Embracing What Is

Right now many of us would agree that we are living in uncertain times and are not ready to embrace what is.

Somewhere in our future the COVID-19 will be in our past. The medical practitioners will have found a vaccine, schools will have learned how to use technology to up level their ability to teach, parents will become more adept at accomplishing more while working at home, businesses will learn how to run on a slimmer in-person system, allowing more people to work from home and less fuel emissions.

Some of us will look back knowing we created some amazing memories along with learning some valuable lessons. Some of us will look back at how awful these times were. I have made it my duty to make sure there are as many of you experiencing the former vs the later.

When we ask ourselves how this can be for us we come up with so many beautiful opportunities of growth yet our brains choose to focus on how this is going to to be the end of us. That truly is what our brain is supposed to do, warn of us danger and protect us so knowing how to manage our mind becomes even more important during these times.

When it comes to embracing what is I want to give you four suggestions starting with learning how to make strong decisions.

The truth is that right now, we don’t know what the truth is and we humans are looking outside of ourselves for answers how to act. We’re struggling with how to make decisions because there are so many different opinions flying all over the place. Our brain wants to collect all of the data so it can make the right decision, that’s where the problem begins. There is never a “right’ decision, someone will always have a opinion different from ours, that’s why I encourage you to decide and move on to the next thing on your list of things to decide on. It’s possible to literally buffer all day long looking at everyone’s opinion, I suggest you don’t do it! Decide on a few reliable sources that you will gather your information from and start formulating your own plan for how you want to navigate, for how you want to show up. Then be all in on your decision, don’t let yourself be “pressured” and people pleased into what measures, or lack of measures, others are taking. Continue to collect information as it becomes available and then adjust your decision accordingly, making no apologies for being all in on you.

My second suggestion for embracing what is, and honestly my top suggestion, is to keep up with your planning routine.

I teach my clients how to plan their week every Monday and then do a following day review in the evening to check and make sure everything is still good or make any adjustments if changes have occurred. Planning allows you to use your pre-frontal cortex to decide ahead of time what you want your day to look like, this might include a few hours of flex time if you have littles at home, like many do during this time. With a plan in place you can decide in the beginning of the day what you want your result to be for the day, what you need to believe to achieve that result and how you’re going to need to feel in order to make that result come true. Without a plan it will be easy to spend most of your day in overwhelm while buffering on news, eating, escaping and end your day thinking you’ve achieved nothing.

Thirdly let’s talk about gratitude.

Focusing on what we are grateful for during this time and what great things are going to come out of it seems difficult. The only reason it seems difficult though is that it’s not what our brains are naturally wired to look for. We’re wired to look for what’s wrong, what the problems are with this scenario and that’s completely perfect except in this day and age it doesn’t serve us. Looking at what is positive about our situation allows our brain to problem solve, expand and learn. How will you problem solve, grow and learn new things during this time?

Lastly, ask yourself what you would love to do during this time.

This is an opportune time to learn how to manage our minds and build relationships at home as well as outside of the home. When it comes to learning the tools of managing your mind I have a whole lot of resources to get you started, including all of my posts here, my YouTube channel as well as all of my social media content on Facebook and Instagram.

Building relationships is what I help my clients navigate. I help them do the fulfilling work of learning how to bring love back into their life. Right now couples who are struggling in their relationship are most concerned about what is going to happen now that they’ll be spending so much time together. That this might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back so to speak, yet this can actually be a time of growth and new found love if we go into the situation with open minds. Minds open to taking this gift of time together to work through what isn’t working, together talking about topics you don’t make time to talk about. If you would like any help with this please reach out, I have a whole program full of worksheets you can have fun working through together enabling quality, open and vulnerable conversations, who knows what bliss they might lead to!

How do you build relationships outside of the home? I have already found that using my virtual coaching platform as a tool to hold all of my other meetings to come in quite remarkably handy. People who have felt uncomfortable walking into a live community event have been able to open the door to possibility by anonymously attending virtually. We get to meet, they get to know myself and the other people in the virtual room which introduces them to amazing people they wouldn’t have met if it weren’t for this forced social distancing. Organize your own virtual get together today and see what joy you bring not only to your heart, but to the hearts of others!

I just want to encourage all of you to be curious about what is happening right now, observe when your brain judges other people’s decisions or your own decisions. I want to encourage you to stay away from thinking you’re doing it wrong and ask yourself how you can use this as an opportunity to deepen our love for ourselves and others.

Pause and ask yourself how are we always living in “uncertain” times and how is this time no different from any other? Remind yourself that we have overcome great things in our lives and one day we will look back at how we overcame COVID-19. Remind yourself that thinking this is going to be the death of us will create us dying to ourselves, dying to what we could create, dying to our next best version. Truly, where you place your attention is where your energy will go. Do you want to give this virus your energy or do you want to think that this could be fun? No, I’m not saying dying is fun, I’m saying that putting our energy there will kill our collective light.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for women who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. I show you how to stop settling and bring back the love, connection and excitement you crave. Let’s re-ignite your marriage relationship today!

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

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If You Know How To Work Your Smart Phone You Can Succeed At Your 2019 Goals.

As I look out over the future, the last quarter of 2019, I can honestly say that I am excited!

A couple weeks ago I took inventory over my past year. I had a list that made me smile.

Then I started thinking about how my previous years have strolled by. Just like all of us, I’ve had better years along with the good years.

Did you notice the difference in that last sentence? Did it sound odd? I didn’t say anything about those BAD years. There is a good reason for that, I no longer look at any of my life experiences as bad.

They happened.

I couldn’t change them, trust me I really tried hard to though.

So I re-wrote them.

I re-created all of my negative past life stories into beautiful stories of powerful strength. All stories that now serve me to keep looking forward instead of back into the past. They no longer have power over me because I took the power and called it my own. Power that is propelling me into the highest potential of my future self.

Then I started thinking of all of you.

What do you think when you look back at the first three quarters of 2019?

What do you have planned for the last quarter so that you can bring a beautiful completion to it all? Tying it all up in a bow so you can open it and boldly move into the new year.

I know what your brain is telling you.

It thinks the best idea is to just put it off until 2020.

Why wouldn’t it?

You know, there’s all of those holidays coming up anyway, there isn’t enough time. It’s going to be SO busy. There definitely won’t be time to start those dreams that you’ve already put off most of the year.

This is where you want to pause and become aware.

Become aware of the fact that your brain is only doing what you have taught it so well to do.

I mean tell me the truth, how many times have you tried to:

  • lose that weight
  • save that money
  • plan that vacation
  • stop that drinking
  • stop losing time in front of your phone, computer or television screen

Remember, you can argue with your brain, go back and read this post for a refresher course.

Give yourself an early Christmas gift of creating positive change in your life.

It will be the gift that you give yourself that will keep giving in a life of pure satisfaction and joy.

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My Awaken(YourTrue)You program teaches incredibly powerful women like yourself how to identify and live out your truth. How to believe in your success and boldly share it with the world. How to leave a legacy.

I offer a free call to anyone brave enough to take the steps of creating the life they were meant to live. It’s a call for you to decide if this work is for you or not. I believe it is.

Share this message with a friend who needs to hear it, for every woman willing to do the work of becoming her best self there will be thousands of others impacted by her journey.

This is my life, join me in my mission to save the world, one powerful woman at a time.

Declutter Your Mind

I’m in a season right now of removing things from my life that don’t bring me joy anymore.

Literally that means that I’m cleaning out my closets.

Taking everything out.

Cleaning out the corners.

Re-evaluating each item before I put it back in.

Passing on that which no longer serves me.

While I have been going through this process from a completely different mindset than the person I was last time I went through this process, I am learning all sorts of interesting things.

Let me start with the logistics of the actual cleaning:

When we know how to self coach and manage our minds there is simply no drama.

The task gets scheduled and gets done.

Period.

When we have drama around this task it feels heavy, burdensome and very time consuming. We spend so much energy thinking about the task that by the time we get around to doing it we’re mentally drained. From this place the task can either drag on forever or just plain never gets finished, maybe not even started.

Our second biggest closet in the house literally took 2.5 hours: 15 minutes to pull it all out, 15 minutes to clean the empty closet, 30 minutes to decide what was going to be passed on (including time to contact potential takers), 45 minutes to re-pack and organize.

All of you math wizzes have already busted me because that breakdown comes to a total of 1.75 hours, not 2.5.

Ahhhh, yes, the eternal question, where did the other 45 minutes go?

Distraction.

Previously this task would have been drawn out most of the day, meaning I wouldn’t even start it until the day was mostly over, maybe into the next and I would be a crazy woman during the whole event.

Now? Just a task, got it done, look and smile, close the door and move on to the next. Oh, and go back a few times to open the door, enjoy and then close the door.

Now I’d like to look at how this process beautifully parallels something even more magical because it’s about this same thing but only with our minds. This is the daily self coaching work my clients, and I, do.

Before:

Never cleaning out your mind.

Allowing clutter.

Allowing toxic lies to enter and stay trapped inside.

Sludge, dirt, cobwebs swirling around as you decipher your way through each day.

During:

Learning a whole new process of looking at what’s in our brain.

Learning what it takes to throw out thoughts that you habitually keep inviting back in.

Learning the process of cleaning up (insert years since young adulthood) of stored thoughts.

After:

Knowing the process of cleaning the brain daily.

Throwing out accumulated trash on the regular.

Never allowing unwanted thoughts to accumulate long enough where they would start to stink, rot and re-infect.

This process is completely available to everyone, you just have to believe in yourself enough to take steps to implement them so you can start living your best life today.

Do yourself a kindness, don’t put yourself off until tomorrow what will change your life today.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

A Different Kind Of Argument That You SHOULD Participate In!

Today is Monday and this seems to be the day that my brain likes to argue with me. It never used to argue with me, it would just tell me what to do and I would just listen to it.

Can I just tell you that this has gotten me into a whole lot of trouble in this life so I would highly suggest you read on if you want to avoid that as much as possible. Let me just add that each of my mistakes has made my life more rich and makes this journey that much more colorful but my purpose is to guide you along the easier path and to show you what is truly possible in this life!

Most of us are very familiar with what an argument is all about. Usually it’s between two, or more, people, each having a different opinion and each wanting to prove that their opinion is better than the other.

The need to be right in relationship arguments costs us our peace.

Today though, I want to turn this relationship around into a relationship that DOES warrant a good, strong argument.

It’s the relationship between you and your brain.

I want to ask you, did you know that you could argue with your brain? You can and you should.

Actually, the best thing you can do is question and argue what your brain is telling you.

Most of us just listen to our brain and accept everything it tells us to be truth. What you might not know though is that the brain would prefer you not fight for what you want.

Your brain would prefer you:

not work hard to succeed at your goals,

take the day off,

put that task off for sometime later,

go look at social media instead,

eat the food you told yourself you wouldn’t eat,

not work on that relationship that you have been mending,

spend the money,

drink the drink,

I want to challenge you to start paying attention to what your brain has to offer you, it’s quite interesting how we let it rule over us.

To give the brain credit, it is only doing what it is designed to do, as well as what we have taught it to do. You see, our brains are created to be motivationally driven to seek pleasure, avoid pain and to seek ease, it’s called the motivational triad, which I won’t be getting into today but it is the source of many of our modern problems.

Basically your brain is going to tell you to take the day off or so that task later when it just seems too hard (seek pleasure).

It’s going to tell you to spend the money, eat the food, drink the drink to avoid the pain of whatever negative emotion you may be experiencing (avoid pain).

Then, when things start to get hard, when you’ve done the easy steps towards your goal and now you’re starting to feel uncomfortable, your brain will tell you to take a short cut (create ease).

Once you actually start seeing what the brain is offering you, the next thing I want to do is challenge you to argue with it.

This is going to feel uncomfortable for awhile but once you start doing it you’re going to win and winning will start training it to not think in it’s old way.

Yet sometimes it’s pretty sneaky, like my brain today, and you forget about the fact that you can challenge what it is offering to you.

With practice you will get much quicker at the draw and you will be able to not only argue with your brain but you will also be able to win, always.

Winning these arguments are what will move you forward into the next version of yourself. The version that completes their goals, doesn’t put that task off and doesn’t eat the food or drink the drink.

I love these arguments but even more, I love winning them!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

What An Intentional Morning Practice Can Do For Your Day

Talk of meditating and being intentional about having a morning practice before you’re off to the races is nothing new.

I’ve been reading about this practice since I was a kid but it’s been around forever, according to Wikipedia, it’s mentioned in the bible 23 times, 19 of those times in the book of Psalms.

I have a morning practice that is important to me and my journey of showing up as the best version of myself every day, but it isn’t always easy and getting to this place has been quite the journey as well.

The problem with getting into a deliberate practice is that we live in a culture that thinks it’s so busy, that thinks there just isn’t time for that nonsense.

I completely disagree.

We can’t afford to not take time for what others may call nonsense.

My morning practice often takes an hour, some special days I allow it to take as long as it takes to get to where I feel it’s done. Then there are days when it is only a few minutes long or done while doing other tasks I do to get ready for my day, like brushing my teeth, washing my face, etc.

The fun fact is I currently get more done in a day than I ever have while hardly ever feeling busy. The even more exciting thing about this for me is that I am still young in the practice of managing my mind, so where all of this will go in the future motivates me to keep going.

I used to feel super guilty about this practice.

“What will other people think.”

“People will think I’m lazy.”

“People will think I’ve lost it.”

All of those thoughts that I used to struggle with, and sometimes still do, are thoughts about how I look to others verses trusting what is best for me in my life.

I then remember that I am the boss of my brain and I reign it back in.

I remind my brain that what others think is their own business, not mine.

I remind myself of how I fully approve of myself and that I am unwilling to reject myself because of others who may reject me.

I remember that I am willing to risk everyone’s rejection, except my own.

I have come to cherish and appreciate the value of this time, not only for me but for everyone that I encounter and pray for during that time.

Part of the practice includes my journal.

My journal is a place where I do daily thought downloads as well as unintentional and intentional thought models.

This journal has a multi-faceted purpose, one of which I experienced today.

This experience prompted this post, so I’d like to share it with you.

As you already know, I do a daily thought download and then look at both unintentional and intentional models from this download.

During my time this morning I was looking at a previous thought model from the day before and the result I had gotten in that model. Suddenly I was overcome with the true – more useful result that allowed me to open up to my next best version of myself.

That’s the power of my journal and this work.

It allows me to update more frequently than my Apple products!

If you are struggling with your morning practice, or just want to get started with one, then I’d love to help you help yourself. Send me an email with some days/times you’re available to chat and let’s start your very first update!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Ending Your Time Management Battle FOREVER

Ending Your Time Management Battle FOREVER | Relationship Coach

Let me guess.

You are too busy to get all of the things done that you tell yourself you need to do.

You have a list of things you want to do, and while you do succeed with crossing some of the things off, it seems like the things you add are winning at the task management game.

No matter what shiny new system you implement it always seems to end the same way: too many things and too little time.

I was the queen of the lists, often starting a new list every day during my quiet time so that eventually I had a list pile. That was fun.

My guess is that if you’re reading this post that you too struggle with getting all of the things done and this post could be just another one of those posts you read but don’t fully implement.

If you are reading this post and choose not to just read it, but actually take the massive action of implementing these tips and dedicate yourself to the work it will take to make them succeed, it will do more in your life than get you doing all of the things.

If you choose to take the massive action of honoring your commitment to yourself it will literally change your life completely.

The tips I am going to share with you are just a few of the key things that I did to finally end my time management battle.

I finally have gotten myself through the most difficult steps of the system, managing my mind drama through the process, and am now fine-tuning. This will be an ever-evolving process where, as my mind becomes cleaner, more powerful, I will start achieving more and more of what I want to accomplish while being able to take more and more time for myself.

I can’t keep this to myself so let me show you my best tricks.

Once a week, I suggest Monday morning, take an hour and do a complete to do download.

I use the same notebook strictly dedicated to this task though you could do it in any journal/notebook, even your bullet journal, or scrap paper. I write down all of the things I want to get done, both personal and business.

Then ask yourself these questions:

  • What do you want to do?
  • What do you have to do?
  • What do you need to do?
  • What do I wish I would do?
  • What are the consequences of not doing each task?

Then say out loud “I don’t have to do any of this.”, because it’s true. You do not have to do any of it.

Then cross off anything you choose not to do.

Decide what tasks you might be able to delegate.

Then prioritize the remaining list in terms of when it needs to get done.

Break each task down by the obstacles you will encounter in finishing this task and the strategies for completing the obstacles. These strategies are the steps to completing your task. Decide how long each will take and then schedule it on your calendar.

Always schedule your personal time first and then fill in the rest.

Once you do this then you throw your to-do list away and start working on managing your mind around what you told yourself to do.

Let me just help you out a moment with my best piece of advice. This is NOT something you’re going to do once and magically you’re organized and getting everything done.

This is just the first step because then what will happen is mind drama will come up. Don’t forget that your old self is still the one in control of you and your mind. Your old self tells you that you should go do something more appealing than what is up on your calendar. Your old brain neurological pathways are going to tell you that you can’t do this, that it will never work.

This is where the coaching comes in.

This is where learning how to use The Thought Model will start you on the road to success.

Trust me, if this can work for me, it will work for you, the first step is believing. Hard.

The next step is to start learning how to trust yourself.

If you struggle, like I did, with being down in the dumps about all of the things you’re never able to get around to then I would love to share a free, no-obligation, coaching call with you. In this session, we will talk about what your biggest struggle in life is right now, what it is that keeps you from living a completely fulfilled day, every day. You don’t have to do anything but set down your fear of judgment, I will walk you through and put you at ease. It’s fun, just send me an email (button on the bottom of page) with some days and times that are convenient for you, and I promise to make one of them work.

I can’t wait.

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I am a life coach who works with individuals looking to change their current or future romantic relationship – my program helps them discover that they are enough. This self-love empowers and equips them to take continual, forward steps in achieving the healthy, romantic relationship they desire. Are you ready to explore this journey in your life? Schedule your program inquiry call today and let’s decide together if this is your next step to creating the life you’ve been dreaming of.