Stop Avoiding Your Lover

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“You are cold-hearted and non-emotional, I’m tired of being ignored! I am always the one who has to plan our time together, obviously, you don’t care enough to put any energy into our relationship.”

Deb has had it, she just wishes Jack would change. She is full of resentment and tired of fighting against him. Instead of coming up with solutions, Deb starts finding ways to get away from her husband as a form of punishment. Punishment because she isn’t actually enjoying the activities she chooses to participate in, instead she is using them against Jack hoping that he’ll change.

One of the most common actions my clients take when they are experiencing some sort of negative emotion like resentment, fear, confusion, anger, resignation is avoidance. They decide to start “doing things for themselves” but not actually enjoying their time, they aren’t using the time to grow, explore and connect with themselves. Imagine this; you want to get in shape, like build some shoulders, glutes, and have a 6 pack but working out just doesn’t work for you. So instead you watch workout videos, athletic events, collect workout plans, apps, equipment but none of this gets you any closer to your vision, it actually moves you further from your vision. You are avoiding the actual work of it.

Let’s dig into the why of your avoidant actions.

Resentment has us wanting and expecting our partners to take care of our needs. We want them to do all of the things that will make us feel loved and connected because somewhere along the line, we learned that other people’s actions determine how we feel. “Make mommy happy by cleaning up your room,” “I’d feel so much better if you told me you loved me.”, “Give grandpa a kiss goodbye, so you don’t hurt his feelings.” Pay attention to other people’s conversations, pay attention to the conversation in your own head and notice how true it is; as you start to see the prevalence of this behavior, you can start deciding if you like it or not.

Let’s take a look at what it is you do when you are feeling resentment, fear, confusion, anger, resignation in your romantic relationship. Let me guess about some actions you might be taking:

  • Avoid
  • Blame
  • Complain
  • Expect them to change
  • Don’t proactively plan activities together
  • You spend more time at work
  • Go out with your friends more than usual
  • Search for things to do that you haven’t done for yourself in years, but not for enjoyment sake – out of resentment
  • Spend money on things that don’t matter for a temporary “feel good”
  • Maybe you eat more than you’d like
  • Have a drink or two more because that might get you in the mood of having a good time with your partner

Can you see how every single one of these actions are a form of avoidance? All of these actions have you changing into someone your spouse might not want to be with AND further away from someone YOU want to be with! It gets you further from your goal of creating an intimate relationship, both with yourself and your partner.

So what’s in the way?

You. Yep, I typed that correctly. You are in your own way of getting what you want in your relationship. You are waiting for them to do the things you want them to do which gives them all of the control in your relationship and in how you feel. Boo! That won’t work for you my friend, trust me I’ve tried it, all it does is get you further from exactly what you want, which is lots of love.

Now what?

Now it’s time to start digging into all of the reasons you want them to do these things. We actually uncovered that in the story of Deb and Jack’s relationship, she wants him to make her feel good. Deb gives Jack all of her emotional power in their relationship, Jack feels manipulated if he abides by her demands without feeling honoring and Deb ends up losing herself in the process.

The first step Deb needed to take is becoming aware of this simple fact. We do this exact thing in so many of our relationships, we are expecting them to act a certain way, over and over and over again. We wonder why we’re getting so frustrated, the whole time forgetting how to fill ourselves up all on our own. When we keep expecting our love to come from an outside source we are always craving our next fix, looking for that next hit of pleasure outside of ourselves. These outside pleasures leave us empty, maybe overweight, hungover and sad.

To turn the cycle around, you will want to start taking care of your mental health; you’ll want to take your power back and start working on how you will find joy for yourself. You may ask why you should do that; you thought that’s what marriage was, your partner providing you with the love and support you need, that my friend is a lofty ask for anyone and quite dangerous. That will have your partner all weak and not themselves, continually trying to make you happy. That is a lose-lose situation for both of you. It’s time to let go of your manuals, start practicing emotional adulthood, and start nurturing that dried up love seed that you’ve unknowingly been neglecting.

The good news is this; when Deb started taking her focus off of Jack she started feeling so much better, she felt empowered, satisfied, responsible, and joyous which led her to start opening up in conversation with Jack. She doesn’t need him to fill up her joy tank because she is learning how to do that all by herself. Now Jack gets to be himself while she gets to enjoy her best life to date. Deb has learned how to Awaken her true self!

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“

Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life-changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

Know someone hurting in their relationships? If you think they might benefit from hearing this message please share this article with them. You might be the one who leads them to their best life.

Don’t forget to join my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself and never miss another post, get yourself signed up for my newsletter!

Relationship Buffering

🎧 Prefer to listen to the audio version? Click here!

This week I want you to look at all of your past love relationships to see if you can find a common thread. Is your common thread that they start out high energy, highly pleasurable, high doses and quantities of dopamine shots? Many relationships start out this way, similar to the effects we get from food, alcohol, drugs, spending money; you get a relationship love hit and it feels so good you keep going back for more. Eventually, your relationship can’t sustain that type of energy and when those dopamine hits start to fade away it’s like an addict who can’t get their fix, they start looking for something new to create that same feeling.

Maybe you’ve been in and out of so many relationships you’ve decided to settle, but your brain still wants that rush of pleasure so you start looking for the fix elsewhere. You start avoiding the relationship that you want more from, the one you’re unwilling to give in. Working on love feels uncomfortable and awkward while your partner seems unwilling to do any work to make it better so, why bother?

Upon reflection, many of my clients also see this pattern in other areas of their life besides in their love life. They find themselves seeking the high of feeling better through other external actions like eating, binging, over-drinking, spending money on temporary feel-goods, pornography, other relationships, exercise, body improvements, anything that makes them feel better temporarily while avoiding the root of their problem. Chasing but never finding lasting fulfillment.

Today we’re going to take a look inside the life of one of my clients, for the sake of anonymity I’ll name her Michelle.

Michelle grew up with what she called a tattered relationship with both of her parents. Michelle was full of resentment stemming primarily from the thought that she didn’t receive the love and nurturing she needed, especially as a child.

Michelle constantly sought love outside of herself, including getting involved in relationships where she did things that were not her typical modes of operation, actions against her integrity, in an effort to fit in and please. In an effort to feel the love in reciprocation of her acts.

When Michelle looked back over her life, in particular at her love relationships, she discovered that she was always seeking some sort of high out of her relationships, she was addicted to the feeling she got at the onset. Michelle thought this was what love was. Eventually, the relationship would fall into a pattern of her not feeling the love; she’d get bored and blame it on her partner.

Michelle’s typical response would be to end the relationship so that her partner couldn’t hurt her by leaving her and move on, looking for someone else, someone more exciting. Michelle also noticed several other similar behaviors that created responses she could control – drug use, overeating, binging with over-exercising mixed in, over-drinking, spending money on things that provided a temporary good feeling.

Michelle decided she was tired of where her life was going. She felt stuck in a cycle, knowing that there had to be something better than what she was experiencing. Stuck in her current relationship, she decided to do something different. She decided to start figuring out the root of her problem and see if she could resurrect her love relationship with the person she was with.

To begin Michelle started working on herself, this included work around healing her past and reconciling what was happening in her addictive behavior characteristics. She wanted to figure out how to feel good on her own, end her self destructive behavior, stop escaping and start feeling it all instead of resisting.

She told her current partner that she was beginning a journey of self-discovery, of sorting out issues that she had been long repressing and pretending weren’t a big deal. She told him that she loved him and was committed to their relationship but wanted some time to create a relationship she had been neglecting her whole life – the one with herself.

As Michelle did this work she began seeing her life through new lenses. She started creating relationships out of existing relationships that she now fully enjoys just as they are. Re-writing her past into a beautiful story of strength and power has helped her more clearly see her life purpose. She sees that the joy she had been seeking outside of herself was always there for her to access, planted inside of her and now she is on the journey of nurturing it into life. Through all of this work Michelle has been doing, her relationship with her partner is blooming again, daily doing the work of creating a love relationship where love sticks around.

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“

Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life-changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

Know someone hurting in their relationships? If you think they might benefit from hearing this message please share this article with them. You might be the one who leads them to their best life.

Don’t forget to join my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself and never miss another post, get yourself signed up for my newsletter!

AwakenYou, Before And After

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One of my favorite morning routines in the summer is taking my dog for a walk. I love watching the scene of our consistent morning path transform as we emerge from winter into spring, summer, fall, and back again. There is a spot on our walk where dozens of baby thorn sprouts have grown into a massive thorn thicket, heights of which surpass mine. Every day as we pass this mature thorn thicket I think about the pain that would be inflicted upon oneself if traveling by on a bicycle that jumps off course into this mass of prickers, I know, tragic. One day as I approached the thicket I saw something that captured my attention and drew me in. A beautiful dragonfly amidst the thorns. Her contentment sent my mind a-wandering. A wandering about life before, during, and after its awakening.

A fun side note about what I found as I wandered and wondered about the dragonfly amidst the thorns: a band called The Thorns who have recorded a song called Dragonfly, what?! Go take a listen, after reading this of course.

Life before AwakenYou

Most of us feel at the effect of our world. We have an inner desire to do more, to be more, to move out of the thorn bush that keeps pricking and piercing us. We get mad at the thorns, we blame them for where we are and why we keep getting stuck in the same crummy situations.

Relationship after relationship in the bliss of what is, yet held back from what could be. We push, or get pushed, into the prickers and then bounced into bliss, thinking this will be the time things change. It will be better this time around, I’ll remember the beauty amidst the thorns.

Eventually, the game gets old, we realize we are powerless to change on our own. We’re over the struggle and have seen evidence that others have found something better, something different. We used to think it was just perfect matches, matches that weren’t meant for our life, two dragonflies who have figured out how to maneuver the thorns.

Wait, we remember someone talking about changing their life and how that changed their relationship with their partner. They heard this odd story about creating the love life of their dreams without the other partner’s willing participation. Who was that? Where did she see that?

The thought slips away and life returns back to the same old same old, but then she sees a post, reads an email, searches for help, and her mind delivers a message.

During

She had tried couples counseling, individual counseling, and made some strides toward freedom but she kept getting drawn into the same old same old. She asked herself if there was really any hope, was she destined to live a sad life? She wanted and thirsted for something different, she wanted to break this cycle. She didn’t want to move somewhere else because she had done that enough with the same results. Then she remembered that life coach who had talked about something different, she was ready.

After

Transformed. Everything transformed. No longer was the mass of thorns a threat but a beautiful retreat that had her back. She saw every thorn in her life and what she had made it mean.

Unworthy, unlovable, unsatisfied, shameful, guilty, unsuccessful, dirty, ordinary, cold, weak.

She realized she had been living a life of lies, that the true story of the thorns was beautifully different.

Worthy, lovable, satisfied, willing, honest, successful, brand new, unique, beautiful, warm, loving, tough, smart.

Now seeing the beauty and purpose in the thorns of her life, she was able to sit proudly amidst the thorns knowing they couldn’t hurt her, only she had the power to do that. She knew her power wasn’t in escaping the thorns but loving them for what they were, always knowing the way out but no longer seeing the need.

When you look at the dragonfly amidst the thorns, what do you see? I see the beautiful mystery of nature and ask myself what it is teaching me. Is the dragonfly crazy or is it smart? It all depends on your perspective, that perspective will determine the outcome in your life. We can always change our surroundings but until we see our surroundings for what they really are; until we can love and appreciate them, new surroundings will eventually be like the dragonfly at the effect of the thorns instead of in the presence and protection of the thorns.

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“

Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life-changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

Know someone hurting in their relationships? If you think they might benefit from hearing this message please share this article with them. You might be the one who leads them to their best life.

Don’t forget to join my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself and never miss another post, get yourself signed up for my newsletter!

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

🎧 Prefer to listen to the audio version? Click here!

The evil Queen asks the famed question yet another day, “Who is the fairest one of all?” The mirror’s response enflames her with jealousy and anger, the Queen MUST be the fairest of all! We all know the story of how the evil Queen’s jealousy drives her to take actions that eventually lead to her demise and death. The evil Queen’s reign ends while Snow White is revived by the Prince, who breaks the spell that put her into a deep sleep.

As I worked through a recent teaching I created on Repairing Relationships, the story of the evil Queen and her mirror came to my mind. I thought about the queen and how we are so similar, creating a false image for all to see, every morning wondering if the world will accept this facade. Thinking about the Queen, I let myself imagine who she really might have been without her mask. How much different her life could have ended had she worked through my AwakenYou coaching program.

Today I want to take you on a journey through the mirror to see who really lives on the other side.

What would the Queen have seen if she had looked through the mirror to the other side?

Maybe one day the Queen wakes up after her husband the King dies and is tired of the struggle. The Queen is tired of being on edge about what the mirror might say when she asks the famed question. The Queen wants to ditch the mirror, put on her own beautiful style of clothes, do her hair the way she loves and go run in the meadow with her stepdaughter.

The evil Queen is tired of being angry, jealous, suspicious, alone, and controlling. She knows she has more to give but is afraid of what everyone would think if she started working with a life coach. She thinks it would make her look weak, like a fake, unworthy of ruling the kingdom and finding a new loving partner who might take over her spotlight.

She reads a few blogs, puts some of the suggestions into action but is still angry, every morning getting up and asking the mirror it’s opinion even though she tries hard to resist. As she smashes the mirror and rushes to the dungeon to mix up a potion that will end Snow White’s threat, something causes her to pause. She remembers that the mirror’s words are simply a circumstance and that she is creating this pain that she no longer wants to feel. Instead of going to the dungeon, she head’s into the library, logs on to her laptop to book a consultation with the life coach she’s been following.

Powerful and strong, the Queen is all in on creating a life that feels so much better than what she has been living, she joins the coaches program and dedicates her time to building a different life for herself. She wants to shed the costume she puts on every day, she wants to step through the mirror and reveal the woman she has always wanted to be.

She commits to doing the work every morning because she’s one intelligent Queen, she knows that when she sets her mind on something she can make things happen. This work opens her up to everything she’s tried to hide but the more she does the work the more magical her life becomes. She starts seeing her true beauty without having to ask the mirror. When she gives in to the old urge to ask the mirror it’s opinion, she notices she doesn’t feel the old pain. She can confidently admit that her step-daughter Snow White is indeed stunning, that her beauty doesn’t diminish her own beauty, and sees that she is starting to create an amazing relationship with Snow White.

When she sees Snow White interacting with the handsome Prince, she asks curious questions to engage Snow White, building trust and closeness. Eventually, she gets to meet the Prince and encourages the relationship while actively dedicated to creating a kingdom where love and peace rule throughout the land. A kingdom she eventually hands over to the Prince and his bride, Snow White, who she sincerely believes is the fairest one of all and where she hires a coach for all seven of the dwarves, even happy because no one should be happy ALL of the time!

Indeed, a happily ever after story. A story of letting go of control over what other people think and do while opening yourself up to a better life than had ever been thought possible. Being able to start stepping through the mirror while leaving our mask on the other side, we start living a life where we create the love we want, and our life starts giving abundant love back to us.

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“

Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life-changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

Know someone hurting in their relationships? If you think they might benefit from hearing this message please share this article with them. You might be the one who leads them to their best life.

Don’t forget to join my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself and never miss another post, get yourself signed up for my newsletter!

Minding Your Own Business

🎧 Prefer to listen to the audio version? Click here!

I have found myself getting in the most trouble relationally when I’m in other people’s business, and it happens way more often than I care to admit. My mind loves to make up stories about what they are doing and why they are doing it, which often turns me into one defensive bugger, capiche? If you do, then welcome because that’s what I’m digging into today.

If you have ever made up stories about what our partner is doing, why they are doing it, and how they should be doing it differently instead of minding our own business, then read on my lovely! Today I share why we do this, how it is limiting us, as well as our relationship, and how we can start letting go of being in everyone else’s business.

How we get into other people’s business.

I’m going to get started by sharing some examples as well as what you might be making their words or actions mean. These may, or may not, be examples out of my own self-coaching journals πŸ˜‰.

  1. You are quietly doing your morning self-coaching, and hubby comes up and asks if you’d like to eat breakfast outside.
  2. You’re preoccupied with things that went on during your workday, and your partner says, “You seem a bit bugged.”
  3. He’s sitting on the couch watching his favorite sports team when there is obviously work to be done.
  4. She pours herself a drink before your quiet time together.
  5. Your co-worker asked you to call a customer back to answer their questions.
  6. Your bestie didn’t send you happy birthday wishes on your birthday.
  7. Your neighbor didn’t wave at you as you drove by and waved at them.

Believe it or not, these are all neutral circumstances that could be happening in your life or mine; what we commonly do is attach meaning to these neutral circumstances. As an exercise, I’d love for you to come up with some of your neutral circumstances that happened in your day today or yesterday.

What are you making their words or actions mean?

I have been asked this question so many times by coaches that I now understand what to look for when asked. The first few times I was asked this question I was a bit confused as are my clients when I first ask it of them. The question seems a bit tricky, like “What do you mean what am I making it mean?” All this question is asking is that you uncover the story you are making up in your mind about the circumstances. Let’s look at some possibilities around the above examples.

  1. You make it mean that he is suggesting you stop doing what you are doing and get making breakfast. Rude.
  2. You make it mean that he thinks you’re mad at him for something. He’s so selfish!
  3. You make it mean that he isn’t interested in helping out with household chores.
  4. You make it mean that she needs alcohol to be able to enjoy time with you.
  5. You make it mean that this task is below her, that your time isn’t valuable.
  6. You make it mean that they aren’t a very good friend.
  7. You make it mean that they don’t like you.

Granted, you might not believe that you are making up a story, you may 100% believe that your story is true but how then is that story you’re telling serving you? How is that story making you feel? How is your story making you show up? My guess; probably not the way you want to show up as a partner, a friend, a co-worker, a neighbor. What are you thinking?

Why?

Next, I want you to ask yourself this question; I want you to ask yourself this: why are you choosing the story you are telling yourself? This is another question that results in funny facial expressions, you know the one, the “What are you talking about?” look. It’s ok; I remember that look, the one that says, “Come on, you know why I’m thinking that!” Often, we have ideas of how other people should show up in our lives; we have manuals for them. We want them to do things the way we think they should so that we can feel better. If they did something different, what we wanted and expected them to do, it would give us validation. There we are again, wanting someone else to validate us.

Here’s the complex observation I have made in my own life though, when they show up differently, I often STILL think they should be doing it differently! So confusing, do you agree? So what can we do to feel better?

Mind your own business.

Capiche? Keep your thoughts focused on you because we have no idea what is going on in the other person’s model. We have no idea why they are doing what they are doing; in fact, we could come up with some reason that are opposite of what we are making it mean!

Spending our time and energy trying to change other people so we can feel better is something we spend way too much time on. Time we could be spending enjoying our self-coaching, grateful our partners care about how we’re doing and relaxing after work. We could make pouring a drink mean a desire to drink. We could make our coworker’s request mean that we’re really good at customer service. We could make it mean that our bestie just forgot and be the one to reach out to share your love. We could make our neighbors’ actions mean nothing about us and everything about what is going on for them in their life.

Minding our own business and sorting out what is going on inside of us is some of the best work we will ever do, it allows us to show up as our authentic selves while allowing others to do the same. Minding our own business will enable us to be who we are while letting others be who they are and loving them for all of it. I’d love for you to get curious about how you might be meddling in other people’s business by asking yourself these questions, letting go of what you’re making things mean and working on just being the person you want to be. I’d love to hear your thoughts as you implement this work and as always, let me know what you’re struggling with!

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“

Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life-changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

Know someone hurting in their relationships? If you think they might benefit from hearing this message please share this article with them. You might be the one who leads them to their best life.

Don’t forget to join my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself and never miss another post, get yourself signed up for my newsletter!

Other People’s Opinions

🎧 Prefer to listen to the audio version? Click here!

Today I want to talk about the upside of exploring and being open to other people’s opinions. I’d like to have some fun with how being curious about what other people think might help us to create deeper connections with others while expanding and enriching our own opinions.

As I was thinking about what I wanted to talk about around the topic of other people’s opinions I decided to search “opinions” on my podcast app. This search came up with all sorts of interesting podcasts, three that had the exact same title I had come up with when I wrote down the idea for this post. After listening to a couple of these podcasts, I’d like to clarify that today’s message won’t be about how other people’s opinions of us don’t matter. It won’t be about how we get to choose who we want to be. It won’t be about how I highly encourage everyone to drop all of their concerns about what others think of them and to fully live their life out loud and real. While I am in love with that version of other people’s opinions, I talk about it often and will most certainly visit it again, that’s not where we will be going in this post.

Being open to someone else’s opinion even when you might not agree with them.

I’d like to use a recent example from one of my teachers, Gay Hendricks. As I went through one of his courses, I discovered that he is no longer a Christian and he briefly explains why. As a Christian myself, I felt a bit of resistance when his belief came up because I had been deeply enjoying the course and his concepts. I felt a tug of fear that his beliefs might convince me of his argument against Christianity and at the same time, I questioned whether I would be able to fully embrace the full course if I disagreed with his opinion. I felt this resistance and allowed myself to open up to what he had to say, to listen with an open mind and to question it all. I questioned his belief, as well as mine, then I allowed myself to watch what happened. As time passed I was able to continue to visit both perspectives and it opened me up to something truly beautiful. God used Gay’s words to enrich my current life, to deepen my connection with Jesus, and to set my mission on fire.

Had I chosen to close my mind to Gay’s teaching strictly because of his religious beliefs, I would have not only missed a deepening of my own faith but also would have lost an incredible learning experience from his course. I bought his course to deepen my relationship with myself, shutting my mind to him because of his opinion would have shut my mind to learning. Being open to his opinion not only taught me so much about how to better love myself, but it also deepened my relationship with my God and my experience of this life.

Being honest

Many of us are people pleasers, attempting to make other people happy so they will like us. What that means for us is that we might lie about what we believe or about our indifference, in an attempt to make others feel good and like us. We might agree when we don’t agree or we might pretend to know something when we don’t. We conform. I want to highly encourage you to be honest with yourself and others. If you don’t know what they are talking about, be curious, ask questions, be ok with not knowing, and wanting to understand. If you have your own opinion share it honestly, open up the conversation to curiosity, see what you might learn from each other. Don’t be afraid of weakening your current opinion, continual exploration will better solidify your current belief or educate you into a belief that feels right for you, which may, or may not be similar to your surrounding peoples’.

Learn

Being open to other people’s opinions allows you to connect with others in a deeper way, you get to talk about things that matter instead of boring things that really don’t matter.

Being open to other people’s opinions allows you to broaden your mind, to think things that you might not have thought about had you not opened yourself up to the conversation.

Being open to other people’s opinions allows you to come up with some of your own new opinions by taking what you already know, or didn’t know, combining it with someone else’s perspective and coming up with your own unique twist on it all. It will prompt you to schedule time to self educate on the subject to help reinforce, or change, your current opinion.

Today I want to challenge you to get uncomfortable in a conversation and of course since we are working on that love relationship, why not start with them? How might you be just agreeing with them instead of being curious about expressing your own belief? What might they think of you if you actually started speaking from your heart, with your own mind? Maybe that’s what you’re worried about, that they might not like you now, and what if they don’t? That my friend is the topic of discussion for the other article about other people’s opinions!

How can you question from a place of curiosity instead of defensiveness?

Can you simply ask why when they present something that makes you wonder?

I want to encourage you to learn something new about your partner, in the process you might also learn something about you.

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

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Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life-changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

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