Steps To Walk Through Your Depression

I’m going to start this off stating that depression is a serious thing. The “tackling depression” tactics that I am going to talk about today can be applied to any type of depression, yet there are individual cases where depression is truly dark. 


I’m talking dark, as in no light. 


You yourself will want to take the steps to be able to recognize what your depression looks like for you. You may want to seek the guidance of a medical professional who can help you sort through a possible need for a medication program to help you sort through your journey. 


Yet, even if your journey is truly that dark, I want you to know that there absolutely is hope. There is beautiful light on the other side of the valley you are currently walking through. 


I promise this. 


Just waiting for it to end could be a way of processing but seeking guidance out of love and compassion for yourself is the shortest path through to the other side. 

It is the most beautiful path as well.


When we work through whatever is bringing us down we always discover something new about ourselves.

When we just wait for it to pass, just keep trudging on, in my experience, there isn’t much discovery in the process.

This week has been one of those weeks for me. 


It actually feels foreign. 


This thought alone gives me relief. Depression was a way of life for me in the past, I used to drag it around like a heavy sled. I know, who knew, I truly was the masquerade master.

Experiencing it now is actually opening up for me the reality that I have cut loose so many ties to that sled. 


My norm now is freedom, so thank you depression for opening up my eyes to this truth.


How I am handling the depression is also different. Let me share how.

Become curious about what is happening for you.

For me the art of being curious about why this is actually occurring in my body is an interesting process. The old me would have ignored it, pushed it into the corner and put something fancy and falsely beautiful in front of it, hello facade. 


This week I have been holding it in my hands, being kind and compassionate towards it, allowing it to express itself yet not prohibit me from moving forward with my days. 

This in of itself feels so much better. More expansive. Less tight and uncomfortable. The knowledge not that I never will experience depression again, but that I now have the tools to process it. To use it as information for what is happening for me in the moment.

Use The Model to help you see what is happening for you.

This tool helps you with the awareness I shared above. It helps you to see what might be happening for you. It helps you to sort through the messiness your brain is presenting to you. It helps you to see some truth and allow you to move forward while accepting that this is a part of your current journey.

The model is also a tool that will help you see the result you are getting with whatever thoughts your brain is giving to you, this then gives you the option of choosing a different thought. A different thought will get you a different result.

Listen up.

This is not about faking it by ignoring what is happening for you. This is about choosing thoughts that will work for you.

Let me share an example by sharing a bit of my thought downloads from the week.

“This stinks. My life is miserable. I don’t have time for this. I can’t do this. I’ll never get this done. I should just give this up. I should just stay in bed. Maybe I’ll just take the day off. I am strong. I can handle anything. This is perfect. This is happening. This won’t beat me. Hello brain, I see what you’re doing. This is happening and I don’t like it. Maybe I need more caffeine. I should go take a nap. Of course this is happening.”

If I were to stay with the thought that “I can’t do this” it would make me feel defeated causing me to complain, ruminate, feel sorry for myself, beat myself up, etc, creating a result of not getting anything done. Perfect evidence for the thought “I can’t do this.”

Instead I chose the thought “I can handle anything”, this makes me feel strong, this propels me forward to do my tasks and honor my commitments, to hold my funk in a place of compassion and curiosity but not let it control me, love myself and share my journey instead of hide or fake it, be curious about what is happening, the result I get from this new thought is I completely handle my commitments and my funk.

Lastly.

Share your journey with a friend.

Sharing it helps to heal it. Sometimes a friend doesn’t feel right and sometimes it just might be wrong. That’s where I come in. I’m the friend that cares and does more than just listen and then give you unsolicited advice. I listen. I show you your brain. I show you how to hold it in a place of compassion. I show you how to allow the discomfort without allowing it to consume you.

I help you walk through until you’re ready to set it free.

This my friends is beautiful.

This my friends is not faking it.

This allows you to travel through your experiences, negative and positive, from a place of curiosity, learning and growing along the way.

Friend, if you are in a dark season and want to know more about how to move through it from a place of compassion for yourself, I’d love to walk through with you. This doesn’t need to be an awful experience. Use it to grow, learn and love yourself.

I’m over here waiting for you.

My mission is you. Helping you become your true you. Let’s go!

I’m just an email away.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Why Avoiding Conflict Creates More Conflict & How To Get Good At Resolution

Conflict is a struggle, or opposition, of ideas or interests.

The conflict may just be within yourself or it may be with one or many other persons.

It’s possible that you are the only one aware of the conflict because you are avoiding bringing it out in the open. Maybe you are agreeing, apologizing or even accommodating the person you are in opposition to.

It’s possible you were never taught how to deal with conflict effectively. This can be true if you watched parents scream and yell at each other, never coming to resolution verses watching them sit down and discuss the struggle out loud and openly. Even the opposite can be true with one parent avoiding conflict by never addressing their struggles therefore again, never allowing you to witness healthy conflict resolution.

Healthy conflict resolution is something that is important for us to develop so that we can start cultivating more strong, trusting relationships with everyone in our life.

Here is how avoiding conflict can create more conflict:

  • You resisting what is going on by avoiding and not processing
  • You build up negative emotion
  • You don’t figure out how to clean up your thoughts

When we take the time to look at what is happening for us with any struggles or opposition we are having with someone it is healthy for us to do a few things:

Take a look at our thoughts, what is going on in our brain, by doing a thought download.

Look at how these thoughts are making us feel and then how these feelings are making us show up.

This will show us the result we are getting.

At this point we can decide whether we are wanting to change our thoughts so that we get a result that we want or not.

Possibly we do want to change our thoughts to get a result that we like, yet it’s also possible that we will want to talk to the other party and discuss what is going on for us.

The one thing you must always remember is no one else is in charge of your happiness, so the objective is not to control them by telling them how they need to act to make you feel good. 

That is your job.

Still, you may want to clarify what is happening for you.

Let me give you an example.

Let’s say you have a husband, I may or may not know of one, who has committed to dog sitting a puppy during time, two days to be exact, when you, that would be me, will be at home working and husband will be away from the home working.

I could get angry and just let it happen, maybe take it out a bit on said husband.

I could do a thought download and decide how I want to handle the situation out of love for myself.

Then make a decision as to what I’m going to do and be all in and in love with my choice

The latter is what I have chosen to do. The old me would have taken it out on husband from the time it was announced until who knows when.

With choosing the way I did, making the choice to think I am going to enjoy this little puppy, which makes me feel helpful, which allows me to take the action of planning my days so it works for me, loving the puppy, ask husband to clarify story of how this came about so that I fully understand scenario, ask husband to, in the future, please check with me before volunteering my time but also recognize that he may not follow through, decide how I will deal with the situation if it arises again.

If you are a conflict avoider like I used to be and would like to discover how to start feeling better about how you deal with the struggles that life will always present to you, then I would love to offer a free mini-session to help you feel some freedom. All you have to do is grab on to some courage and send me an email, the feeling of fear will vanish once you hit the send button.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Why You’re Feeling Like A Fraud

Imposter Syndrome, let’s start with a good old Google definition.

The persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.

Friends, listen up.

It does not matter what you do to create value in this world: full time (part time) moms, entrepreneurs, corporate partner, CEO, baristas, bank manager, doctor, nurse, police officer, fire fighter, teacher, professor, artist, yoga instructor, athlete, keynote speakers; anyone can experience imposter syndrome.

Let me share a story with you and get super vulnerable, again.

I launched On Track Training, which morphed into Team On Track, a highly successful coaching and sporting event promotion business, thirty years ago. Before people even knew what personal training was.

I spent most of those thirty years embarrassed of what I did. I told the story of how I was so much smarter than that. How went to school for Chemical Engineering then went into the School of Journalism and got a Graphic Design certificate, worked as a Graphic Designer before stepping into this role as an expert at transforming people’s lives. I was smart.

I still totally thought I was a fraud.

After all of the work I have done these past two years I shake my head at all of this because I know how much of a lie it was.

Thirty years!

I share that with you because those of you who know me from that business would never even guess that I felt this way.

Of course you wouldn’t, I had the outer facade game down!

I knew how to play the role of looking like I knew what I was doing.

Of course, now I know that I knew what I was doing, I knew well, I just didn’t have the self confidence needed to believe it.

In a nutshell imposter syndrome comes from us thinking that we’re just not enough, that soon someone is going to figure it out and call us out on it.

Probably even fire us, put us out on the street, unemployed, ruined and broke

It’s ok because there is a solution.

Once you build up your self worth.

Once you build up your self confidence.

Once you learn how to start loving yourself.

Once you start being willing to let people be wrong about you.

Once you stop rejecting yourself.

Once you become unwilling to reject yourself because of others who may reject you.

Once you step on this journey to discovering the true you and start stepping fully into that, the imposter syndrome slowly fades away into the distance.

Oh, your brain will want to remind you that you’re not good enough but you can’t blame it. You’ve spent your whole life conditioning it to believe this lie. No fear though, once you’ve done this work you will recognize the lie.

You will know how to love your brain for reminding you and then gently be able to tell it that it is wrong.

That you are no longer that person.

You are no longer going to allow yourself to listen to that lie.

The other thing I will tell you, you can put this all into The Thought Model, that the thought that you are an imposter is just that.

A thought.

Not a circumstance.

When you think that you’re an imposter it will generate a feeling of something like incompetence which is going to make you show up less than you truly are capable of showing up giving you the result of acting like an imposter.

It’s way better to just believe that you are completely qualified for what you are doing and feel confident. This will make you show up knocking it out of the park which creates the result of doing quality work.

If you are getting tired of fighting yourself. If you are tired of getting in your own way. If a solution to this problem sounds like hitting the lottery but better, then I would love to talk to you about my Awaken (The True) You program.

My program will take you from not fully being on board with yourself to being your best asset.

The impact this will have in your life is to give you the freedom you have been desperately yearning for.

You can book your free consult here or send me an email with some days and times that work for you, I’ll make one of them happen.

You can also get more help by getting my newsletter directly in your inbox, sign up today so you can start feeling better today.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Four Reasons Why You Aren’t Doing What You Want To Do

The old me would have told you that I just don’t get to do all of the things I want to do because I just didn’t have the time.

“I mean really, do you know what it’s like to own and run your own successful business?!?”

Funny thing is that after thirty years of running my own successful business and now launching a shiny, brand new version of that business, I totally DO get to do all of the things I want to do.

What’s different?

Well, it certainly isn’t because there are less things to do in this business. Yes, it is less multi-faceted, for right now, but I also don’t have a full time employee plus a handful of part-timers. It’s all me.

I am what is different.

Over the past two years I have been doing the work of changing my life around because I decided two years ago that I wanted my life to be different. I was tired of being happy but yet at the same time, being completely unhappy. I desperately knew something had to change or I would be living the rest of my life in misery and that my friends, sounded miserable.

The reason we don’t do what we want to do is because we are creating way too much drama in our life around all of the things.

So what is the reason we don’t do what we want to do? Well, here are just a few:

We are creating way too much drama in our life around all of the things.

  • We can’t stand ourselves
  • There isn’t enough time
  • There are too many things I HAVE to do
  • The kids…
  • The job…
  • We don’t have enough money

Once we learn how to manage our minds, magically all of the drama starts to disappear.

We don’t trust ourselves.

We tell ourselves, every day, how we’re going to do all of the things. We come up with these crazy plans to do them all and then at the end of the day, when most of them aren’t done, we beat ourselves up because we can’t figure this out.

We tell ourselves what a failure we are.

We think about all of the people who do have their drama tied up and packaged neatly with a bow and then start all over the next day.

This cycle of letting ourselves down over and over is like that friend that never shows up to the party. You don’t trust her to show up yet you still invite her.

This leads to the last reason.

We don’t know how to make a decision ahead of time and then follow through.

We haven’t learned how to just make a decision and move forward. We pride ourselves in “doing the research”, coming up with the laundry list of why it won’t work and then why it will. We pride ourselves in “doing the research”. So much so that we never even make a decision or by the time we do the opportunity is over or we just plain spent a whole lot of time and energy that could have been spent moving forward from a decision made earlier.

We are afraid to make a decision.

What I have learned is that making a quick decision feels completely amazing. It clears up my mind and allows me to start moving forward with all of my things. It’s possible I will discover it was the wrong decision. Totally cool, now I can move forward in a new direction, nothing lost and everything gained.

We want to do it perfectly.

Perfectionism is such a lie.

If you have been priding yourself on being a perfectionist, please stop.

Perfectionism is the reason we don’t move forward, it’s why people procrastinate.

Fear of not doing something perfectly.

I actually used to feel bad when I thought “who cares, at least it’s done”, I actually got pulled into perfectionism by thinking I wasn’t as good as those who claimed to be. Can you see how poor my self image and self trust was? This is so crazy to me now!

The book that totally released me from the perfectionism procrastination was Dan Sullivan’s “The 80% Approach”. Dan helped me to realize that I was putting my tasks off until the last minute and then truly only doing 80% work. Now I schedule the work, do it when I decided to do it and give it my 80%. Awesome. It propels me forward and allows me to schedule shorter future times in my schedule to do another 80% a few times over.

Now that’s pretty close to perfection, the easy way!

I actually could have WAY more than four reasons but for the sake of time I stopped here. My freedom program addresses them all!

If you are like I was and have a long list of things you want to do in this life but you’re not getting any of them done, then I would love to have a conversation with you. Let me share how I am helping other amazing high performers like yourself truly discover themselves and confidently step into living it out. Send me an email or go schedule your free session today. Let’s get this party started already!

Until we talk I send out a newsletter every week to help you do the work of feeling better in this life you’re living, go opt in today so you don’t miss a thing!

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Five Reasons Why Your Transformation Journey Isn’t Working

I coach women who want to transform their lives, women who want to achieve what seems impossible, women who want to send their careers soaring while having fun doing it.

I coach women change their story line from being the victim to being the hero.

Watching this journey is incredibly beautiful, like watching tightly bound peony bud blossom into full bloom, magical.

Though the journey is magical to watch it isn’t without it’s struggles. The process of changing deeply engrained patterns of the mind isn’t something you do with ease, it takes strength and persistence.

All of the years I worked with athletes I could tell the difference between those who would succeed in their goals and those who wouldn’t. The beautiful thing about what I do now is that I actually coach people on why they aren’t succeeding so even when they don’t succeed their brain still changes, even if it’s just a bit.

You have to be committed to doing the work to get the expected results. If you do some of the work you will see some results, they will come slower than when you take massive action and do all of the work. When you take massive action and do all of the work you will see massive results, guaranteed.

 Let’s get into some of the reasons your journey to becoming your next best version of you may not be working so that you can do some honest evaluation and, if you’re up for the work, start moving forward to your new amazing life.

You don’t believe this will work.

This is typically the first problem. This work is different from anything else you’ve ever done, it seems counterintuitive and a bit of what I call “mind bendy”.

This is because we have been thinking a certain way for most of our lives, changing those patterns takes work and repetition. Your brain is going to want to tell you that it’s not working, that you should just do what you’ve always done, it doesn’t like change.

You can tell your brain to chill, that this is all going to be ok and that you are re-creating your beautiful you.

You’re striving for perfection.

Perfection my friend will stop you from creating your dreams all day long.

Perfectionists are liars, there is no such thing so stop it now and stop telling everyone you’re a perfectionist. It’s not something to be proud of.

Tell yourself that you will strive for 80% work, B+ work. This will get you moving forward and allow you to just do what it is you said you were going to do without the fear of it not being perfect. Just get it done and if you have time, go back and work on doing another 80% on your first 80%!

You’re not fully applying the techniques.

This is like those clients I had that weren’t fully successful in their health and wellness goals. They thought that taking the step of hiring a coach was going to create the results and then they would let themselves down by not applying the work. This doesn’t work.

This was what I did in the beginning of hearing the techniques I used to create my own personal freedom. I consumed the information but didn’t fully apply them. I kind of applied them but when I liked enough of what I had been hearing I hired a coach and applied everything she taught me.

Funny, I saw massive results.

You’re not evaluating your progress.

This is one of the most important things I have learned how to do and have honored myself in doing. Sometimes I don’t want to do this, I think it’s going to take too much time, but seeing how far we’ve come is so important.

Our brain wants to continue to tell us that we still aren’t good enough, that we still are not perfect, that we should just give up, go sit on the couch and eat chocolate.

Our brain is funny like that. It really wants to protect us but if we aren’t fully aware of what it’s doing it will keep us from moving forward.

You’re making your fails mean that it’s not working instead of using your fails as learning experiences that will move you forward.

You can make failing whatever you want it to mean and again, the brain really wants to just protect you from hurting yourself.

Failure is ok, it doesn’t mean anything about you and your worth but I imagine that most of your life that is what you’ve made it mean.

Now you are doing the work to change that, you are doing the work of changing your brain and telling it that failure is just information. Let me say that again.

Failure is just information along the way to your success. It’s data for you to analyze and to use to figure out what went wrong so you can work on what you will do next time.

I believe in you friend. I know you can do this.

You are one strong woman out there doing amazing things in the world.

I know you have the capability to do more but not just do more, but to do more and to have fun doing it!

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

The Only Tool Needed To Create The Life Of Your Dreams

Are you tired of the negative thought patterns?

Tired of your brain winning out over your goals to not eat cake?

Tired of feeling at the effect of how other people show up in your life?

So was I and I am on a mission to share how I broke free from myself and took control of my brain.

I first heard about this tool from my Master Coach instructor Brooke Castillo while listening to her podcasts. I heard her talk about it multiple times and basically conceptualized the tool but hadn’t done the work to actually apply it.

You see, I had gotten to a point in my life where I was tired.

I was tired of creating a facade,  of living a different life out in the world from what I lived in private.

I was tired of not just letting go of my past life story and being me, in every life situation.

I was tired of feeling empty.

I was tired of the hate relationship I had with my body.

I was tired of putting my emotions in the hands of others.

So I started the journey by first finding a therapist.

That was ok. Let’s just say it got me moving forward and allowed me to start focusing within.

My therapist wasn’t onboard with the teachings of The Life Coach School but they seemed to resonate and move me into action way more than anything else I was doing. So I started applying what I was hearing instead of just consuming the information.

The first place I started was with this tool I had heard so much about but just couldn’t seem to grasp.

I couldn’t grasp it because I wasn’t actually using it.

This may not be news to you but when you buy all of the tools and supplies that the YouTube video says you need to fix your leaky faucet, you actually need to learn how to use the tools first. The leaky faucet doesn’t just fix itself by you watching the video and having the correct tools.

I know, mind blow.

Let me introduce to you:

The Thought Model

The thought model consists of five components and it is the foundation of everything I teach my clients. It is one of the first things I teach as well as the first work they start doing, daily, to help understand how to make themselves achieve anything they desire in their life.

They use it to learn how to create a new, amazing relationship with themselves so they can learn how to blow their own mind.

Here it is in a nutshell:

Circumstances are the facts around the problem you are experiencing.

Thoughts are the thoughts you are thinking about your circumstance.

Feelings are caused by our thoughts.

Actions are what we do based on the emotion that thought creates for us.

Results are the result of the actions we take based on the feeling the thought generates, and our result is always a direct reflection of the thought we are having about our particular circumstance.

You might be asking how this tool can create the life of your dreams.

First, I suggest you just trust me.

Second, I suggest you try utilizing it.

Third, let me explain just a bit.

You see, when we can see the result of the the thoughts we are thinking about our particular circumstance, it gives us a clearer picture of our current results and why we are getting them, this is called our unintentional model.

This in of itself will get the brain to start becoming more aware and willing to see the truth of your problem, then it can start coming up with possible solutions.

The other part I haven’t told you yet is that, from here we can then create what we call an intentional model. Though awareness is where I ask my clients to sit in for a bit before they try to change their situation, there is the ability to fast forward into what we call an intentional model, a place where we really want to be in our life but feel like it’s completely impossible.

I have news for you, it is completely possible.

The place between where we are now and where we want to be is often called the River Of Misery, it’s the hard work we do to overcome our brain and get to the other side, our intentional model.

For my clients the other side of the river is where they are the hero in their life. Where they get to start achieving their impossible. Where they actually start to end the closing of the door to themselves and learn how to open that door. They learn how to throw that door wide open and let it flood them with the beauty of their intended beautiful life.

It allows them to open the door to freedom.

I have a simple model document that breaks down the model and it’s components in more detail and I would love to share with you. All you need to do is send me an email and I’ll get it off to you so you can start applying this tool in your own life.

If this sounds like something you’d love to explore for yourself or if you know someone who might want to hear this information then I’d to chat. I do free consults for people who want to break free from themselves and start living life on purpose.

You deserve this my friend, let me show you how to be the hero of your life story.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Are You Self Confident or Confident?

Today I want to share the difference because it’s huge. It might help you discover something you didn’t know about yourself and allow you to explore how to develop the one you may be lacking.

Confidence

Confidence is specific to the person because it is a skill that someone has practiced or something that a person might have natural talent for. You are confident you can get on your bicycle after several years of not riding it if you’ve rode a bicycle enough to create that confidence.

Strong, driven, successful people like yourself have developed a false sense of self confidence by practicing and seeking further education in what you do. You have taken actions that have developed your confidence in something you do.

I like to liken this to your shield of confidence, you have proven to the powers that be, whoever those people are, that you are fully competent. To prove it you also might make sure that people are fully aware of your capability in an effort to feel better about yourself, so that they will be impressed with you.

Generating love, recognition, validation from outside of yourself.

The interesting thing is that even though we may have confidence in a certain ability there are so many of us who experience the dreaded imposter syndrome.

I experienced this during my 30 year business of coaching athletes. I had gone to college to become a Chemical Engineer, after three years changed that path to Journalism and Graphic Design. After getting laid off during Desert Storm, I decided to start helping all of the people at the gym who had been begging me to help them start the journey to a healthier life. Needing an income resource I started one of most successful personal training businesses in the country and became a professional athlete in the process. All the evidence of success still made me feel like an imposter, simply caused by plenty of confidence but very little self confidence.

Another consideration is that confident people often will not try things they aren’t good at because of fear. Fear they might fail. Fear they might feel embarrassed or humiliated.

Self Confidence

Is truly an overall mindset you create for yourself about your own ability in ALL areas of your life that matter to you.

It is the ability to do something that you might be afraid of doing but fear doesn’t stop you from doing it.

You choose to take the action regardless of your fear because you know that fear is just an emotion, it can’t kill you.

You are willing to fail with the only consequence being an uncomfortable feeling and possible failure.

Knowing that what happens doesn’t mean anything negative about you.

Knowing the feeling will pass.

Knowing you have evolved yourself and learned something.

You are taking the actions that you want to take, no matter what.

Self confident people will do things they haven’t done before because they’re confident in themselves. They aren’t afraid of feeling embarrassed or humiliated. They know that failure means nothing about them as a human being. They know that the failure is just information for moving forward.

As a coach who has overcome the obstacle of myself getting in the way of myself I now teach people how to become more self confident. I teach them how to overcome the fears that keep them from playing big. I teach them how to have their own back in every life situation.

If you are starting to see that you might be the biggest obstacle in your life and you want to start coming up with strategies to overcome this obstacle then send me an email and let’s find some time to talk. Overcoming this obstacle has been the best work I have ever done in my life and it is my mission to help anyone brave enough to finally take the steps to freedom.

I can’t wait to watch you soar!

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Adopt These 5 Thoughts To Create Your Future Self

Thoughts.

We have around 60 – 80 thousand per day.

Some of them are thoughts we think on the regular.

Thoughts that we think on the regular tend to become our beliefs.

My clients share these thoughts with me daily and it’s very hard for them to see how to start changing them, they have become so solid that they belief them to be true and unchangeable.

Thoughts like:

“I’m just not good at creating friendships.”

“I am just a procrastinator.”

“I’m not a good cook.”

“I’m just not coordinated.”

“My life is difficult.”

These toxic thoughts are one of the first things my clients start working on. As abstract as it may seem, it is crucial work on the journey to achieve what seems impossible.

Our thoughts can either drag us down, keeping us stuck or lift us up while propelling us forward.

The beautiful thing is that you get to decide what thoughts you choose to keep, which ones you want to stop believing as well as which ones you want to start thinking.

If you choose to start thinking some amazingly positive thoughts, over time those thoughts WILL become new beliefs.

You get to chose, I have chosen to change the direction of my thoughts and today I’m sharing some of mine with you.

I welcome you to adopt them as your own or even better, choose some of your own to start thinking.

I am committed to believing that my past life story is fully beautiful.

I am committed to believing that everything happens for me.

I am committed to believing that I am perfectly and beautifully created.

I am committed to believing that I am in control of my destiny.

I am committed to believing that I am fully worthy and capable.

I can’t wait to hear what beautiful new thoughts you are choosing to think, what new beliefs you are starting to believe.

If this journey sounds exactly like something you need in your life then I would love to give you the road map to start creating what appears to be impossible. I did it, I am doing it and I am guiding others along their own path of creating their own impossible.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Three Ways To Bring Romance Back Into Your Relationship

There was a time when you were truly in love with your spouse, like you wanted to spend every moment with them, they were the center of your life.

Now of course you love them, but really, you can’t stand them. If they would just do all of the things you needed them to do, say all of the things you want them to say, then life would be happily ever after.

Often times in the beginning of relationships we do all of the things that will make the other person show us love in return. We aren’t our true selves, we’re looking for love from outside of ourselves.

If this is the case we typically haven’t learned how to generate love for ourselves. As the relationship starts getting comfortable, or as the old saying goes, once the honeymoon is over, we get tired of the work that goes into trying to get someone to make us feel good.

We start to resent the fact that they aren’t just doing the same things they did, to make us feel good, even though we’re not doing the same things we used to do to generate the reactions that they gave us the feeling of love.

This is the beginning of the breakdown.

We don’t really pay too much attention in the beginning of the breakdown but as time goes on we start to wonder if there is any hope.

I have some amazing news my loves, there most definitely is.

I know this because this was me in my marriage.

Even better news is that you don’t even need your partner to be a part of your game to re-create a hot, steamy, romantic, loving, fun relationship.

All it takes is you.

Ready? Let’s start this!

Make a list of all of the things you want your love to do and then, do it for them.

I know, this most likely isn’t the first thing you wanted to hear but honestly, why do you want them to do the thing? Because YOU want it done? To make YOU happy? Then I suggest you do something amazing for yourself and do that thing for yourself OR just choose to let that thing not be done.

When we put our happiness in the hands of others we are bound to be let down, over and over again.

My guess is you have an operating manual for your spouse. A manual that lists all of the things you want them to do to make you happy. It’s even possible that if you typed the manual out and gave it to them and they actually followed it, that you still wouldn’t be happy.

The best thing I have done is put my happiness in my own hands, not in the hands of someone else.

You know what’s perfect about this? I know exactly what I want and I can either take care of it myself or politely ask my spouse to do it for me but if he doesn’t I have to take my power back and make sure I take care of myself.

I hear your argument. I know them all because they were mine. What I learned is that I was never fully happy putting my happiness in the hands of someone else.

Neither will you.

Challenge yourself to do something uncomfortable.

Step number one might be that one thing. Maybe it is putting that laundry basket away even though it had your husband’s clothing in it. When you take the focus off of why he’s not doing it and focus on the fact that it’s you that will feel amazing when it’s put away, you take back your control.

I’m thinking something even more uncomfortable but the above could be a start. I’m thinking more along the lines of hmmmm….when’s the last time you gave your spouse a long hug and told them how much you appreciate everything they do (not for you) and really say it from the heart?

Feel uncomfortable? Why? What is it you fear?

I challenge you to actually take a moment to stop and answer those two questions. Then ask yourself what it would feel like to do the same thing from a place of self confidence in your ability to do something for yourself. From a place of doing it because it would feel good for YOU.

Write down 10 things you love about your spouse.

Put them on a note in your phone and every morning open that note and read it out loud to yourself.

When we are stuck in a negative thought pattern your brain is conditioned to continue to feed more negative thoughts to you. It’s just helping you out and doing what it is designed to do.

You have to be deliberate about how you direct your thoughts or your brain will always revert to finding what is wrong.

When you tell your brain to look for the positive it will start looking for what you are asking it.

This is going to take you some time, it did for me anyway. I had been so focused on everything he was doing wrong that I just couldn’t think of anything positive. I started with this: he is my husband, he married me, he loves me. If you have to start with one thing then start with the one and just tell your brain to keep looking. Every day add something new to the list.

Soon you will notice yourself starting to feel better.

Soon you will notice the spark coming back.

Be patient friend, that fire has been out for a while, that fire pit is wet and soggy, it’s going to take more than a few swipes of the match to dry it out and then build it to an inferno.

I absolutely love hearing the fun love stories that come back into people’s relationships, all because of the work on one person’s part.

 I love seeing the smile on my client’s faces when they tell me something loving they did.

Not to get someone to love them.

To show themselves how much they love themselves.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Three Steps To Building Self Trust

Today I had a consult with a woman who just couldn’t make a decision so I started asking some questions about actions she was taking, or not taking in her life. She didn’t trust her boss and then she admitted to several other people she didn’t trust, ultimately uncovering that she didn’t trust herself either. With her being able to see this she was able to see the impact of doing the work to start taking care of herself before she could really start building trust in outside relationships.

First let me suggest you read my post where I tell you one way to figure out if you trust yourself then come back to this post.

If you’ve already read that post or already have a good idea that you lack self trust, then you’re in the right place, let’s get you started on getting to a place where you can trust yourself.

Learn how to follow through on things you tell yourself you’re going to do.

This, in my opinion, is the most important one of all and the easiest to start implementing because it’s “actionable”. Here are the actions you can take to start implementing follow through:

  1. Pick something simple you want to follow through on, let’s use getting the laundry done
  2. Come up with all of the obstacles to getting that task done:
    1. I have three loads so I can’t get it all done at once
  3. Come up with the strategies to getting it done:
    1. I’m going to do it all on Saturday, spaced out
  4. Schedule:
    1. 1 block of 15 min (to separate and get first load in machine)
    2. 1 block an hour later of 15 or 30 minutes (transfer & load, 30 min if you air dry some of your laundry)
    3. 1 block an hour later of 30 min (transfer/load/hang/fold)
    4. 1 block an hour later of 30 min (transfer/load/hang/fold)
    5. 1 block an hour later of 30 min (transfer/hang/fold/put away)
    6. 1 block some other time to fold and put away hanging laundry
  5. Actually do the task when it comes up, no matter what
  6. Evaluate what worked, what didn’t work, what you’ll change next time

The more you do what you say you’re going to do the more trust you’ll build in yourself and the more self confidence you build ?

Learn how to experience any emotion.

This is a big part of what I teach. The only reason we don’t do something is because of how we think it will make us feel. Once we learn that the worst thing that can happen is an emotion then we can decide that there is nothing you can’t do. When you know that there isn’t anything that you can’t do you build trust in yourself and self confidence ?

Make a decision to change your opinion of yourself.

Once you start believing that you are good, capable, strong, worthy, competent then you will start trusting yourself. I wrote in an earlier post about how this truly can just be something you decide to do. Though your brain is going to offer you a different thought, a thought that you’ve conditioned it to think, it’s still possible to start today to change that thought into something that is actually going to serve you. Not only is this going to build trust but, yep, it’s going to build your self confidence ?

Building trust is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and for others. If you don’t fully trust yourself, be honest, who will you trust?

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.