Overcoming Pain With Phoebe Grace

Overcoming Pain With Phoebe Grace

Welcome to my first interviews with experts! My journey of curating value for my audience has been a beautiful journey of self-growth. Last month I started thinking about how I could provide all of you with more value and here we are, every last Tuesday of the month I will be bringing you an expert in the field of mental health. We all have different journeys, each bringing us our own set of obstacles and my hope is that these guest experts will help you reach out and find the help you are looking for.

Today’s guest is Phoebe Grace of Overcoming With Grace. Phoebe has been married for 11 years with 2 beautiful kids and a Labrador. She loves working with women to help them overcome some of life’s greatest pains, so they can feel free, worthy, and loved. She is passionate about helping them LIVE when they feel like life isn’t worth living anymore because of all the pain. Phoebe also spends her time with Jesus, her family, listening to music, eating delicious food, and watching with her hubby.

Listen in as this beautiful soul shares her journey into life coaching and how she helps the women she serves, enjoy!

Thank you so much for listening! Here is how you can find Phoebe and the resources that she shared:

Overcoming With Grace (webpage)

Instagram

Facebook 

Resources Phoebe shared:

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Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life-changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

Know someone hurting in their relationships? If you think they might benefit from hearing this message please share this article with them. You might be the one who leads them to their best life.

Don’t forget to join my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself and never miss another post, get yourself signed up for my newsletter!

Swimming and Emotional States

🎧 Prefer to listen to the audio version? Click here!

If you’re wondering what swimming and emotional states have to do with each other then you are about to find out. Personally, I love to swim and believe it is a great antidote when experiencing an emotional state that you want to process. With it’s repetitive, automatic motion, the relaxing sound of the water movement, fresh air filling your lungs, with blue sky speckled with clouds and sun rays dancing off the water, heavenly and thouroughly meditative. If you are someone who has swum in one of the 10,000 lakes of Minnesota for the majority of your life, you will totally get it. Swimmer or not, I think you will be able to appreciate my following swimming analogy when it comes to our different states of emotion.

I came to this analogy while going through an extended “negative” emotional period. I put the word negative in quotations because I prefer not to name an emotion negative or positive, all emotions drive us to take actions, negative emotions have us taking actions that typically keep us from moving forward. In contrast to that thinking though I want to offer that negative emotions, when processed correctly, can actually move us forward by helping us to see what we are creating and using it to learn. When we learn something from any experience we are moving forward.

Some people wrongly assume that once you have experienced working with a coach you will never experience negative emotion. Wrong. This life is meant to be both good and bad, it is a balance called life. Don’t let this assumption keep you from working with a life coach, having someone on your side helping you navigate life is the best gift you could ever give yourself, as well as everyone in your life. Coaching makes going through the negative a whole different experience, read on.

So what is the “50/50”?

When I say 50/50 I’m talking about negative versus positive emotional states. “Good” times versus “bad” times. Times when we feel open and are moving forward versus times when we are feeling closed in and stagnant.

Life will always be a balance of both of these emotional states, often we have times when that ratio is skewed one way or another, more often to the negative.

Currently, I am using the swimming analogy to compare negative emotional states as being under the water while positive emotional states as being above water and looking at a blue sky with the sun sparkling off the water like millions of diamonds.

During this negative emotional state that I was experiencing, I observed that it had been a while since I had endured a mental state that I couldn’t move through. I was then able to compare how this state felt now, after working with several different life coaches, to life prior to learning about coaching.

The 50/50 before life coaching.

The negative 50 seemed more like a 80, 90, or 99. I felt continually pushed under the water by outside forces, against my own will. I believed most of my life was gloomy, and that made the positive barely visible. I needed outside stimulation to make that little bit of positive feel right; no wonder I overate, over drank, or overdid most anything that could make me feel better. All of this proves the philosophy that what we look for, we will find because there were plenty of people who saw my life as perfect.

Once in a while, I would come up for air, and when I did, the sky was mostly cloudy. Even when I used something outside of myself to feel better, I never felt like I ever saw the sun. Whenever I was under the water, maybe I could see the sun, but it was only through the dirty murky water and barely visible.

The 50/50 after coaching.

As I was going through this particular negative stretch what I noticed was that it really wasn’t all that bad. Yeah, I was feeling a bit under the weather but I described it more like bobbing on the water, every once in a while slipping under the water but still being able to see the sun because the water was clear. All the time that I was under the water I knew that the sun and fresh air were right there and I could pop up to grab some. I knew I could stay there a while and enjoy it’s beauty as it sparkled across the waves and then I would pop down under again. All the while knowing it was no big deal. I knew that this was something I was creating, that I could feel it all and be ok, the shore was just a few breaststroke’s away.

In review of the before and after what I most want to impress upon you is the difference in energy between the two scenarios. The “before” scenario keeps you stuck in a state of suffering while the “after” scenario allows you to be present with your pain while continuing to move forward with your life dreams and goals.

There you have it my beautiful friend! Life will always be the contrast of good and bad, the negative along with the positive. When you know that the bad or negative all comes from our thinking, your life will completely change. You will be able to see your emotional states for what they are, that you are creating it all with your very own mind and that you have the power to change it. You enjoy the swim because all around you there is the good with the bad.

Self coaching and working with a coach helps us to see what we are experiencing and why. We can see it is temporary, meaningful and that we are all ok.

Self coaching and coaching will show you that the way to the other side is just a vibration in our body created by our mind with our thinking.

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

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Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life-changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

Know someone hurting in their relationships? If you think they might benefit from hearing this message please share this article with them. You might be the one who leads them to their best life.

Don’t forget to join my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself and never miss another post, get yourself signed up for my newsletter!

How Is Your Mental Health?

Many of us are into our physical health – especially many of my followers who have continued to follow me from my last business of thirty years where I trained athletes.

Many of us are into our spiritual health.

Many of us are into our financial health.

Many of us are into our relational health, or at least we wish we knew how to be more relationally healthy.

How many of us though are into our MENTAL health?

An even better question, what exactly is mental health?

Most of us, including my past self, would call taking care of mental health as something we do outside of ourselves:

  • Vacations
  • Prayer time (spiritual)
  • Bubble baths
  • Hobbies
  • Spa treatments
  • Workouts (physical)

I won’t deny the benefit of taking some time to pamper our bodies and our minds, I myself LOVE a good facial treatment, but this my friends is NOT mental health.

Some of us may define being mentally healthy by the lack of a mental illness, this is NOT mental health.

Everything we do in our life, everything we create, do, feel – it all comes from our brain and the way we think.

EVERYTHING.

We can’t do anything without first thinking about doing it.

This is absolutely the very first thing we should be investing in.

Why?

Let me say it again, and re-read the following paragraph until it really sinks in:

“Everything we do in our life, everything we create, do, feel – it all comes from our brain and the way we think.”

Need another reason?

Let me ask you this question and please answer it honestly:

Has ANYONE taught you how to manage your brain?

Thinking positive thoughts is NOT managing your brain.

Our life is at least 50% negative and 50% positive. Trying to think sunshine and lavender fields when it’s clouds and mud in your mind is NOT managing your mind.

No one teaches us how to think, not even your therapist.

Focusing on your brain determines everything you put out into the world.

This is what I do. I help you with your mental health.

I help you create your very best version of yourself.

I help you design the life you were uniquely create to live.

What are you waiting for?

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Four Ways To Stop Letting Yourself Down

We all do it.

The good news is that we have the power to change history for ourselves.

What we do after we let ourselves down determines whether we use the experience to move us forward or get us even more stuck in old patterning.

As we break the old patterning we will be able to see ourselves WANTING to fall back to old patterning by seeing ourselves WANTING to let ourselves down. As we break this patterning though and start to feel the incredible feeling of NOT letting ourselves down we are able to stop ourselves before we seek immediate pleasure at our own expense.

I’m curious, what is your favorite way to let yourself down?

  • Over: eat – drink – spend – sleep, under sleep
  • Don’t complete goals, possibly never even start them, just think about some day….
  • Sustain an unfulfilling life
  • Don’t speak up for yourself
  • Don’t take time to understand what you’re feeling or what you want out of life
  • Allow yourself to stay stuck in relationships that don’t seem to be working for you (this is something you have full power over, without even involving the other person)
  • You don’t believe you deserve a better life
  • You aren’t growing
  • You self criticize
  • You don’t peel off that outer facade and start designing the life you were created to live

I’d like you to pause for a moment and ask yourself why you are letting yourself down? Why are you allowing this to happen in your life?

Let me offer a few reasons why we let ourselves down:

  • We want to seek immediate pleasure even though it doesn’t last and often let’s us down
  • We don’t want to endure the immediate discomfort of not indulging
  • We haven’t figured out how to manage our time, project/goal plan
  • We’ve created a patterning of not trusting ourselves
  • We lack the self confidence to do the things we are afraid of doing
  • We are people pleasing instead of self pleasing
  • Our relationship with ourself is weak
  • Habit: we’ve developed brain patterning that keeps us doing what it is we’ve always done, even when it hurts us in the long run, we don’t know how to change

While I have been thinking about this whole phenomenon of letting ourselves down I started to notice how we act when we let ourselves down:

  • make excuses
  • beat ourselves up
  • ignore, pretend it didn’t happen, avoid
  • learn from the experience

This last option is the option I want to help you to start choosing. This is going to be the option that will allow you to grow, move forward and start changing years of patterning. The other choices, well, they just keep you stuck and actually, falling deeper into the patterning you’ve created for yourself.

Here are my four suggestions to get you started in moving you forward and starting the process of standing up for yourself:

Awareness

Start paying attention to what you’re thinking and how it’s making you feel.

Start being on to yourself and noticing when you do let yourself down. It’s all going to start by looking back at when you do let yourself down. Notice it first, then when you start noticing you can write down some things: what were you thinking before you let yourself down, how did those thoughts feel, that feeling is what drove you to the action of letting yourself down, doing what it is you didn’t want to do resulting in you letting yourself down.

Once you start breaking it down after the fact you will notice that your brain will start becoming aware before you let yourself down, your conditioning will still have you doing what you’ve always done, that’s ok, repeat the writing process above.

Eventually you will start catching on to yourself.

This is when you can start questioning what you’re doing before you even do it. You can dig into why you’re doing what you’re doing, it’s always because of a feeling that comes from a thought. Here is when you can start actually noticing what happens when you resist that emotion, which is what we’ve been trained to do in our past, hence why most diets and goals end up failing. Resistance leads to giving in, and usually giving in HARD. This is where you will want to learn how to allow the emotion, how to sit there and be uncomfortable with the urge to let yourself down.

This is where you learn how to stop reacting to emotions by becoming aware of them and just watching them pass by.

Create a goal

Yes, one goal, but this is just the start. Many of us think up some pretty amazing goals, yet we have no idea how to plan and create success with those goals, we’re over ambitious and plan a long list of goals all at one time, a perfect set up for failure.

It starts with picking one goal and then creating an obstacle list. What are all of the things you’re going to run into that will keep you from reaching that goal. Write them down.

Then you will come up with a list of strategies for your obstacles, you will schedule all of these strategies on your calendar. If the strategy is lengthy then break it down into bite size chunks.

Lastly, you will need to go back up to the awareness section because every time one of those strategies comes up on your calendar, guess what?

You’e going to want to let yourself down.

Ask great questions

Your brain will search for answers to the questions you ask it, so ask questions that move you forward, not questions that keep you stuck.

Poor questions:

  • Why am I such a failure?
  • Why can’t I do what I say I’m going to do?
  • Why am I so weak?

Instead ask great questions:

  • In what ways am I strong and powerful?
  • How can I succeed at this next task?
  • How can I start doing what I say I’m going to do?

Start practicing these new thoughts

Once you start asking good questions you’re going to have some good thoughts to think. Start practicing these thoughts, but make sure they are believable because practicing thoughts that you don’t believe won’t get you anywhere except right back to letting yourself down.

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My Awaken(YourTrue)You program teaches incredibly powerful women like yourself how to identify and live out your truth. How to believe in your success and boldly share it with the world. How to leave a legacy.

I offer a free call to anyone brave enough to take the steps of creating the life they were meant to live. It’s a call for you to decide if this work is for you or not. I believe it is.

Share this message with a friend who needs to hear it, for every woman willing to do the work of becoming her best self there will be thousands of others impacted by her journey.

This is my life, join me in my mission to save the world, one powerful woman at a time.