Letting People’s Opinions Keep Us Stuck

When Other People's Opinions Keep Us Stuck

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As humans, we are very concerned about what the tribe thinks of us, and once upon a time, for a good reason. Long ago, not fitting in could have meant being the group’s weak link, causing us to be left behind to survive on our own so the tribe wouldn’t be compromised. Fitting in was a matter of life or death!

Now in the twenty-first century, this is not the case for us adults living our modern-day life. Not fitting in will most definitely not cause us death, yet our brain will do it’s hardest to convince you that this is a lie. Our brain wants us to stay stuck in our limiting belief, it thinks you are safer there.

First, I want you to pick a recent decision you’ve wanted to make and see how another’s opinion might affect your decision.

Let’s start by playing a little game, you know me, I LOVE to play! Let’s go back to your last big decision; maybe it was getting out of bed this morning, for real! Just come up with any decision, and I’m going to show you how this works with a decision like getting out of bed.

Example decisions could be:

  • Having that cake or donut or pizza, or all three
  • Quitting your job and starting your own business
  • Taking some time off of work
  • Leaving the party early
  • Choosing to not have a drink at dinner with your friends
  • Joining a program or taking a class

Secondly, I’d like you to write down what you think other people’s opinions might be about your choice.

Let’s go back to waking up when the alarm goes off. Let’s also pretend that you have mentioned to your partner that you’d like to start getting up earlier to get your workout in before work. The alarm goes off in the morning when you wanted to get up, and your partner pops right up out of bed. You want to stay under the covers and snuggle in. The thought crosses your mind that he might think you are lazy for not getting out of bed when you said you would. Now you feel guilty for wanting to stay in bed, and you start complaining about being tired, how you want to sleep another 15 minutes. You stay under the covers but don’t sleep one bit; you complain and tell yourself stories about how annoying your partner is. 30 minutes later, you drag yourself out of bed, complain about how late it is, rush around like a crazy woman making for a stressful morning. All of this resulting in you not doing what you said you wanted to do, thinking that you’re lazy, and getting annoyed with your partner, blaming him for making you feel guilty. None of this has anything to do with what your partner does, says, thinks, but when we don’t take care of our own needs, we will often look outside of ourselves to reason for our discomfort.

Pay attention to how you are getting into someone else’s head and letting them determine your outcome. When we are thinking these things about other people they are reflections of what we are thinking about ourselves.

  • He thinks I’m lazy > I think I’m lazy
  • She thinks I should stick with my old job > I think I should keep my old job and I’m afraid to decide on me
  • They think I’m fat because I eat pizza > I think I’m fat
  • He thinks I should work instead of taking a vacation > I think I don’t deserve a vacation
  • She thinks I’m boring for leaving the party early > I think I’m boring
  • They don’t think I’ll finish this course I’m wanting to purchase > I don’t think I’m going to complete this course I’m wanting to purchase

Now imagine yourself being able to make that decision from a place of believing in yourself.

Imagine letting go of the meaning you are making other people’s actions mean. How can we get out of their head and stay in our own? The solution is in creating belief and self-confidence in yourself that allows you to let others be who they are and not make their actions mean anything about who you are as a person.

I like to imagine myself going to the space after making the decision I want to make, the one that honors me. How would you have let anyone else’s actions not mean anything about you and everything about them? How would you have allowed others to think, say, and do their own thing knowing that you have your own back? You left the party when you said, got to bed early, and woke up feeling amazing.

Then, imagine going to the space after not making the decision you wanted to make because of what you thought other people were thinking. You stayed at the party late, drank more than you wanted to, only got a few hours of sleep, and woke up with a hang-over.

While I was thinking about all of this and writing this post, I then thought about the scenario of peer pressure around seeking mental wellness.

One of the main reasons people don’t seek a mental wellness professional is the fear of what other people will think, other people’s opinions.

It keeps us from doing many of the things we want to do, like seeking a personal trainer, getting a gym membership, taking a dance class, and hiring a professional to help us with our business website. Still, the most detrimental decision it keeps us from is the decision to invest in our ourselves.

When we let go of what others think and decide to be all in on ourselves, that’s when we can actually invest in ourselves and create the success that we have only dreamed of in the past. The only way to fully get to that place is to trust and believe in yourself – exactly what we do in AwakenYou.

As you start building a strong relationship with yourself you start noticing when you’re holding yourself back. You already just did an exercise of awareness, the more you start to see what you’re doing and the error of your thoughts you can start self-correcting.

Once you begin to Awaken(YourTrue)You you’ll start to catch on when your brain is working in it’s old operating system and needs to be self corrected into it’s new mode of operation. That new upgraded operating system decides what’s best for us without worrying what others think.

If this article resonated with you I also wrote another blog about other people’s opinions that has a whole different perspective, go check it out!

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“

Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

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When We Think We Have No One

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That lonely feeling comes when we think we’ve been left behind by all the people we love and are left all alone. We feel hopeless, we disappear, withdraw, binge on whatever distracts us from our pain, we don’t support ourselves, and all of the actions we find ourselves taking have us leaving ourselves behind.

I was coaching someone on this the other day. She couldn’t see anything positive about her situation; she was stuck sitting in a pile of self-pity, unable to crawl out. This is not an uncommon situation to find ourselves when life seems to be throwing us all the wrong cards from the deck. Our mind gets stuck in a downward spiral of negative thinking, and we find it almost impossible to dig up even one positive thought. Today I’m going to be your helping hand by pulling you out of the pool you might find yourself drowning in.

How to get out of the self-pity pile

Ask good questions.

Often, the best tactic out of our mess is to sit in it for a while and assess what is truly happening. Let’s start by asking yourself questions that will get your brain out of its current thought loop. I wrote a post about asking yourself great questions that can help you with this. Asking yourself good questions is a way of directing that incredibly smart brain of yours. Your brain wants to be put to work; it wants to problem solve, so now is as good of a time as any to put it to work on something other than where it is defaulting to with thought errors (thoughts that keep you from moving forward).

  • How did we get here?
  • What is perfect about where we are right now?
  • How are all of the negative thoughts my mind is coming up with not true?
  • If I knew something beautiful was going to come out of this, what would I do right now?
  • How is this all for me?

Really dig into the truth of where you are and then ask yourself this question:

Am I really alone?

Equal air time.

Next it’s time to direct your brain towards all of the positive things you have in your life. When we are stuck in the self-pity pool our brain seems determined to keep punching us in the face, it’s time to set the boxing gloves down and start focusing on something different. I have a fun exercise I have my clients do where they list all of the things they have accomplished in their life, please download it here and start your own list. Every time your brain goes to the negative pull out your list and add some more things to the list, direct that toddler brain!

We are never alone, ever. When we think we are alone we are disconnected from ourselves and we are disconnected from our Creator. One of my favorite quotes by Wayne Dyer is “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with.”

Sometimes life has a way of forcing us into a spot where we are blessed to be alone. Time alone is time to focus on ourselves, to look in the mirror, give ourselves a high-five and dig in.

Naturally we don’t like when people leave us. There was a point in human existence where it meant being outcast and possibly left to die. Our brain though hasn’t caught up with our modern world, people leaving us doesn’t mean we will die, starve and be eaten by the lions.

Ask yourself how you will utilize this time to grow. How will you trust that everything will work itself out for your good?

You are never alone, ever. If you try my tactics and still can’t seem to get yourself above water then please book yourself a free coaching session or get on my mailing list and join my monthly free coaching public call, every first Wednesday of the month so I can help you move one step forward.

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“

Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(YourTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

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Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive Dissonance

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Cognitive what? I know it sounds a bit difficult, but I’m going to break it down for you because it’s something that we all experience, and once you understand it, you’ll be able to see it at work in your life. Once we recognize cognitive dissonance for what it is, we can close the gap between what you currently believe and what you want to believe.

Let’s start with a definition. Cognitive dissonance is the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.

Yikes!

Let’s break it down a bit more because if you’re not confused, I am. Basically, cognitive dissonance is when we know how we want to act, we know the “right” beliefs that could get us to take the actions we want to take, but yet we don’t believe those thoughts enough to take the action we desire consistently.

Phew. I know, it’s a mouth-full!

Cognitive dissonance can also work in reverse where you have taken steps towards your future self and are doing the things that you want to be doing but your old self and thoughts are trying to tell you that you can’t do it. I call this identity crisis which I will speak about in a future post.

Cognitive dissonance examples:

  • Knowing sugar isn’t good for you but eating it anyway.
  • Knowing that we want to get up early tomorrow morning having a rested and clear mind but staying up late and watching Netflix anyway.
  • Wanting to snuggle on a Friday night with our honey but staying at work late instead.

The work I do as a coach helps you see your current beliefs and how they are serving you. What that means is we uncover the things you are thinking that are keeping you from achieving what you want in your love relationship. Once we understand how we feel is coming from how we are thinking, we can then start looking at what other beliefs we might want to begin working towards.

The trick is that once we decide where it is we want to go with our new belief, cognitive dissonance steps in between that new belief and our old one. How long it will take us to eliminate the dissonance truly depends on our willingness to do the work of banning the old thought and how long that old thought has been lurking in our brain. It also requires that you take believable steps in your new belief creation; downloading the thought laddering worksheet found in my post “Getting From Here To There” will help tremendously in this process.

The process of closing the cognitive dissonance gap is one of the biggest reasons we hire coaches. First, a coach helps you discover the pesky belief holding you back; then your coach helps you close the gap of disbelief and keep you moving towards a belief that will serve the life you want to create for yourself. On our own we will always gravitate towards the belief we’ve identified with, our coach helps us uncover how we are doing this so we can keep making progress.

The gap between what we currently believe and what we want to believe can seem difficult to overcome. As much as we dream of the desired results and as much as we despise where we currently are, there is comfort in the mess that we sit in. Take a look at the industry I served for over thirty years, the “fitness division” of the health and wellness industryβ€”so many people miserable where they are yet stuck in that misery. “About 82.1 million adults spend an estimated $28.6 billion on gym memberships each year. And yet 6.3% of these aspirational gymgoers never end up using them.” That, my loves, is some cognitive dissonance!

Where we want to be and what it means to us.

Most of us have dreams of being somewhere other than where we are in life and I believe that’s a beautiful thing, I’m all in on growing, learning, expanding our horizons. The problem is how we think we will feel when we get there, our reason for getting there is that we think life will be better “there.” Most of us think our lives will be better when we have the love, have the car, have the job, have the goal weight and so we keep chasing that better life. Here’s the problem though, we’re not enjoying where we are, what we have achieved so when we get there we will be looking ahead to the next, never satisfied.

Pay attention. Look at some goals you have achieved; maybe you’ve married the man (or woman), bought the car, and landed the job, but you’re still not happy. That’s because you are always in search of the happiness outside of yourself, in that next best thing, never truly enjoying the current victory for more than a moment before you move on, not truly in love with where you are.

I love asking myself, “What is perfect about right now?”

It’s when we can fully love ourselves and our current life that we can actually start drawing more to us, but not because we need them to feel happy, but simply because we want to. When we know where we want to be, we can recognize that the achievement will be the reward and that life will still be 50/50 when we get there; that’s when we start making true progress towards our dreams while fully enjoying the space between here and there.

Where we are and our belief in attaining our goal.

Most of the time, our belief in ourselves and our ability to achieve our goal is in the dump. When this is the case, it’s difficult for us to believe enough to invest in ourselves.

Working in the fitness industry for thirty years showed me how much money people will throw at promises to look good. Yet, we are reluctant to invest in what will allow us to achieve our fitness goals, sustain those goals, and achieve our life goals. Why? Because we don’t believe in ourselves, we want someone else to tell us what to do so we can look to them when things don’t go the way we expect. Learning how to manage our mind allows us to create our own path, the path that will produce lasting change.

The price of the coaching program doesn’t matter when a person’s dissonance is large. If the program is cheap, they may buy-in, but only because their rationale is that they might lose that money and they are ok with that. When the program is worth its gold weight, they doubt themselves so much that the price becomes the obstacle to starting.

Once we learn how to be all in ourselves and believe that we can create our desired results, that’s when we wouldn’t even consider the “cheap” program because we believe in the value we will produce for ourselves. We know the value is priceless and that we will be making an investment that will easily pay itself off.

Stepping into belief and closing the dissonance gap.

One, you could decide today to be all in on believing in yourself and your ability to produce the promised results with your new coach’s help. This is a stretch for most people, and that’s why I offer so much free value here on my blog, in my free courses, and on my social media platforms. It allows people to start the work independently, start closing the dissonance gap and start taking steps towards self-belief, self-trust, and trust in me as their future coach. As you create the results on your own you will know that continuing this work with a professional will put you in the fast lane.

My job is to show you how to believe in yourself, help you to believe that you are worthy and capable of the results of this work.

Personally, I have watched the cognitive dissonance be reduced in so many areas of my life, the biggest one is seeing, believing and investing in the work of cleaning my own mind.

I used to yearn for the dream; I believed my dream was worth millions, yet I didn’t believe hard enough to justify investment in a coach to guide me. The truth is, I didn’t believe in my ability to create the results, but I did the work of narrowing my cognitive dissonance, and then I believed enough to dive into the deep end.

I will NEVER regret that decision.

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“

Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

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The Quick Fix Myth

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You are in pain in your love relationship, and you are seeking help, now, quickly, like yesterday. This is the case for many of the people I talk to who want to bring love back into their love relationship. When you think about it, many of us are like this with most of our goals; we decide it’s time to giddy-up, we jump on a horse we’ve never ridden, on a saddle that doesn’t fit, and wonder why a few miles into the journey we’ve been thrown off left to lick our wounds.

The bad news I have to share with you today might create all sorts of thoughts that make you feel disappointed, sad, hopeless about wanting to do the work it will take to turn your relationship around. Which, of course, will get you the same results you have right now, being out of love.

The good news I have to share with you is that by the end of this article you will have hope, desire and motivation to get started on your journey today.

The Relationship Quick Fix

This is similar to turning the light switch on, and πŸ’₯ there is love, romance, connection, joy. You decided for the moment that you were going to change your ways, you know, like telling yourself you weren’t going to eat sweets, ever. Slowly, over time you start to creep back to your normal self, slipping those sweets in here and there, wondering why you’re not feeling the love again. You decided to switch the light on, bury, and ignore your emotions without dealing with the root of your problem – why you want the sugar. You decided you didn’t want to be uncomfortable and look inside when your partner acted or didn’t act a certain way.

We start out doing things to make the other person happy, they respond, and we think everything is working fine. Because we are outside motivated, we slack off on the work we were doing, and in response, so does your partner, then resentment enters the scene. Again, we start looking at why they aren’t doing what they need to do to make the relationship work; we are looking outside of ourselves for satisfaction. We get angry at the sweets for being there instead of dealing with the discomfort of managing our minds around why we want them, instead of doing what we said we would do for delayed gratification.

We go back to what we always did, that which made us unhappy in the first place: avoiding, blaming, looking for immediate pleasure instead of working through issues, not managing our minds, resenting, going back to what is comfortable but not what we want.

The Life Changing Relationship Fix

We are the root of our own problems, and often, we don’t want to do that work. Why? For the exact reasons that we need to: because it sounds hard, it sounds uncomfortable. Easy never wins; think about all of the “easy” fixes you have had in your life; did they last? Did they REALLY make you happy?

The work of looking inside is an investment in YOU that will pay itself back in more ways than just feeling better in your love relationship. It will:

  • Improve all of your relationships
  • It will have you producing more than you have ever produced
  • You will have more energy than you’ve ever had
  • You will create more money and pleasure
  • You will lose the weight, feel calm and look better than ever
  • Creating that which you have always wanted to create

It is the work of reinventing a lifetime of hurts, habits, and hang-ups, and anyone who thinks they don’t need to do this work is settling for the life they have. I’m not saying that is wrong, but when you complain about that life, that’s when it’s wrong. That’s when you are missing the point.

The process of dealing with the root of the problem is creating slow self-pleasure releasing hits over and over again versus the self-ignoring buffering pleasure hits of your past. The daily joy that comes as you heal from the inside and create permanent change in your life feels good and very self motivating.

Re-wiring old neuropathways takes time, takes patience, takes consistent daily steps forward. It’s a continual journey to self-awareness and freedom from being at the mercy of self-limiting beliefs. It’s all-in on yourself, every day, and believing in the future that you are creating, one powerful moment at a time.

No matter what relationship quick fix someone may be offering you, there is no quick fix that is permanent. That would be like me promising you that there is a quick and easy way to losing your extra weight, forever. After thirty years in the health and wellness industry let me tell you, there is no quick fix for any permanent change in your life. Any quick fix over time will have you, at best, right back where you started though more often than not, in a worse place than where you started.

All permanent, long-lived solutions are life journeys where you re-commit daily to being better than the day before. To lose weight permanently, you have to be willing to work on mind management every day. Getting to your goal weight isn’t the end of the journey; it’s a continual journey to improve your relationship with food and yourself. Getting to your dream relationship is the same, every day re-committing to the work, re-committing to your partner, re-committing to yourself as you nurture and grow into your next best self.

That is why my clients hire me to help them along the journey to empower them to take the brave steps forward into the life they know they could live but the life they haven’t figured out how to step into.

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“

Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

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Post Traumatic Growth With Monaye Marcia

post traumatic growth with Monaye Marcia

Today’s guest is Monaye Marcia of Monaye Marcia Coaching. Coach Monaye teaches her clients how to create a post traumatic growth mindset. This mindset is a positive psychological change born out of a stressful or traumatic circumstance. Achievement of this mindset not only helps her clients manage their trauma; they actually thrive and grow because of it.
Monaye coaches for The Divinity House, a trauma-informed re-entry home for formerly incarcerated women. She also is a founding member of The Coaches of Color Collective, a monthly roundtable that focuses on strengthening the black community by empowering their minds.Β Monaye also enjoys soaking up the sun in Nevada with her two children.

Listen in as this beautiful soul shares her journey into life coaching and how she helps the people she serves, enjoy!

Thank you so much for listening! Here is how you can find Monaye and the resources that she shared:

Monaye Marcia Coaching (webpage)

Instagram

Facebook 

Free course: Post-Traumatic Growth Mindset Formula

Book recommendation: One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“

Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

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Your Dream Relationship Begins With You

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Cal came to me fifteen years into his relationship, in a place he called desperate. Cal’s wife had expressed her discontent in their relationship and told him she was considering leaving. He was doing everything he could to figure out what he could do to make her stay, nothing seemed to be working. He wasn’t performing well at work because his mind was never where he was, it was always on his wife and the life they had built together, a life that included children that he adored but couldn’t even give his attention.

It is not at all uncommon for couples to wake up at some point in their marriage wondering how they got here. Though together, they have lived separate lives for so long that the gap between them seems too deep to unite. Many times one is ready to let go while the other is desperately trying to pull them in.

Most of us are looking outside of ourselves to feel love. We are attempting to get someone else to feel differently, act differently, think differently so that we can feel better, feel loved. We find ourselves desperately doing things in an effort to get people to love us, it’s people-pleasing and it doesn’t work.

So what is the solution to creating your dream relationship?

Stop looking to others to fill up your emotional cup, it’s time to build your own love fountain. You can’t fall in love and expect the love to last unless you first do the work of loving yourself. I often tell people considering marriage that it takes two whole people to come together and become one, then I ask them if they feel complete and whole.

The first thing people will often tell me is that they do love themselves, but after asking a few questions we discover the truth. You can’t feel whole if you don’t first have a loving relationship with yourself.

Secondly, I want to ask you who your original “love” connection role models were, you don’t have to look too hard. If you were raised by your birth parents, it would be them. Maybe you don’t remember your original instructors, that’s significant to helping you understand how you connect with your partner now.

Definition of relationship:

Let’s look at what many people think relationships are: what other people think of us. We work hard to prove ourselves as someone worthy of being in a relationship with, often maintaining a certain distance just in case the other person decides to change their mind about us. With this definition, we find ourselves never fully committing to the relationship and, listen closely; we treat our relationship with ourselves the same.

Let me give you a better definition of relationship, a definition that will completely set you free. My definition of relationship is your thoughts about someone else. That’s it. No performance on your part necessary, you show up as you and decide what you want to think about your connection with the other person. What this means is you also have to let the other person decide what they think of you. In your love relationship you cannot change how your partner thinks, feels and acts towards you, all you can do is work on your side of the relationship.

Now, take my definition of relationship and apply it to yourself. What are your thoughts about you?

What does loving yourself mean?

I have a question I like to ask myself on the regular: if I was in relationship with myself, would I love me? How do I speak to myself? How to I treat my body? Who do I allow in my life? Do I set boundaries to protect myself?

Let’s look at a few examples of what loving yourself could look like:

  • You speak positively to yourself, like someone you are in love with.
  • Honoring your commitments to yourself. You trust yourself by doing what you tell yourself you’re going to do. You work on your important relationships. You follow through on things you committed to doing even though you might feel uncomfortable taking action. You question all current beliefs and re-commit to the ones that serve you, changing those that don’t serve you (not lovable, not valuable, not worthy). You know that other people can’t hurt or reject you – only you can do that.
  • You feel and process your emotions, taking full responsibility for how you feel and not for how others feel, you build your self-confidence.
  • You tell the truth by expressing your opinion and not people-pleasing.
  • You value your own opinion and your feelings.
  • You commit to loving yourself no matter what and don’t put love aside to beat yourself up or feel shame and guilt.
  • Let go of the need to be right.
  • Allowing others to be themselves without needing to change or control them.
  • Letting go of perfectionist characteristics.

So how do you start implementing this work of learning how to love yourself?

Step one is to make and commit to the decision that you will do the work to learn how to love yourself.

Then you consciously re-commit to your work hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, etc – you make it a lifetime commitment that you continually decide on.

Step two is creating awareness

You begin to notice what you do, notice what you are feeling, notice what thought is creating how you feel and you start to understand what it is you are doing and why. Learn how to become aware of how you are feeling in your body – this is the indicator of whether you are thinking something powerful or limiting. You will begin by becoming aware after self-defeating actions as you do the work of noticing and correcting. Then you will begin to notice it while you are doing it. Lastly, you will see it coming and be able to change course, eventually, it will just be what you do – love yourself unconditionally.

Step three is creating balance

When you notice yourself being negative dig into the why, why are you beating yourself up? Then see if you can replace it with something more positive, a ladder thought – also learning how to recognize and give yourself credit when you treat yourself positively. Try doing my free Relationship Abundance course and put yourself in as your partner.

Step four is to create an affirmation practice

I highly recommend the use of affirmations which is the work of creating new thoughts that you believe about yourself and repeating them. Record yourself saying them and then listen to your voice speaking them. The process is all laid out in my free Abundant Love mini-course. My form of affirmations IS NOT the process of attempting to believe something you don’t believe, and it works!

Wondering about Cal and his marriage? Cal has found that when he stays out of his wife’s head and really works on honoring himself and telling the truth, his relationship starts to come together. Yep, it’s true and it works.

As you do this work you will start to notice your partner change. You will no longer be expecting them to act a certain way so you can feel good because you are learning how to make yourself happy. When you know how to make yourself happy then when you come together with your lover you can just let them be themselves and all you have to do is show up to love them!

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

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Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!