have said I would do gets accomplished, but then there are other days where my mind is convinced I’ll never “make it.” Learning how to trust yourself is a practice well worth doing because every time you take a step forward and prove self-trust to yourself, your brain will more often trust you. Today I’m going to share one simple way to see if you trust yourself; this example was the first time I sat down with myself and told myself the truth about whether I trust myself or not. 

I used to believe that I trusted myself, but honestly, I hadn’t really thought about it; I just denied that I didn’t trust myself. I thought I trusted myself because I didn’t feel like I could trust anyone else, so of course, I thought I trusted myself. What I have found to be the truth, though, is that as I have learned how to trust myself, I have let go of my lack of trust in other people. I have found confidence in myself to take care of myself, to recognize when others might be attempting to take advantage of me but not always assuming upfront that they are. I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to trust them.

Today I want you to ask yourself if you trust yourself.

Answer that question and then ask yourself a few others. Why do you think you trust yourself? What does it mean to trust yourself? Do you trust other people, or are you suspicious of them? Do you check your partner’s phone messages, do you listen to their phone conversations, do you look with distrust to your co-workers who are chatting together without you?

I’m not telling you that you should be unaware of what is happening around you, but when you trust yourself, you can let other people be who they are. You can join co-workers in their conversations without wondering what they think of you. You can love your spouse without having to check on them behind their back; as a matter of fact, if you have a question for them, you would ask from a place of curiosity or conversation rather than distrust.

Here is one simple way to see if you trust yourself:

Ask yourself how many times per week you do what you told yourself you would do. How many times do you tell yourself you’re going to do something, and then you don’t follow through?

Every time you do this, you solidify your brain’s belief that you are not going to do what you say you will do. Every time you tell yourself you’re going to do something and you don’t do it, you reinforce that distrust superhighway in your brain. If this is you, you know it, and it’s not something to be ashamed of; it’s something we do. When we become aware of a behavior that isn’t serving our best life, it is an opportunity to change it, to grow, and this is what life coaching is all about. This is why I love life coaching because there is always something to uncover within ourselves, something that is holding us back from being our next best selves. When we uncover this behavior, we can get to doing the work of solving and changing.

Ask yourself about today. How many times today did you follow through and do what you told yourself you were going to do? How many things did you tell yourself that you would do today that you didn’t do?

“I’m going to eat ‘healthy’ today.”

“I’m going to have a 10 minute conversation with my husband tonight.”

“I’ll call so and so after work.”

“I’m going to plan a get-away for our anniversary.”

How many times have you carried over that one task you have been telling yourself to do for ummm, a month, maybe even longer? If I look back at my life a couple of years back, I remember having lists of things that I wanted to get done. I would carry many of those to-dos over and over and over every week, but now I no longer do that. Sure, there are times when I carry a task over for a few weeks, but if I continue to do so for more than a few weeks, I ask myself why I’m not completing this task. If it’s important, I have a little discussion with myself, look at why I might be avoiding and solve the problem and get the task done. Sometimes I simply decide that this isn’t important enough; I’m not making it a priority, so I let it go trusting myself, knowing that if it’s important enough, it will come up again, and I can re-visit it at that time.

Think about that friend of yours who is consistently late to commitments you plan; maybe she doesn’t show up or bows out at the last moment; do you trust her to show up on time anymore? Do you expect her to have an excuse as to why she can’t make it this time and find yourself surprised when she does commit?

There are a few important tips that I will be sharing with you next week to help you start the process of building trust within yourself, but for now, I want you to start paying attention to the times throughout the day and the week that you don’t follow through on what you tell yourself you will do. I suggest you take five minutes at the end of the day and write the things down and then take another five minutes to answer the question: “Why didn’t I do this thing I keep telling myself to do?” Creating awareness this week to the ways you are re-inforcing the belief that you don’t trust yourself, and then next week, I’ll share ways to start taking steps towards building self-trust.

Look at yourself honestly and then decide if you like not trusting yourself.

I didn’t like it so I decided to change it, tune in next week to learn how to change it!


I am a life coach who works with individuals to break down relationship barriers by awakening their true self. My process isn’t about changing your partner, it’s about discovering who you are so that you can AwakenYou in your marriage. If you’re ready to take your life and your love relationship to the next level then schedule your program inquiry call today and let’s decide together if this is your next step to creating the life you’ve been dreaming of.

How To Start Loving Yourself

How To Start Loving Yourself | Relationship Coach

Here it is my friend, my best tip as to how to start loving yourself is to decide.

I see you shaking your head and rolling your eyes, all mad at me for the worst piece of advice ever, but before you click off the page, please read on because this short article might just change your life.

Yes, my one best tip as to how to start loving yourself is to decide that you are done with the self-sabotage.

It really is just a decision, I’m not saying it’s something you decide today and life goes on to a happily ever after, but what I am saying is you get to decide whether you want to love yourself or not.

 

This in itself, was truly magical for me once I allowed it to really sink in. You see, I had never been taught that this was even available for me, or if it had I most certainly was absent on that day of class.

 

The reason you feel like you can’t move forward with that decision is because of your brain. Your brain likes to keep things simple. You have run a series of thoughts for so long in your life that they have become deeply engrained neurological pathways. Sort of like walking. There was a time when you didn’t know how to walk, it was difficult, you fell down a lot, now you no longer have to be deliberate about taking steps, it’s committed to our primitive brain.

 

Same with those thoughts like:

 

“I’m fat.”

“I’m stupid.”

“I’m not good enough to do such and such.”

Insert your own negative mantra.

 

They may seem harmless, I hear you say it like you’re reporting the weather. These are thoughts you’ve had for so many years they’ve become instinctual. The work to change those neurological paths will need to be deliberate, consistent and a practice that starts with deciding today to chose a new mantra.

 

The beginning is going to be rough, your brain is going to argue with you. It’s going to tell you that you’re a liar, that you don’t know what you’re talking about, that you’re talking nonsense, I mean really, “Did you look in the mirror today?”

 

What I teach my clients is how to unlearn everything they have taught themselves about themselves.

 

I teach them how to start trusting themselves.

 

I teach them how to start saying positive things to themselves and change these new thoughts to absolute truths.

 

I teach them how to find love from within and how to stop looking outside of yourself for love, how to stop trying to manipulate others so that they can feel loved.

I teach them how to have their own back.

Love starts with you my friend and it’s a choice you get to make.

 

Will you choose love or will you continue the self-sabotage?

 

If you are running a continual thought loop of how you’re not good enough then I would love to start the conversation with you about how my AwakenYou one-on-one coaching program can turn your life around. I see how wildly successful you are, now imagine actually enjoying this life of success that you’ve created, actually believing in your own success. Your life is waiting for you, there’s no better time than now to start making that change you’ve been dreaming about for your life. Today could be the day you look back at one year from now and smile because today was the day you decided to be all in on you and your future, I can’t wait to watch your life take off!


I am a life coach who works with individuals to break down relationship barriers by awakening their true self. My process isn’t about changing your partner, it’s about discovering who you are so that you can AwakenYou in your marriage. If you’re ready to take your life and your love relationship to the next level then schedule your program inquiry call today and let’s decide together if this is your next step to creating the life you’ve been dreaming of.

If You Know How To Work Your Smart Phone You Can Succeed At Your 2019 Goals.

As I look out over the future, the last quarter of 2019, I can honestly say that I am excited!

A couple weeks ago I took inventory over my past year. I had a list that made me smile.

Then I started thinking about how my previous years have strolled by. Just like all of us, I’ve had better years along with the good years.

Did you notice the difference in that last sentence? Did it sound odd? I didn’t say anything about those BAD years. There is a good reason for that, I no longer look at any of my life experiences as bad.

They happened.

I couldn’t change them, trust me I really tried hard to though.

So I re-wrote them.

I re-created all of my negative past life stories into beautiful stories of powerful strength. All stories that now serve me to keep looking forward instead of back into the past. They no longer have power over me because I took the power and called it my own. Power that is propelling me into the highest potential of my future self.

Then I started thinking of all of you.

What do you think when you look back at the first three quarters of 2019?

What do you have planned for the last quarter so that you can bring a beautiful completion to it all? Tying it all up in a bow so you can open it and boldly move into the new year.

I know what your brain is telling you.

It thinks the best idea is to just put it off until 2020.

Why wouldn’t it?

You know, there’s all of those holidays coming up anyway, there isn’t enough time. It’s going to be SO busy. There definitely won’t be time to start those dreams that you’ve already put off most of the year.

This is where you want to pause and become aware.

Become aware of the fact that your brain is only doing what you have taught it so well to do.

I mean tell me the truth, how many times have you tried to:

  • lose that weight
  • save that money
  • plan that vacation
  • stop that drinking
  • stop losing time in front of your phone, computer or television screen

Remember, you can argue with your brain, go back and read this post for a refresher course.

Give yourself an early Christmas gift of creating positive change in your life.

It will be the gift that you give yourself that will keep giving in a life of pure satisfaction and joy.

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My Awaken(YourTrue)You program teaches incredibly powerful women like yourself how to identify and live out your truth. How to believe in your success and boldly share it with the world. How to leave a legacy.

I offer a free call to anyone brave enough to take the steps of creating the life they were meant to live. It’s a call for you to decide if this work is for you or not. I believe it is.

Share this message with a friend who needs to hear it, for every woman willing to do the work of becoming her best self there will be thousands of others impacted by her journey.

This is my life, join me in my mission to save the world, one powerful woman at a time.

Living Every Moment Like You Know The Final Winning Score

The other day I was thinking about our life in comparison to watching a football game that was pre-recorded. Maybe a game like the Vikings playoff game against the Saints in January of 2018 where Stefon Diggs makes the miracle touchdown catch. One we didn’t get to watch live but knew the results because EVERYONE was talking about it.

As you watch the game that you pre-recorded you might be screaming and yelling when those Vikings were behind. You might even quit watching because it seems, yet again, that the Vikings are going to lose another playoff game.

Then you remember what the final score is in the game and you’re all excited again, patiently waiting for that famous play.

This was making me think about our life and knowing the final result. For us believers, the end of our story is already written. We have won.

Yet in the middle of our problem we often forget this fact. Sometimes we want to just give up.

When we stop and remember that we know the final score we can choose love.

We can choose love in the middle of any of our problems because it’s not a story with a happy ending – it’s a story with no ending.

We know the never ending life we live is a story of never ending love.

We know we can choose love, even in the middle of the storm, because in the end, when we step into eternity the game is already won.

Love always wins.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

A Different Kind Of Argument That You SHOULD Participate In!

Today is Monday and this seems to be the day that my brain likes to argue with me. It never used to argue with me, it would just tell me what to do and I would just listen to it.

Can I just tell you that this has gotten me into a whole lot of trouble in this life so I would highly suggest you read on if you want to avoid that as much as possible. Let me just add that each of my mistakes has made my life more rich and makes this journey that much more colorful but my purpose is to guide you along the easier path and to show you what is truly possible in this life!

Most of us are very familiar with what an argument is all about. Usually it’s between two, or more, people, each having a different opinion and each wanting to prove that their opinion is better than the other.

The need to be right in relationship arguments costs us our peace.

Today though, I want to turn this relationship around into a relationship that DOES warrant a good, strong argument.

It’s the relationship between you and your brain.

I want to ask you, did you know that you could argue with your brain? You can and you should.

Actually, the best thing you can do is question and argue what your brain is telling you.

Most of us just listen to our brain and accept everything it tells us to be truth. What you might not know though is that the brain would prefer you not fight for what you want.

Your brain would prefer you:

not work hard to succeed at your goals,

take the day off,

put that task off for sometime later,

go look at social media instead,

eat the food you told yourself you wouldn’t eat,

not work on that relationship that you have been mending,

spend the money,

drink the drink,

I want to challenge you to start paying attention to what your brain has to offer you, it’s quite interesting how we let it rule over us.

To give the brain credit, it is only doing what it is designed to do, as well as what we have taught it to do. You see, our brains are created to be motivationally driven to seek pleasure, avoid pain and to seek ease, it’s called the motivational triad, which I won’t be getting into today but it is the source of many of our modern problems.

Basically your brain is going to tell you to take the day off or so that task later when it just seems too hard (seek pleasure).

It’s going to tell you to spend the money, eat the food, drink the drink to avoid the pain of whatever negative emotion you may be experiencing (avoid pain).

Then, when things start to get hard, when you’ve done the easy steps towards your goal and now you’re starting to feel uncomfortable, your brain will tell you to take a short cut (create ease).

Once you actually start seeing what the brain is offering you, the next thing I want to do is challenge you to argue with it.

This is going to feel uncomfortable for awhile but once you start doing it you’re going to win and winning will start training it to not think in it’s old way.

Yet sometimes it’s pretty sneaky, like my brain today, and you forget about the fact that you can challenge what it is offering to you.

With practice you will get much quicker at the draw and you will be able to not only argue with your brain but you will also be able to win, always.

Winning these arguments are what will move you forward into the next version of yourself. The version that completes their goals, doesn’t put that task off and doesn’t eat the food or drink the drink.

I love these arguments but even more, I love winning them!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

When You’re Excluded

Last night I was excluded from a family girls event.

What?!? Can you even believe that?

“They left me out.”

“I must not matter.”

“I’m not important.”

“They don’t like me.”

“Whatever, how rude!”

Yep, it really happened and that’s how I would have reacted in the past. I would have blamed, pouted, felt sorry for myself, beat myself up, been sarcastic, (try to) make everyone feel bad. Of course, if you’ve been following me, we know that we can’t make other people feel bad.

You see, two years ago us Bongiovanni women decided to finally follow through with our Christmas banter about getting together outside of the holidays.

Thanks to my Aunt Mari, we’ve followed through.

Except this year they left me out.

I was actually at a meeting during this get together and after the meeting I had a message from my daughter and a voicemail from my Aunt.

I responded to the text of “Where are you?” with a tapback “?” and then read the transcript from the voicemail and immediately felt a bit sad.

Turns out that the email invitation went to an email that I haven’t used for over 10 years and for a moment I did have a thought that made me feel indignant and cause me to blame and complain. I noticed it, allowed it and then started to look at how this was no big deal.

They went without me and it was awesome.

It was awesome because I got to watch how my new brain handles these new situations, first hand.

I had new thoughts like:

“What a bummer!”

“This is not a big deal.”

“Everything is ok.”

“Nothing has gone wrong here.”

“I am fully worthy, enough, complete.”

You know the best part?

I get the result of loving myself, as well as everyone else, instead of not mattering to myself, or anyone else.

I love my new brain!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.