Pornography

Today I want to lightly dig into the the topic of pornography when it comes to the effect that it has possibly had in your life and your relationships.

As a life coach, my aim is to help my clients look at current belief systems around the things in their lives that are causing problems for them. Beliefs that are keeping them stuck and unable to move forward. We look at beliefs that aren’t serving them in their life and do the work of wiggling those beliefs into something that can start moving them towards the results they desire, results they haven’t been able to move close to. In order to do that I will often challenge beliefs that keep us in our past life and we work on moving forward into the person we want to be in our intimate relationships.

That’s what I’m going to talk about here with the topic of pornography.

For me, I have spent most of my life holding on tightly to a belief about early exposure to pornography. A belief that has kept me stuck in so many ways, but most evidently in my relationships. Nothing seemed to help me get out of the past, out of the resentment, out of the anger, blame and disgust. Life coaching is what enabled me to start the process of letting go of the story I was holding so tightly to, the story that was only destroying me, the story I made a part of my identity. My coach enabled me to let of my story and start creating my own beautiful story around me, my relationships and my sexuality.

A big part of that beautiful story is that my experience allows me to help other women. I am able to understand how much pain other women are around their past life stories and able to help them out of that place, into a life of relational and sexual freedom. I want you to know that I am not by any means a sex expert, I am only using my story to help others with their journey and struggles so they can start healing and create a loving relationship that they have been keeping themselves from having.

Let’s start with what pornography is: sexually explicit videos, photographs, writings, or the like, whose purpose is to elicit sexual arousal.

Basically, pornography is a form of buffering or escapism, similar to alcohol or drug use or overeating, over Netflixing. Buffering is when we are putting something between ourselves and something we don’t want to experience. It starts with seeking some sort of pleasure to escape from a negative emotion, an emotion the person doesn’t want, or know how, to process, immediate gratification sounds like a much better idea in the moment.

Pornography allows a person to escape that negative thing going on in their life. It’s cheap, it’s readily assessable and highly gratifying. As human beings we are genetically wired to be sexual, it’s in our DNA, it guarantees procreation and, let’s be honest, sexual gratification feels good. When we have an orgasm our brain creates a huge dopamine deposit into the blood stream telling us that what we just did was amazing and that we should do it again, and again. When used the way God designed it to be used it’s amazing, when we abuse it, well, that’s when things happen that don’t make us feel so good. That dopamine hit is highly addictive and when we don’t know how to deal with the root problem that is driving us to other sources for sexual gratification, we will seek more and more of our buffer of choice.

Pornography use and exposure becomes hurtful to us, and our future or current, partners for many reasons, with these being a few:

  • Distorted expectations of what sex looks like in real life
  • A higher sexual gratification threshold
  • Distorted expectations of what the human body should look like in order to be appealing to the opposite sex
  • Distorted ideas of how to get attention from the opposite sex and what their values might be
  • It distorts our own perceived value
  • It distorts ones view of a healthy sex life creating future relational disconnect

Let’s start by looking at pornographic exposure for young minds who are developing their ideas about relationships, themselves and their worthiness. Early exposure without education can be an influence of how to get attention from the opposite sex, it can drive early experimentation, it can create unrealistic expectations of how to behave and possibly turn into a learned tool to attract or get validation from the opposite sex. Pornographic exposure is more real today than ever which means that our children need help maneuvering through the experience they will come across, expect it sooner than later. We can help them by talking openly to our children, helping them to understand why it is unrealistic and damaging. We can help them by keeping lines of communication open instead of closing them down by shaming, guilting or scaring them. Teaching our next generation about the gift of sexual desire and what healthy relationships look like opens up the secrecy and makes it less interesting to developing minds.

Next let’s look at when we have people in our lives who are having a pornography buffering compulsion. Our typical reaction to loved ones in our lives who are dealing with a sexual compulsion is to shame and guilt them, avoid them, blow up, constantly checking up on them, sneaking into their computers or phones, withdraw intimacy, blame them for the problems in their relationship and, of course, to think that we’re not enough, that we’re the reason they are using porn. The truth is that pornography is actually neutral, it is real in our world, it is factual, by itself it’s nothing. We are the ones who put meaning to pornographic use or exposure, that meaning will create an feeling that will dictate how we act and the results we will get in our relationships with ourselves. When we think thoughts like “they spend more time watching porn than paying attention to me”, producing the emotion of resentment, we’re showing up in ways we aren’t really proud of in an effort to try and control them. The end result is us spending lots of time complaining about how someone else isn’t treating us right which gives us the result of us mistreating ourselves.

We could totally skip the part that creates us beating ourself up. We can totally skip to empathy so we can show up for our partner. We can totally decide that someone else’s problem is for them to figure out and that we’re here for them, no matter what.

Please don’t misunderstand me. If I could eliminate pornography I would be all on board with that, unfortunately that isn’t in my control, nor do I want it to be. What is in my control is how I’m thinking about it and what that will do for all of the people around me. I want to be able to open up clarity around what is real and what is real is that our children are being exposed to it and our loved ones are using it to avoid what is happening in their life. When we come at pornography from a place of wanting to be able to help our children, to be able to not make it mean anything about us when our spouse is buffering with it, wanting to have open conversation instead of hiding in shame, that’s when we will need to feel self confident, empathetic, compassionate and certain. Our thoughts will need to be thoughts of how you want to help your children or spouse through their life, which allows you to show up with unconditional love, as your best self, and that my friend is a beautiful result.

When looking at one’s own personal experience around pornography and sexual dysfunction, the self coaching model will help you create awareness with what is happening for you so that we can then see how it might be affecting our relationships.

My journey to awareness around pornographic material, my journey of re-writing my story has empowered me in my own relationships and has led me to help empower others in their own journey. Being able to use my story to teach others how to let go of the chains from their past and their own sexuality has been one of the most rewarding parts of what I do.

I have a passion to create awareness and openness around the topic of pornography and it’s affect on people’s most intimate relationships, instead of sweeping it under the rug creating long term dysfunction. Let my passion allow you to finally let go of the story you keep telling the world. Let my passion allow you to tell a new story, a story of who you really are and a story of who you are becoming. Let me help you become the person who is intimately in love with their committed relationship.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for women who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. I show you how to stop settling and bring back the love, connection and excitement you crave. Let’s re-ignite your marriage relationship today!

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

Please share this message with anyone who you know who might benefit from hearing this message. Don’t forget to join my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

If you’d like to get more empowering emails delivered straight to you and never miss another post please get yourself signed up for my newsletter!

From Relationship Scarcity To Abundance

It is 100% possible and the journey I take my clients through.

This is the last of a three part series where I dig into my concepts of relationship scarcity and relationship abundance. If you haven’t been following along then I’d strongly suggest you go back to my last two posts before you explore today’s post.

Today I want to talk about the process of going from relationship scarcity to relationship abundance. Let’s start with my definitions for both and see if we can find out where you might be on the relationship continuum.

Relationship scarcity – is when we think there is always a shortness of supply when it comes to our relationships. Not enough of them, not enough love being given, basically always in a state of never enoughness.

Relationship abundance – Always an overabundant amount of love which is overflowing from within oneself.

The process of getting from relationship scarcity to abundance is the meat and potatoes of my Awaken You coaching program. Going from a place of never enoughness to overflowing fullness. It’s going from a heart that is constantly being filled up from an outside vessel, yet always empty, to the place of complete heart healing that finds the heart always full.

The process is one of learning how to watch one’s mind, seeing what is going on in there, on default. Once we are able to see what we’ve been doing as habit, on autopilot, we can then learn how to manage and train it for complete success.

Complete relationship abundance.

Let me share six different ways to start the journey:

Learning how to use the thought model to look at what your current thoughts are producing for you.

This in of itself is a mind blowing, life changing, tool. Once you learn the concept of the thought model and practice using it you learn that all of your thoughts are 100% optional and not unchangeable facts. Through the model we have the ability to see how to change our current personal reality.

Learn how to take your power back by changing old belief systems.

You will start to see how you are giving away your power to others, both in our past and present lives. We learn the process of letting go of old stories and re-writing them in a way that serves us. We learn how to stop looking to our past for evidence of what we will produce in our future. We examine current belief systems and challenge them all.

Learn how to be self confident.

You stop being afraid and start experiencing all of the emotions that are available to us, especially those that keep us from showing up at our full capacity. You learn how to trust yourself and do what you tell yourself you’re going to do.

Dig into relationships that hurt.

You begin to discover the freedom that comes when you are able to release the pain and start moving towards neutrality and, if you choose, unconditional love.

Learn how to let go of self destructive behaviors.

Including over eating, over drinking, over spending, over exercising, people pleasing, over medicating, under performing, by learning how to fully experience what is happening for us instead of numbing out and avoiding.

Learn how to plan for success.

When you know how to manage your brain around time then we can start producing our dream life instead of just hoping.

Stepping into relationship abundance is like stepping through the veil of darkness into a world of utter blinding brightness. It’s a freedom hard to fully describe to the relationally scarce person, but most certainly worth the challenge.

Your life will never be the same once you’ve done this work.

Your taste of freedom, light and love will be a feeling you won’t want to ever let go of and I can’t wait to lead you there!

💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for women who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. I show you how to stop settling and bring back the love, fun and excitement you crave. I have made it my mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this it and join my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

If you’d like to get more empowering emails delivered straight to you and never miss another post please get yourself signed up for my newsletter!

Four Ways To Stop Letting Yourself Down

We all do it.

The good news is that we have the power to change history for ourselves.

What we do after we let ourselves down determines whether we use the experience to move us forward or get us even more stuck in old patterning.

As we break the old patterning we will be able to see ourselves WANTING to fall back to old patterning by seeing ourselves WANTING to let ourselves down. As we break this patterning though and start to feel the incredible feeling of NOT letting ourselves down we are able to stop ourselves before we seek immediate pleasure at our own expense.

I’m curious, what is your favorite way to let yourself down?

  • Over: eat – drink – spend – sleep, under sleep
  • Don’t complete goals, possibly never even start them, just think about some day….
  • Sustain an unfulfilling life
  • Don’t speak up for yourself
  • Don’t take time to understand what you’re feeling or what you want out of life
  • Allow yourself to stay stuck in relationships that don’t seem to be working for you (this is something you have full power over, without even involving the other person)
  • You don’t believe you deserve a better life
  • You aren’t growing
  • You self criticize
  • You don’t peel off that outer facade and start designing the life you were created to live

I’d like you to pause for a moment and ask yourself why you are letting yourself down? Why are you allowing this to happen in your life?

Let me offer a few reasons why we let ourselves down:

  • We want to seek immediate pleasure even though it doesn’t last and often let’s us down
  • We don’t want to endure the immediate discomfort of not indulging
  • We haven’t figured out how to manage our time, project/goal plan
  • We’ve created a patterning of not trusting ourselves
  • We lack the self confidence to do the things we are afraid of doing
  • We are people pleasing instead of self pleasing
  • Our relationship with ourself is weak
  • Habit: we’ve developed brain patterning that keeps us doing what it is we’ve always done, even when it hurts us in the long run, we don’t know how to change

While I have been thinking about this whole phenomenon of letting ourselves down I started to notice how we act when we let ourselves down:

  • make excuses
  • beat ourselves up
  • ignore, pretend it didn’t happen, avoid
  • learn from the experience

This last option is the option I want to help you to start choosing. This is going to be the option that will allow you to grow, move forward and start changing years of patterning. The other choices, well, they just keep you stuck and actually, falling deeper into the patterning you’ve created for yourself.

Here are my four suggestions to get you started in moving you forward and starting the process of standing up for yourself:

Awareness

Start paying attention to what you’re thinking and how it’s making you feel.

Start being on to yourself and noticing when you do let yourself down. It’s all going to start by looking back at when you do let yourself down. Notice it first, then when you start noticing you can write down some things: what were you thinking before you let yourself down, how did those thoughts feel, that feeling is what drove you to the action of letting yourself down, doing what it is you didn’t want to do resulting in you letting yourself down.

Once you start breaking it down after the fact you will notice that your brain will start becoming aware before you let yourself down, your conditioning will still have you doing what you’ve always done, that’s ok, repeat the writing process above.

Eventually you will start catching on to yourself.

This is when you can start questioning what you’re doing before you even do it. You can dig into why you’re doing what you’re doing, it’s always because of a feeling that comes from a thought. Here is when you can start actually noticing what happens when you resist that emotion, which is what we’ve been trained to do in our past, hence why most diets and goals end up failing. Resistance leads to giving in, and usually giving in HARD. This is where you will want to learn how to allow the emotion, how to sit there and be uncomfortable with the urge to let yourself down.

This is where you learn how to stop reacting to emotions by becoming aware of them and just watching them pass by.

Create a goal

Yes, one goal, but this is just the start. Many of us think up some pretty amazing goals, yet we have no idea how to plan and create success with those goals, we’re over ambitious and plan a long list of goals all at one time, a perfect set up for failure.

It starts with picking one goal and then creating an obstacle list. What are all of the things you’re going to run into that will keep you from reaching that goal. Write them down.

Then you will come up with a list of strategies for your obstacles, you will schedule all of these strategies on your calendar. If the strategy is lengthy then break it down into bite size chunks.

Lastly, you will need to go back up to the awareness section because every time one of those strategies comes up on your calendar, guess what?

You’e going to want to let yourself down.

Ask great questions

Your brain will search for answers to the questions you ask it, so ask questions that move you forward, not questions that keep you stuck.

Poor questions:

  • Why am I such a failure?
  • Why can’t I do what I say I’m going to do?
  • Why am I so weak?

Instead ask great questions:

  • In what ways am I strong and powerful?
  • How can I succeed at this next task?
  • How can I start doing what I say I’m going to do?

Start practicing these new thoughts

Once you start asking good questions you’re going to have some good thoughts to think. Start practicing these thoughts, but make sure they are believable because practicing thoughts that you don’t believe won’t get you anywhere except right back to letting yourself down.

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My Awaken(YourTrue)You program teaches incredibly powerful women like yourself how to identify and live out your truth. How to believe in your success and boldly share it with the world. How to leave a legacy.

I offer a free call to anyone brave enough to take the steps of creating the life they were meant to live. It’s a call for you to decide if this work is for you or not. I believe it is.

Share this message with a friend who needs to hear it, for every woman willing to do the work of becoming her best self there will be thousands of others impacted by her journey.

This is my life, join me in my mission to save the world, one powerful woman at a time.

Living A Life Worth Living

I wonder how many of us are actually living a life that we feel is even worth living.

I then wonder how many of us are actually “living” in our current life?

How often are we fully content, right here, right now, not wanting and wishing for something better?

Before I go on, I want to pause. I am not at all talking about not having goals, of not wanting to strive for greater achievement. I am talking about being fully content and happy with our present circumstance.

In my reading the other day I found that soon it may be possible for many people to prolong their life to upwards of 115 years. If we are able to live that long what value does it hold unless we are living a life worth living?

I can say that my past life experience has often been one of not appreciating the amazing space I find myself currently in but often fantasizing about how life could be…when I find success.

As I type those words I can honestly say how grateful I am for the coaching work I have done to get to a place where I feel completely at peace with who I am and what I’m doing in the world. 

When we go from always wanting something different to accepting and loving where we currently are then living to 115 sounds, and will be, amazing.

To be able to come to the end of each day seeing each accomplishment. To be able to successfully assess things that didn’t go well in your day, evaluate them from a place of compassion, not self judgement, to learn and grow. To love and trust in yourself so much that you know each day moving forward will be a beautiful, growing experience.

Living like that is a daily life worth living.

Creating a meaningful life means everyday is better than the last and then there is no fear in questioning whether living to 115 would be worth living.

Now, ask yourself honestly if you feel like you are living your best life? If you don’t feel like you are then ask yourself why. Why aren’t you? Most of us don’t know how, we were never taught how. That’s what I teach. I teach you how to live your best life, a life worth living.

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My Awaken(YourTrue)You program teaches incredibly powerful women like yourself how to identify and live out your truth. How to believe in your success and boldly share it with the world. How to leave a legacy.

I offer a free call to anyone brave enough to take the steps of creating the life they were meant to live. It’s a call for you to decide if this work is for you or not. I believe it is.

Share this message with a friend who needs to hear it, for every woman willing to do the work of becoming her best self there will be thousands of others impacted by her journey.

This is my life, join me in my mission to save the world, one powerful woman at a time.

Social Taboo: Talking Out Loud About Our Struggles

As I was reflecting on a social gathering we had here at the house a few weeks back, it struck me as interesting when I thought about how uncomfortable people get when we openly discuss things that we are struggling with in our lives.

It’s not that I don’t understand why, I mean, I was the queen of covering up my poop 🤣🤣🤣 ! OK, let’s pause a moment because I am completely laughing out loud at myself. The previous sentence was not in my original writing of this post and that sentence was real truth my friends! I just was envisioning my dog Zeta after she does her business, she is adamant about covering up her 💩, sort of like I was 🤣.

It’s just that through all of the self work I have done, through all of the coaching I have gotten, I am very comfortable talking about my 💩 and I’m going to tell you why. If we just keep covering it all up it becomes a big pile of messiness but the messiness isn’t outside of us, like it is for Zeta, it’s all piling up inside of us creating one big toxic mess. Getting it out, talking with a coach, seeing it on paper, hearing it out loud allows us to process and start re-wiring our inner, self taught program, allowing us to upgrade into a daily next best version.

I wonder if you can figure out why we’re so uncomfortable talking about our problems.

What I came up with is that we’re uncomfortable with ourselves. We are ashamed, embarrassed, disappointed, afraid of other people’s judgement, what they might say.

We attempt to control what other people think about us by doing things like:

  • pretend everything is amazing
  • complain and blame others
  • gossip about others, directing attention to someone else’s “dysfunction”

I now realize how healthy it is to share our struggles and here is why I believe this:

  • talking out loud about our struggles allows us to heal but also brings about healing in others, as they hear our story they can start to feel some relief, some hope and possibly be able to initiate positive steps towards feeling better themselves
  • it helps you be a true human, not pretending to be perfect or someone you’re not
  • it allows people to see the true you and connect on a much deeper level

People are going to either like you or not, you might as well find your truest connections by being your truest self.

We are human.

We all struggle.

Stop denying the struggle and start addressing it. Stop trying to control other people’s opinion of you by being someone you’re not.

Be you.

It feels so amazing!

It’s what I do on a daily basis, not just for me but for all of my beautiful clients. There is nothing more rewarding than watching people work on their problems and start living the life they were meant to live.

With a big proud smile on their face 😃

I am learning how to be me and helping you let go of your created you so you, and others, can embrace Your True You!

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My Awaken(YourTrue)You program teaches incredibly powerful women like yourself how to identify and live out your truth. How to believe in your success and boldly share it with the world. How to leave a legacy.

I offer a free call to anyone brave enough to take the steps of creating the life they were meant to live. It’s a call for you to decide if this work is for you or not. I believe it is.

Share this message with a friend who needs to hear it, for every woman willing to do the work of becoming her best self there will be thousands of others impacted by her journey.

This is my life, join me in my mission to save the world, one powerful woman at a time.

What Is Your Superpower?

First of all, I just want to tell you how passionate I am about the power of asking positive questions.

Most of us don’t ask questions that help our brains start looking for answers. Instead we stay stuck in confusion, telling ourselves we don’t know the answers.

One of my favorite questions to ask myself is “What would you do if you knew the answer, if you knew what to do?”

Then the brain starts searching, it starts doing it’s job.

So I ask the question and watch the brain start spitting out answers, sometimes I even just guess! It doesn’t matter, you just want your brain to get moving forward.

Now, back to the topic, what is your superpower, your inner genius?

This question came to me yesterday while I was walking Zeta. I noticed my brain wanted to seize up, it wanted to tell me that I didn’t have a superpower. Then I asked it the above question, “But what if you knew?”

All of a sudden my brain started spewing out data and I realized what my superpower is. My superpower is figuring things out. I love figuring things out and I’m really good at it, even better when I believe that it’s my superpower!

When I allowed myself to find examples of this my brain was a bit slow at the get go but as it picked up speed I just kept coming up with more evidence of my superpower. Even today my brain is giving me more evidence, I love it!

The reason this is so important for you, and me, is that this is a secret to seeing all of your past successes.

You will start to see your superpower to do things in your life, and in the lives of others.

You can then look at your current life to see if you are utilizing your superpower to it’s fullest ability.

Most often we are not.

At this point we can start being curious about unleashing this superpower – what would that look like in your life?

Lastly, you can start asking how you can optimize that superpower in your future.

How will your superpower allow you to actualize your most successful self who daily lives out their life fulfilling purpose?

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My Awaken(YourTrue)You program teaches incredibly powerful women like yourself how to identify and live out your truth. How to believe in your success and boldly share it with the world. How to leave a legacy.

I offer a free call to anyone brave enough to take the steps of creating the life they were meant to live. It’s a call for you to decide if this work is for you or not. I believe it is.

Share this message with a friend who needs to hear it, for every woman willing to do the work of becoming her best self there will be thousands of others impacted by her journey.

This is my life, join me in my mission to save the world, one powerful woman at a time.

How I Help You Actualize Your Dreams

As I write this post I am on a plane to Plano, Texas. It was exactly one year ago, to the month, that I left Plano to embark on a new life journey.

You see I had been living my dream job.

For thirty years I got to work in the lives of literally thousands of beautiful people. Coaching athletes to live out their own dreams in the athletic sports health and wellness industry.

That dream had been put on my heart while I was an athletic trainer in high school.

Laughed at when I spoke this dream out loud, told I was way too smart for that, I followed the footsteps of my dad, diving into the world of Chemical Engineering.

My heart told me this wasn’t me.

Then I took the exit ramp off that highway and decided to step into the world of journalism and graphic design, both still loves of my life, yet insecurity had planted it’s seed deep in my soul. I never truly allowed myself to bloom fully into this field. (Can I just say that it’s made me so happy that this passion has been able to continue on with me throughout all of what I’ve done. This makes my heart shine so much!)

Life happened, I got laid off, and I found myself desperate to make money so I ended up, basically, where I originally dreamed of being.

Yet it still never felt right.

I always felt like I was under actualizing my capability, I was smarter than this.

I never fully allowed myself to absorb the magical life I had fallen into.

Insecurity, thoughts of being smarter than this, of not being fully worthy settled in yet deeper.

For thirty more years.

I literally did my best to destroy myself, never good enough, never allowing myself the joy I deserved.

I struggled to find true happiness in my life.

Then I discovered life coaching. This created a huge curiosity within my soul. Was this my next chapter?

I applied the principles.

I got myself coached.

My life changed.

A LOT.

I started to feel myself get set free.

This was so beautiful I could not keep it to myself.

It set my world on fire.

Now, one year later, as I head to my Mastermind in Plano, Texas, I can say that my life is shining.

I can say I’m smart, really smart.

I can say I am amazing, truly amazing.

I can say I absolutely LOVE what I do, 1000 (thousand) percent!

I can say I am grateful because now I REALLY get to help people blow up their life.

Not just through health and wellness and succeeding as an athlete but in EVERY area of their life.

You.

I see you.

I love you.

I want to show you how to make YOUR life shine.

It is 100% possible!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

A Story Of An Eagle’s Transformation

There is something majestically intriguing about the American Bald Eagle, for me it is their calm powerfulness. They provide an example of supreme power that does not carry an ounce of pride. It has solid self confidence.

The day before my Summer Retreat Two: Bloom, I was outside, next to the lake working on my computer when I felt his presence. His shadow enveloped me as he passed overhead. As I looked up to see what that power that I felt was, I saw him fly over the trees to my right, make a u-turn and then dive down 30 feet in front of me. He effortlessly grabbed large fish out of the water and proceeded to fly, skimming the water, across the lake to land on the opposite bank and consume his lunch.

I just stood in fascination as I watched him.

This week I read a story about how eagles go through a “midlife transformation” around thirty years of age. The story told of how in order to live on they had to retreat to a mountain top, sit on it’s nest, while going through a process of plucking out it’s beak, talons and feathers. If they are able to go through this process and survive, the story tells about how they will live another 30-40 years.

This story completely intrigued me, compelling me to write about it and how it compares to the work I am doing in both my life and the lives of my clients. I was excited to be able to use this story as a source of encouragement in our own transformation processes.

A story of renewal, of dropping our old past life story, your self creation, and re-writing your story, transforming your entire life into one of fulfillment and purpose.

I was a bit disappointed to discover that the story is a fallacy but with it, true or false, I was still able to pull out some incredible wisdom.

Wisdom in that we can go through a transformation process that doesn’t require us to do anything to our outward physical bodies.

Wisdom in that for true transformation to occur we do need to separate ourselves, go to the mountaintop, so we can look deep down inside at who we have become and why.

Wisdom in that this journey does bring us life. True transformation allows us to let go and change the thoughts that are keeping us from growing into our true self.

Wisdom in that our transformation changes us from the inside and as that change flourishes, it also changes us on the outside.

The eagle’s transformation story is a myth but your transformation story doesn’t need to be.

I am writing my truth and sharing it with the world because I want the world to know that they too can write their own truth.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

How To End Your Power Struggle With Food

I have been on an interesting journey with food and today I am going to share a bit of my journey. I am sharing it because I want to bring hope to others who struggle with food and through my years of coaching athletes, I know that it’s a lot of you.

To begin, often times when I ask people if they struggle with food, if food has any power over them, I often get a mixed response. Some will say yes. Some will say no. Some cry out in the pain of their struggle. Yet as the conversation moves forward even those who stated that food had no power over them have discovered the truth, that it does.

Food has control over your mind when there is a whisper to go eat something and you can’t say no.

Food has control over your mind when you can’t sit down to relax without the need to include something to eat.

Food has control over you if you eat food that you made an agreement with yourself not to eat.

Can’t drive by the coffee shop without wanting to stop for a coffee? Where is your power in that moment?

Food doesn’t have power over you only when you wight more than your natural body weight. There are so many of us at, or close, to our natural body weight, maybe even below, who still have a controlling relationship with food.

My relationship with food goes way back to my early childhood developing into a disordered eating habit. This disordered eating revolved around control and resistance, wanting to look a certain way so that people would love me.

I’m not going to get into the deep complexity of my journey but am sharing that because most people have seen me as having massive control around food. Control I had, lots and lots of CONTROL.

In the past year I have been massively applying the principles I teach my stop overeating clients in an effort to truly experience their journey. To be able to teach from a place of sympathy and compassion for what they struggle with is what I am achieving. I am becoming an example of what is possible for everyone.

As I do this work, as I peel back the layers of mind opening acknowledgements, I move closer and closer to a state of complete freedom around food. As I do this work my mind is becoming free, free to spend energy on creating a more fulfilling life for myself and for my clients.

My process works like no other process you have tried to achieve this freedom.

My process works like no other process, but only if you’re willing to put in the work. It’s not easy but it is mind blowing, life changing and radically effective.

It is my belief that here in America, we have a food problem and the solution isn’t in controlling food, it’s in controlling your mind.

The prompt for writing about this came from one of my recent experiences, actually just a few days ago. It was a Sunday afternoon, I was getting ready to go to my brother’s cabin for a week. The day was beautifully playing itself out, until right before I hit the road. Jeff and I were enjoying an early dinner together when it came to me that we should’ve bought a dessert to share.

That was the just the beginning of a long, two hour battle, with my brain.

At that point my brain was driven to have me stop somewhere to get a treat. It was fully justifying every option I passed, I was heading to the cabin, of course you need a treat! My brain was fighting hard. It kept tugging me to pull over and it was determined to win.

At about ninety minutes in I couldn’t help but marvel at how many times I had allowed the urge, watched it dissipate and then BAM, it was right back in my brain.

I spent most of the drive watching my brain, like watching two toddlers in the back seat, lying, kicking, screaming, justifying.

I’m happy to say I won.

The long drive gave me the opportunity to really watch how this all can play out. I allowed myself to watch the play by play of taking the time to pull over, telling myself I’d only eat part of it, but of course eating it all. Possibly even purchasing more for the week, because who doesn’t relax at the cabin with treats?

The food is so powerful!

That is a lie, the power is in you. You have the power to reject the brain’s desire to seek pleasure at your own expense.

You are fighting with your brain, not with the food.

So stop giving your power to the chips, the fancy coffee, the dessert, the second serving, the food after the meal, whatever it is that is calling you into another battle.

You are stronger than the food.

Doing this work teaches you how to re-train your brain out of these old self taught habits.

Every step forward is a step forward.

Every step back should be taken as a learning experience that propels you two steps forward.

If you you live a life chained to the power of food, it’s time to start releasing the chains, I’ve got the hammer and the chisel!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Living Every Moment Like You Know The Final Winning Score

The other day I was thinking about our life in comparison to watching a football game that was pre-recorded. Maybe a game like the Vikings playoff game against the Saints in January of 2018 where Stefon Diggs makes the miracle touchdown catch. One we didn’t get to watch live but knew the results because EVERYONE was talking about it.

As you watch the game that you pre-recorded you might be screaming and yelling when those Vikings were behind. You might even quit watching because it seems, yet again, that the Vikings are going to lose another playoff game.

Then you remember what the final score is in the game and you’re all excited again, patiently waiting for that famous play.

This was making me think about our life and knowing the final result. For us believers, the end of our story is already written. We have won.

Yet in the middle of our problem we often forget this fact. Sometimes we want to just give up.

When we stop and remember that we know the final score we can choose love.

We can choose love in the middle of any of our problems because it’s not a story with a happy ending – it’s a story with no ending.

We know the never ending life we live is a story of never ending love.

We know we can choose love, even in the middle of the storm, because in the end, when we step into eternity the game is already won.

Love always wins.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.