Stop Avoiding Your Lover

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“You are cold-hearted and non-emotional, I’m tired of being ignored! I am always the one who has to plan our time together, obviously, you don’t care enough to put any energy into our relationship.”

Deb has had it, she just wishes Jack would change. She is full of resentment and tired of fighting against him. Instead of coming up with solutions, Deb starts finding ways to get away from her husband as a form of punishment. Punishment because she isn’t actually enjoying the activities she chooses to participate in, instead she is using them against Jack hoping that he’ll change.

One of the most common actions my clients take when they are experiencing some sort of negative emotion like resentment, fear, confusion, anger, resignation is avoidance. They decide to start “doing things for themselves” but not actually enjoying their time, they aren’t using the time to grow, explore and connect with themselves. Imagine this; you want to get in shape, like build some shoulders, glutes, and have a 6 pack but working out just doesn’t work for you. So instead you watch workout videos, athletic events, collect workout plans, apps, equipment but none of this gets you any closer to your vision, it actually moves you further from your vision. You are avoiding the actual work of it.

Let’s dig into the why of your avoidant actions.

Resentment has us wanting and expecting our partners to take care of our needs. We want them to do all of the things that will make us feel loved and connected because somewhere along the line, we learned that other people’s actions determine how we feel. “Make mommy happy by cleaning up your room,” “I’d feel so much better if you told me you loved me.”, “Give grandpa a kiss goodbye, so you don’t hurt his feelings.” Pay attention to other people’s conversations, pay attention to the conversation in your own head and notice how true it is; as you start to see the prevalence of this behavior, you can start deciding if you like it or not.

Let’s take a look at what it is you do when you are feeling resentment, fear, confusion, anger, resignation in your romantic relationship. Let me guess about some actions you might be taking:

  • Avoid
  • Blame
  • Complain
  • Expect them to change
  • Don’t proactively plan activities together
  • You spend more time at work
  • Go out with your friends more than usual
  • Search for things to do that you haven’t done for yourself in years, but not for enjoyment sake – out of resentment
  • Spend money on things that don’t matter for a temporary “feel good”
  • Maybe you eat more than you’d like
  • Have a drink or two more because that might get you in the mood of having a good time with your partner

Can you see how every single one of these actions are a form of avoidance? All of these actions have you changing into someone your spouse might not want to be with AND further away from someone YOU want to be with! It gets you further from your goal of creating an intimate relationship, both with yourself and your partner.

So what’s in the way?

You. Yep, I typed that correctly. You are in your own way of getting what you want in your relationship. You are waiting for them to do the things you want them to do which gives them all of the control in your relationship and in how you feel. Boo! That won’t work for you my friend, trust me I’ve tried it, all it does is get you further from exactly what you want, which is lots of love.

Now what?

Now it’s time to start digging into all of the reasons you want them to do these things. We actually uncovered that in the story of Deb and Jack’s relationship, she wants him to make her feel good. Deb gives Jack all of her emotional power in their relationship, Jack feels manipulated if he abides by her demands without feeling honoring and Deb ends up losing herself in the process.

The first step Deb needed to take is becoming aware of this simple fact. We do this exact thing in so many of our relationships, we are expecting them to act a certain way, over and over and over again. We wonder why we’re getting so frustrated, the whole time forgetting how to fill ourselves up all on our own. When we keep expecting our love to come from an outside source we are always craving our next fix, looking for that next hit of pleasure outside of ourselves. These outside pleasures leave us empty, maybe overweight, hungover and sad.

To turn the cycle around, you will want to start taking care of your mental health; you’ll want to take your power back and start working on how you will find joy for yourself. You may ask why you should do that; you thought that’s what marriage was, your partner providing you with the love and support you need, that my friend is a lofty ask for anyone and quite dangerous. That will have your partner all weak and not themselves, continually trying to make you happy. That is a lose-lose situation for both of you. It’s time to let go of your manuals, start practicing emotional adulthood, and start nurturing that dried up love seed that you’ve unknowingly been neglecting.

The good news is this; when Deb started taking her focus off of Jack she started feeling so much better, she felt empowered, satisfied, responsible, and joyous which led her to start opening up in conversation with Jack. She doesn’t need him to fill up her joy tank because she is learning how to do that all by herself. Now Jack gets to be himself while she gets to enjoy her best life to date. Deb has learned how to Awaken her true self!

๐ŸŽง Audio version of blog here!

๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“

Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Letโ€™s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

Iโ€™d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life-changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

Know someone hurting in their relationships? If you think they might benefit from hearing this message please share this article with them. You might be the one who leads them to their best life.

Donโ€™t forget to join my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself and never miss another post, get yourself signed up for my newsletter!

Self Coaching Model

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Congratulations! You have made it to week 7 of this seven-part series, where we have been doing a deep dive into the self-coaching model, the very first tool I teach all of my clients. You having this tool means you will be able to start doing your own self-coaching, which is never a replacement for working with a live coach, but helps you get through those spaces between sessions. For the past seven weeks, I have taken each piece of the model, explained it, and shared some weekly homework to help you better understand how each piece works. Having a better understanding of each piece allows you to have a better understanding of the whole model once you start putting it together, which is today!

If you happen to be joining this series today, I want to encourage you to go back to week one and take your time to process through each post up to this week. Today we are going to see how the pieces of the puzzle get put together.

The self-coaching thought model consists of five elements that we have discussed in this series and all of which I will briefly overview below. The model looks like this, I have also created a Self-Coaching Thought Model cheat sheet to share with you to better explain:

You have a C (circumstance) in your life.

You have many T’s (thoughts) about that one C, which you will discover in your thought download, put one of the thought from your download into your model.

That specific T (thought) will create a F (feeling). Often it will create many feelings but you will only put the strongest emotion in the F line.

That F (feeling) will make you show up in several ways (A). That F will make you take several different A (actions) and inactions.

The A’s (actions) you take with create a specific R (result) for you.

That R (result) is evidence of your T (thought), always. This is why we focus so strongly on our thinking, how we think about circumstances in our life end up being our result. When we are able to clearly see this result we can start to decide if we like what we are creating and we can stop blaming other people for our results.

The process:

You start with your thought download which is you writing down all of the thoughts in your mind, getting them out of your mind and onto the paper. I shared a document in the Brain Flossing post to help you pull the thoughts out of your brain. Then you take one of the thoughts out of that download, I find it best to pick the most painful thought because it is most likely producing something that I won’t like. You put that thought in the T line. Then it’s very important to determine what the exact circumstance is that you are thinking that thought about. Make sure you take your time with this one, really make sure it is factual, specific, and neutral. Many people want to skip this part but don’t, it’s important to see that it isn’t the circumstance causing the problem, it’s always how we are thinking about the circumstance.

After you come up with the thought you want to look at, decide how that thought makes you feel. I shared a document in the feelings post linked above to help you come up with the strongest emotion that thought generates. It’s very likely that the thought makes you feel several different emotions, just pick one, the one that feels the strongest. You can always go back and run a model on a different emotion, or even a different thought about the same circumstance.

Next, I want you to take your time and write down all of the actions and inactions you take from that emotional state you are in when you think that thought about that circumstance. To begin my clients want to write down one or two different actions so they can quickly get to the result but I want to encourage you to come up with as many actions as you can. The more actions you come up with the clearer your result is going to be.

Now see if you can determine your result. Look at all of the actions you are taking, or not taking, and what are you producing for yourself? Look at the thought, does your result resemble the thought you are thinking? Remember that your result in the self-coaching thought model is a result you are creating for yourself. It is never someone else creating your result for you or you creating a result for someone else.

So let’s run through an example just for the fun of it:

C: Before he left for work, husband said “I’ll see you after work!”, husband came home at 8:12 pm

T: He never follows through on his word.

F: Cheated

A: Complain about him, make-up stories about what he is doing, don’t ask when he might be coming home, ask him accusingly why he’s so late, don’t engage in conversation, pretend you’re busy, go to bed early, don’t warm up his dinner, don’t talk to him the next day, quit making him dinner, don’t make his lunch for the following day, act defensive when he tries to talk to you, not open-minded

R: You don’t follow through with who you want to be as a person and a wife

See how the result ties back to what you are thinking about the fact that he said he’d see you after work and your thought that he never follows through. You end up creating a scenario where you’re not enjoying how you show up and following through.

Know that in each model you will have multiple thoughts going on, including some positive thoughts, go ahead, and do a model on a positive thought. Maybe you also have a thought that he works hard to take care of your family. Let’s put it in a model, making sure to keep the same circumstance:

C: Before he left for work, husband said “I’ll see you after work!”. Husband comes home at 8:12 pm

T: He works hard to take care of our family.

F: Appreciative

A: Text him to see if he knows when he might be home so you can have his dinner warm, give him a hug and kiss when he settles in, ask him good questions about his day, share your day with him, ask him if there is anything you can do to make his evening more relaxing, go about with your evening plans, go to bed as planned, stay focused on yourself, not judging him

R: You work hard to take care of yourself and your family

Now, the thought model is used to help you see the results you are producing as well as feel what your thought is generating for you. One of these two models might be more accurate for you, overpowering the other, let’s say the first model is more true for you. Even though you believe in the second model, you aren’t showing up that way; you are showing up as in the first model. Ask yourself how each model feels, especially the one you are sitting in and why you are choosing that thought over the other. Is that emotional state creating solutions for you, or is it keeping you stuck?

Realizing that it is simply your thought creating this, allows you to decide how you really want to show up when your husband comes home at 8:12 pm, for YOU. The second model helps you to show up 100% differently which then has your husband also showing up differently because he has his own model going on at the same time. You get to find out exactly what happened in his day, you knew about it early and were able to plan accordingly so you could feel good.

Warnings

Note that in the beginning, we will often want to “switch” models in the middle of the model. We’ll come up with the thought – emotion pieces and then as we start thinking about how we show up, we realize that we want to show up differently. We start putting actions in the action line that are coming from a different thought and feeling. Make sure that you are really feeling the current thought and emotion you are working within the model so that you see what result that thought produces for you. It’s not for judgment, it’s a tool to help create awareness for what you are potentially creating for yourself, don’t try to change it and deny something you are actually feeling.

Often when we learn how to create our unintentional models we start to beat ourselves up. We start to see that we are creating results that aren’t moving us forward, results we think are messing our lives up. I want to caution you to not do this. The thought model is an awareness tool, it helps us to see what we are creating in our life and that we are the authors of that creation. When we can see this truth and allow it to sink into our consciousness, we can from there decide if we want to keep the current model or create something different. Creating something different is always an option, that is why this work is so beautiful, it shows you how you are the author of your life.

Action steps

This week start filling out the whole model, use the model worksheet I shared in the Actions Speak Loudly post. These models that you will be creating are unintentional models, they are models that we are creating unintentionally, by default. The first model I shared is an unintentional model, the second one could be your real model or your intentional model. Intentional models are models we are creating intentionally. If that is your real model then you are intentionally creating a great result for yourself!

These models that you are creating this week will help you see the results you are getting from your current thinking. Before we move into creating intentional models, it’s important to let your unintentional models sink in. Really work on feeling what it is creating for yourself and seeing that your unintentional results are produced by your thinking before you go quickly changing it.

As you do this work during the week, make sure that you also do some models on your positive thoughts. With both negative and positive thoughts look at your result and decide if they align with what you want to create in your life.

This week I’m sort of leaving you hanging on a cliff because I haven’t fully finished this series. I decided to wait until next week to help you start creating intentional models because it’s so important to really absorb your current reality, how it feels and that you are the creator of it.

Don’t allow your models to make you feel guilty/ashamed/angry/frustrated or disappointed and definitely don’t judge your models; just allow yourself to become aware. Feel them and come back next week, where I’ll show you how to create the results that align with who you want to be in this beautiful life of yours.

๐ŸŽง Audio version of blog here!

๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“

Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life-changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

Know someone hurting in their relationships? If you think they might benefit from hearing this message please share this article with them. You might be the one who leads them to their best life.

Don’t forget to join my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself and never miss another post, get yourself signed up for my newsletter!

One Year Later – A Reflection

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A few days back, while publishing a recent blog, a thought occurred to me. I was thinking about the upcoming Fourth of July holiday and how last year, during that time away, I was in the middle of a challenge, a challenge to write 30 blogs in 30 days. I looked at my website back office, discovering that it was June 24, 2019, that I started that challenge, 94 blog posts later it had been over a year and it is just something I do.

Today I decided to share some of my reflections about how I got to this place. My hope is that in the process it will help you with any goals you have been thinking about but haven’t taken the action needed to get your desired result.

Thinking about your goal

What is it you want to achieve? How long have you been thinking about it? Way too often in my past life, I had a litany of things I wanted to accomplish, I’d create list upon list, stack them up in my head, take a stab here and there to make progress, never really getting anywhere. Sound at all familiar? I hear it over and over with my clients. We spend so much energy up in our heads spinning around, no wonder we think we’re too busy.

Today I want to suggest a new method.

  1. Write down all of the things you want to do, get them out of your head onto paper.
  2. Next, ask yourself these questions: โ€ข “What do I want to do?” โ€ข “What do I have to do?” โ€ข “What do I need to do?” โ€ข “What do I wish I would do?” โ€ข “What are the consequences of not doing each of these?”
  3. Look at the list and tell yourself this: “I don’t HAVE to do any of this.”, be honest, this is 100% true.
  4. Then cross off anything on the list you don’t want to do.
  5. Now prioritize your list.

Today I am not going to get into goal setting and goal-accomplishing, I just want you to look at that one thing. The one thing that you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t taken appropriate steps to make anything significant happen.

Let’s make it even simpler: What is the one thing you want to be doing that you’re not doing?

I knew I wanted to be putting great content out for my potential clients to get to know me, to start learning from me and to start practicing what I teach. I wanted something more than just social media posts. I had dabbled with a blog in my previous coaching business but was never very consistent; now, I wanted a different result. I wanted to give my people excellent, constant value.

What are your reasons?

Next, look at that one thing that you want to be doing but aren’t and do the following:

  1. Write a list of all of your reasons why you want to accomplish this dream.
  2. What are your reasons for not wanting to accomplish your dream? Make a list.
  3. Look at each list and ask yourself if you like your reasons.

I 100% loved all of my reasons for starting, and continuing a blog. All of my reasons for not wanting to do it were about fear and hiding; I didn’t like those reasons one bit. I knew it would be a lot of work but I also knew that someday I dreamed of having a podcast and that a blog was the perfect way for me to discover my voice while proving to myself that I could do this.

Decide and be all in on your decision.

If your decision is no, or no for now, drop it. Let it go and stop thinking about it. Stop beating yourself up. You don’t like your reasons for doing it so let it go.

If your decision is yes then it’s time to find your compelling reason to make this dream happen. It’s time to stop letting yourself down ahead of time.

What is your compelling reason?

  • Find it
  • Write it down
  • Refer to it often

You heard mine: I want to provide value for everyone who visits my website, people who will never be my client as well as those who will.

Start planning!

Write down all of the obstacles between here and your goal. I had all sorts of them:

  • I had to figure out where and how I was going to publish these articles
  • I had to figure out what I was going to write about
  • I had to build my self-confidence
  • I had to figure out titles, photos
  • I had to figure out how to publish a website
  • I had to create a Facebook business page
  • I had to get over myself and my mind drama

These were just a few of my obstacles, the biggest one being me. My brain, and all of the reasons it came up as to why this was a bad idea, that I should just skip it.

Then I came up with strategies to overcome my obstacles. Those strategies were all the steps I would take to get to my goal; these steps all got planned out on my calendar. The most important strategy was the one of managing my mind with daily self-coaching.

You know what comes next? You just get started.

Every day I looked at my compelling reason and re-committed.

Every day honoring my plan.

Every day managing my mind.

Every day taking time at the end of the day to evaluate what worked well, what didn’t work, and what I was going to do different.

Here is what happens next:

All of a sudden what was once a challenge is now a part of your daily life. I not only reached my goal but surpassed it, daily setting new goals. Now I have a backlog of blogs ready to go, photos curated, social media content curated AND, the most exciting part for me right now, at this moment: I have started publishing an audio version of my blog!

Every day, one step closer to the day on the calendar I have planned to launch my podcast.

I’d love for you to look back to a year ago. What have you committed to and accomplished since that time?

Do you know what might be even better? Make today the day you’re going to do the work I suggested so that you can look back a year from now and give yourself a high five for doing what you said you were going to do. I can’t wait to hear all about, please do share!

๐ŸŽง Audio version of blog here!

๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“

Are you struggling in your love relationships? I would love to help you find true love again. Myย Awaken(TheTrue)Youย program is for strong women like you who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so that you can create a dynamic relationship with your partner that you crave. Let’s reignite your love relationship today!

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life-changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

Know someone hurting in their relationships? If you think they might benefit from hearing this message please share this article with them. You might be the one who leads them to their best life.

Don’t forget to join myย mailing listย where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself and never miss another post, get yourself signed up for my newsletter!

Relationship Dreams To Reality

Somewhere in the timeline of a love relationship, couples go from crazy in love to waking up dissatisfied with the state of their relationship. This might take anywhere from a couple of months to several years, oftentimes not really noticing the deficiency they are feeling until they are past the point of complacency. Not knowing what steps to take to wake it back up, couples often find themselves accepting their relationship as more like a roommate living situation than one of deep love, connection and fun. You might even say that business partners would be an upgrade to how you would describe your current marriage or committed relationship.

If you’ve stopped coming up with ideas to bring flavor into your marriage, then now is the perfect time to start creating ideas and turning those ideas into your relationship reality.

The process starts with at least one of the partners in the relationship having a desire to change their current state of discontent. Until that desire to change becomes bigger than the desire to stay the same, then nothing will change. Knowing that it only takes one in the relationship for this change to occur makes the process even easier to start, your partner doesn’t even need to know that you are discontent in your relationship.

When our pain of staying the same exceeds the pain, or discomfort, of seeking change that’s when we’re ready to take action. In relationships we get comfortable with the way we are doing our life and don’t know how to start creating change, it feels super uncomfortable to start doing things differently. We might start by seeking what we feel we are missing somewhere outside of our relationship. It might be going out with our friends, in an effort to avoid our partner, doing less things alone with our partner, we might look for hobbies or classes to bring in some excitement, even further distancing us from the one we love the most and avoiding finding a solution to the underlying problem. I’m not at all saying that hanging out with friends, or doing things with other couples, or taking enrichment classes is wrong, I’m just saying that when it’s rooted in a desire to avoid active steps to improve your relationship, then you’re going to get more of the same in your relationship.

Relationship healing is similar to any other life goal that you want to plan the success of:

  1. Come up with a vision for your intimate relationship
  2. Create an action plan
  3. Start taking massive action

It truly is that simple, the difficult part is implementing the action steps you want to take. Our brains are resistant to change, it really wants us to keep everything just as it is, even if we’re not happy with status quo.

Change is difficult because it requires us to be vulnerable, it requires us to get uncomfortable. Discomfort makes us want to quit and that’s why treating it like any other goal and finding a hard why, makes quitting an option that isn’t available.

Let’s look at the steps a bit more closely.

Vision

Here’s where you get to dream, here’s where you ask yourself what your desired romantic relationship looks like. Start a list that has all the things that are 100% crucial for you and then a list of relationship needs that don’t have to come from your partner. Often times early in our love relationships we are expecting our loved one to provide all of our relationship needs and often they do so, until time passes. When we are doing things for our partner that aren’t a want match for us, then we’ll eventually stop doing them. Let’s say your husband used to go to art shows with you, something you love to do but he’s not into it, now he says he’s not interested. That’s not a want match, you want to go, he doesn’t and how can you be ok with that? How can this be your opportunity to connect with your artsy friends?

Then ask yourself why this dream is important to you, list all of the reasons and really take some time with this step.

Then look at all of the hard things you’ve succeeded with in your life and in your relationships, start building up the awareness of your ability to do hard things.

Create an action plan

This is the part where you will list all of the things that will get in the way of you achieving this dream. Brainstorm all of the obstacles and the strategies for overcoming those obstacles. Let me give you some ideas:

  • Overcoming old beliefs you have about your relationship
  • Increasing self confidence
  • Creating a love relationship with yourself
  • Re-writing your past life story, including but not limited to your story about this relationship you are unhappy in
  • Learning new ways to have an unconditional love relationship
  • Learning how to manage your time so you can plan your success

Taking massive action

Massive action is continuing to take action even when it’s uncomfortable, when you want to give up, when it’s hard. Taking action is easy when your actions bring you “success” but when your actions “fail”, this is when things will become difficult, this is when we want to find something easier to do. When we’re afraid to take action because of how it might feel, that’s where a solid hard why is so integrally important. Re-visiting our vision, our hard why, on a daily basis and remembering why we’re here doing this work. When things get difficult our old beliefs with sneak in to tell you that the old existence was just fine, falling back into complacency, this is when our vision can easily get muddy.

Taking massive action to create our future dreams takes grit, perseverance and a solid why to not give up when our actions seem to fail. Taking massive action when our brain is telling us that we should just forget about it, that we should just sit on the opposite end of the couch and read our book instead of asking for a cuddle, is when we will start seeing the results of our work. You will start to see the fruits of your labor and that is what will encourage you to keep going.

My clients know that their desired result is so important to them that they are willing to believe something new. They’re not willing to leave their relationship, yet they’re tired of it staying the same. They know their results will far outweigh their discomfort and they are ready to invest in the magic that happens when they re-ignite their love.

๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for women who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. I show you how to stop settling and bring back the love, connection and excitement you crave. Let’s re-ignite your marriage relationship today!

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability, your future life is waiting for you.

Please share this message with anyone who you know who might benefit from hearing this message. Don’t forget to join my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

If you’d like to get more empowering emails delivered straight to you and never miss another post please get yourself signed up for my newsletter!

Lessons Learned Around Goal Setting

I’m going to just start off with what New Year’s goal setting used to look like for me:

  • Curling up on the couch New Year’s Day, or possibly some other Friday or Saturday evening in January or possibly even February, because you know, I’m busy!
  • Opening up my journal to the pages I wrote out last year’s goals, noting that it could have been quite possible that these pages hadn’t been visited in, um, well, maybe never since the day they were written on.
  • I’d maybe write some notes on this page detailing, if you can call it that, any progress I had achieve in each goal.
  • After realizing how I had not accomplished to do what I said I wanted to do, I might beat myself up a bit.
  • Pour another glass of wine.
  • Give myself a pep talk about how this year is going to be different.
  • Write down another new, ambitious list, possibly a bit more detailed so as to hope for greater success in the coming year.
  • Close the notebook.
  • Go to bed.

If this sounds any bit familiar to you then read on my friend because there is a much better way.

A way that guarantees an end to your cycle of, truly, wasting your time over good intentions that get left behind.

This plan is way more simple than your brain is going to allow you to believe AND it will get you amazing results of creating your best life ever.

My new goal setting process is a strategic plan that includes managing my mind and it is what got me from just having great hopes of change to actually achieving my dreams.

As I have evaluated my process I want to share my four best tips that will guarantee your goal success, in order of importance, in my opinion.

Constraint.

Just pick one big goal to put your all into.

The one that will make the others irrelevant.

You won’t want to do this but trust me, it is key!

Make it measurable.

You have to have a way to determine if you are making progress.

Math doesn’t lie.

You want it to be very specific and results oriented.

Plan.

Just writing your dreams down, closing the book and maybe taking a peek once in a while is not a plan.

You’ll want to take some time to figure out all of the things that are going to stop you from achieving this goal of yours, write them down.

These are all of your obstacles.

How are you going to overcome these obstacles?

Write all of your ideas down, these are your action steps.

These steps are going to go on your calendar.

Yes, you’re going to decide when you’ll do them and schedule them.

Keeping in your head is not a plan.

Evaluation.

This is probably my favorite part.

Not the part I thought was going to be my favorite.

Sitting down every month, every quarter, and seeing in black and white what I’ve done, what I didn’t do and where those steps got me.

Magic.

Those evaluations revitalized me.

They got me excited, again, about what I was doing in my life.

Now I have a bonus tip that without, makes this, and any goal setting process, unsuccessful.

Mind Management.

The process of working through my self coaching, and having my very own coach show me what is going on in my brain, is what truly makes this process different from any other I’ve attempted.

The best laid out program, strategies with evaluations, mean nothing when we’re unable to look at the results we’re getting and be able to figure out how to get the results we want.

Taking the steps to achieve your impossible goal for the year is a process that will change you and force you to grow into your next best version, or two or three.

Today’s you will never be able to achieve your planned impossible goal but who you become along the way to achieving that goal is the person who can achieve that goal.

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Myย Awaken(TheTrue)Youย program is for people who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Eitherย book your call nowย orย send me an emailย with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this it and join myย mailing listย where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.