Your Top Three Emotions And How They Reveal The Results In Your Life

Feelings, or emotions, it seems like a bunch of wasted time to look at them, right?

Wrong.

Read on to find out why they are so important.

Feelings start in our brain. They are caused by something that we are thinking, when we feel the emotion, the brain sends out chemicals to the body, these chemicals create vibrations in the body.

Feelings are the third line in the Thought Model, they are a one word emotion that drives the actions you take with the things you do on a daily basis.

I have found that we as humans are pretty numb to our emotions. Discovering what emotions we are feeling is one of the first, and fundamental, things I teach.

Think about it for a moment, everything we want in life is because of how we think it will make us feel.

So now, think about what you want.

Then ask yourself what you really, really want (insert Spice Girl Wannabe lyrics).

Lastly, ask yourself how you think you’ll feel when you get what you really want.

BINGO!

You want the feeling that thing will give you.

The next question I’ll ask is how you can create that feeling now?

This is the magical work I do with my Awaken(TheTrue)You program clients.

I help them start to fill that void the have in their life. I teach them how to stop attempting to fill it with external things.

Once they are able to start closing that void their brain is free to start focusing on what they really, truly want in their life.

Then we start creating it.

They step off of their hamster wheel and into the life of their dreams.

They start creating the results that they didn’t even realize they wanted to create.

It’s beautiful.

Let’s keep moving forward with some more awareness activities.

Ask yourself what your top three most common emotions are on a daily basis and why you feel them.

Here’s a list to get you started.

If you’re feeling brave go ahead and describe each feeling, then how you deal with each one.

Then ask yourself what are the top three emotions you want to have on a daily basis and why.

If you felt this way on a daily basis how might you show up differently in your life?

Showing up the way you want to show up will change your life forever.

The best part?

You don’t even need to change any of the external things in your life for this to happen, like your job, your boss, spouse, child, friend, state, car, house.

If you struggle with feeling joy, excitement, enthusiasm, responsible, determined, proud and want help changing the results you are currently getting in your life then let’s find some time to chat. Let’s talk about whether working with me might be a fit for the next step in your life, you can book your free session here or send me an email with days and times that will work for you.

Make today the first day of the best days of your life!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Guilt Explained So You Can Start Stopping It

After hearing my master coach instructor Jody Moore explain guilt in a plain and simple fashion, my mind exploded a bit. I compared it to how I experienced guilt and then I quickly went on a mission to terminate my ongoing relationship with guilt.

Guilt is when you have two different things you want to do at the same time, choosing to do one and then feeling guilty that you didn’t choose the other.

Have you committed to doing one thing and now regret your decision, causing you to think about backing out? This too could cause guilt but I would beg you to consider why you originally agreed to the commitment. Did you agree out of a place of wanting to make the other person happy? If so, you may want to read my article on people pleasing. If you’re not wanting to do something you committed to maybe something has changed for you between the commitment and now, in that case you could save yourself time and energy by either declining or just following through.  Otherwise it’s quite possible that you agreed out of a place of wanting that person to like you for saying yes to them.

This used to happen to me all of the time and of course I was a people pleaser on top of it all so I would say yes to things I didn’t truly want to do, then of course when they rolled around I would not want to go and then feel guilty about it.

In order to help you understand what happens I’m going to run through an example:

It’s Friday and your girlfriend sends you a message asking if you want to go to dinner after work. It’s sounds like an amazing idea, you haven’t seen her in forever. Then you remember that you had been planning on heading straight home to your lounge clothes and snuggling up with that good book you started last week.

Let’s pretend you say no, you go home after work, and feel guilty about not saying yes to the dinner date.

Let’s do a thought model on this scenario:

You’re thinking “I should have said yes” which is causing you to feel guilty, which makes you ruminate about what you should have done, beat yourself up for not being a good friend, not enjoy your book or the couch or your evening at all, you maybe even think about sending her a message to see if the offer is still valid.

Result: you say no to you.

When I see myself doing this sort of silly nonsense I stop that nasty guilt right in it’s tracks and start changing my model. Let me show you how:

I decide that I want my result to be that I say yes to me in this scenario.

In order to get this result I decide to be all in with this decision, stop wasting time and energy ruminating and beating myself up, do what I said I was going to do and enjoy it thoroughly and find time in the future to create an amazing time with my girlfriend.

In order to follow through with these actions I will need to feel something like self confident, courageous, self love.

To feel self confident I will need to think something like “I am going to follow through on my original plan.”

Using the thought model to help me see the result of my thoughts helps me clean up my brain and start thinking in a way that gives me the results that I want in my life.

This is how you start getting out of your own way.

I hope this helps you to be able to look at how guilt is playing out for you in your life and then allow you to also start eliminating it.

If you struggle with guilt and feel like you would like further help stepping out of it, I would love to walk you through it, I’ve got you! Set up a program inquiry session or send me an email with your questions. I make it my mission to help people like you set themselves free from guilt so they can move into their purposeful life.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Operating Manuals We Have For People & Why They Don’t Work

When I first heard of the concept of an operating manual for people in our lives my eyes became focused on a key problem I had going on in my life.

I had these manuals for so many people in my life.

I had all of these expectations of how people should show up, how they should act in order to make me happy.

When they didn’t act the way I expected them to then I would get angry, frustrated, annoyed, sad.

I was putting the power of how I felt in the hands of other people.

This is when I started working on changing.

I decided to work on not judging others for what they do and I decided that when I wanted someone to do something for me I would do it for them.

I didn’t want to share my  manuals with other people, I wanted to throw them all away.

I want people to be themselves, whatever that looks like for them, and for me to not have an attachment to that.

I’ll admit that this is a journey and a process that I have not yet perfected and probably never will 100%.

If you have people in your life that aren’t doing the things you want them to do then I would ask you to consider asking yourself why you want them to do the things. If it’s to create happiness for yourself then take action and do the thing for yourself, make yourself happy.

We can ask people to do things for us in our lives but having an attachment to if they do it, how they do it or even when they do it is just manipulation.

I would guess that you don’t like being manipulated so the sooner that you can end doing it to others the sooner you will start creating your own happiness.

I’d love to talk more about manuals and how they might be interfering with your own happiness.

I’d love to help you take your power back by showing you how to throw those manuals you have away.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Steps To Walk Through Your Depression

I’m going to start this off stating that depression is a serious thing. The “tackling depression” tactics that I am going to talk about today can be applied to any type of depression, yet there are individual cases where depression is truly dark. 


I’m talking dark, as in no light. 


You yourself will want to take the steps to be able to recognize what your depression looks like for you. You may want to seek the guidance of a medical professional who can help you sort through a possible need for a medication program to help you sort through your journey. 


Yet, even if your journey is truly that dark, I want you to know that there absolutely is hope. There is beautiful light on the other side of the valley you are currently walking through. 


I promise this. 


Just waiting for it to end could be a way of processing but seeking guidance out of love and compassion for yourself is the shortest path through to the other side. 

It is the most beautiful path as well.


When we work through whatever is bringing us down we always discover something new about ourselves.

When we just wait for it to pass, just keep trudging on, in my experience, there isn’t much discovery in the process.

This week has been one of those weeks for me. 


It actually feels foreign. 


This thought alone gives me relief. Depression was a way of life for me in the past, I used to drag it around like a heavy sled. I know, who knew, I truly was the masquerade master.

Experiencing it now is actually opening up for me the reality that I have cut loose so many ties to that sled. 


My norm now is freedom, so thank you depression for opening up my eyes to this truth.


How I am handling the depression is also different. Let me share how.

Become curious about what is happening for you.

For me the art of being curious about why this is actually occurring in my body is an interesting process. The old me would have ignored it, pushed it into the corner and put something fancy and falsely beautiful in front of it, hello facade. 


This week I have been holding it in my hands, being kind and compassionate towards it, allowing it to express itself yet not prohibit me from moving forward with my days. 

This in of itself feels so much better. More expansive. Less tight and uncomfortable. The knowledge not that I never will experience depression again, but that I now have the tools to process it. To use it as information for what is happening for me in the moment.

Use The Model to help you see what is happening for you.

This tool helps you with the awareness I shared above. It helps you to see what might be happening for you. It helps you to sort through the messiness your brain is presenting to you. It helps you to see some truth and allow you to move forward while accepting that this is a part of your current journey.

The model is also a tool that will help you see the result you are getting with whatever thoughts your brain is giving to you, this then gives you the option of choosing a different thought. A different thought will get you a different result.

Listen up.

This is not about faking it by ignoring what is happening for you. This is about choosing thoughts that will work for you.

Let me share an example by sharing a bit of my thought downloads from the week.

“This stinks. My life is miserable. I don’t have time for this. I can’t do this. I’ll never get this done. I should just give this up. I should just stay in bed. Maybe I’ll just take the day off. I am strong. I can handle anything. This is perfect. This is happening. This won’t beat me. Hello brain, I see what you’re doing. This is happening and I don’t like it. Maybe I need more caffeine. I should go take a nap. Of course this is happening.”

If I were to stay with the thought that “I can’t do this” it would make me feel defeated causing me to complain, ruminate, feel sorry for myself, beat myself up, etc, creating a result of not getting anything done. Perfect evidence for the thought “I can’t do this.”

Instead I chose the thought “I can handle anything”, this makes me feel strong, this propels me forward to do my tasks and honor my commitments, to hold my funk in a place of compassion and curiosity but not let it control me, love myself and share my journey instead of hide or fake it, be curious about what is happening, the result I get from this new thought is I completely handle my commitments and my funk.

Lastly.

Share your journey with a friend.

Sharing it helps to heal it. Sometimes a friend doesn’t feel right and sometimes it just might be wrong. That’s where I come in. I’m the friend that cares and does more than just listen and then give you unsolicited advice. I listen. I show you your brain. I show you how to hold it in a place of compassion. I show you how to allow the discomfort without allowing it to consume you.

I help you walk through until you’re ready to set it free.

This my friends is beautiful.

This my friends is not faking it.

This allows you to travel through your experiences, negative and positive, from a place of curiosity, learning and growing along the way.

Friend, if you are in a dark season and want to know more about how to move through it from a place of compassion for yourself, I’d love to walk through with you. This doesn’t need to be an awful experience. Use it to grow, learn and love yourself.

I’m over here waiting for you.

My mission is you. Helping you become your true you. Let’s go!

I’m just an email away.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Why You’re Feeling Like A Fraud

Imposter Syndrome, let’s start with a good old Google definition.

The persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.

Friends, listen up.

It does not matter what you do to create value in this world: full time (part time) moms, entrepreneurs, corporate partner, CEO, baristas, bank manager, doctor, nurse, police officer, fire fighter, teacher, professor, artist, yoga instructor, athlete, keynote speakers; anyone can experience imposter syndrome.

Let me share a story with you and get super vulnerable, again.

I launched On Track Training, which morphed into Team On Track, a highly successful coaching and sporting event promotion business, thirty years ago. Before people even knew what personal training was.

I spent most of those thirty years embarrassed of what I did. I told the story of how I was so much smarter than that. How went to school for Chemical Engineering then went into the School of Journalism and got a Graphic Design certificate, worked as a Graphic Designer before stepping into this role as an expert at transforming people’s lives. I was smart.

I still totally thought I was a fraud.

After all of the work I have done these past two years I shake my head at all of this because I know how much of a lie it was.

Thirty years!

I share that with you because those of you who know me from that business would never even guess that I felt this way.

Of course you wouldn’t, I had the outer facade game down!

I knew how to play the role of looking like I knew what I was doing.

Of course, now I know that I knew what I was doing, I knew well, I just didn’t have the self confidence needed to believe it.

In a nutshell imposter syndrome comes from us thinking that we’re just not enough, that soon someone is going to figure it out and call us out on it.

Probably even fire us, put us out on the street, unemployed, ruined and broke

It’s ok because there is a solution.

Once you build up your self worth.

Once you build up your self confidence.

Once you learn how to start loving yourself.

Once you start being willing to let people be wrong about you.

Once you stop rejecting yourself.

Once you become unwilling to reject yourself because of others who may reject you.

Once you step on this journey to discovering the true you and start stepping fully into that, the imposter syndrome slowly fades away into the distance.

Oh, your brain will want to remind you that you’re not good enough but you can’t blame it. You’ve spent your whole life conditioning it to believe this lie. No fear though, once you’ve done this work you will recognize the lie.

You will know how to love your brain for reminding you and then gently be able to tell it that it is wrong.

That you are no longer that person.

You are no longer going to allow yourself to listen to that lie.

The other thing I will tell you, you can put this all into The Thought Model, that the thought that you are an imposter is just that.

A thought.

Not a circumstance.

When you think that you’re an imposter it will generate a feeling of something like incompetence which is going to make you show up less than you truly are capable of showing up giving you the result of acting like an imposter.

It’s way better to just believe that you are completely qualified for what you are doing and feel confident. This will make you show up knocking it out of the park which creates the result of doing quality work.

If you are getting tired of fighting yourself. If you are tired of getting in your own way. If a solution to this problem sounds like hitting the lottery but better, then I would love to talk to you about my Awaken (The True) You program.

My program will take you from not fully being on board with yourself to being your best asset.

The impact this will have in your life is to give you the freedom you have been desperately yearning for.

You can book your free consult here or send me an email with some days and times that work for you, I’ll make one of them happen.

You can also get more help by getting my newsletter directly in your inbox, sign up today so you can start feeling better today.

 

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Why Someone Else Isn’t Causing Your Feelings

It’s what I used to think.

I used to get so mad when people didn’t act like I thought they should.

I spent so much time and energy trying to change people in my head.

Thank God I now know differently because now I have complete freedom to feel however I want, no matter what anyone else says or does.

I now have so much more energy to focus on things that matter.

It’s true that other people don’t cause our feelings but yet it’s not what we’re taught.

I beg you to read on so that you can grasp what I’m saying and start the process of changing.

If you’re a mentor for young children, please read this so you can start changing the way you teach the next generation.

We’re taught that what we do or what others do to us is what causes how we feel, this is a lie.

“You’ll make grandpa sad if you don’t give him a kiss goodbye.”

“If you don’t put your toys away mommy is going to get mad.”

“He’s angry because I didn’t do what he said I should do.”

These things simply aren’t true.

If grandpa gets sad because the kids don’t give him a hug and a kiss then that’s on grandpa. IF grandpa actually does get sad  it’s only because he has a thought that creates sadness for him. The actual circumstance has nothing to do with it. Grandpa might actually be quite happy whether the kids give him a kiss or not, don’t set your kids up to learn that they actually have to do something to make someone feel loved.

If you ask your child to put their toys away and tell them that if they don’t you’re going to get mad, it’s not because they didn’t put the toys away. It’s because you have a thought that makes you mad about the fact that they didn’t do what you asked them to do, the fact is completely neutral. Getting mad and then acting out on that emotion just teaches your children that they are the manipulators of your actions. The question to ask yourself is what are you making this mean? Why do you think the kids aren’t putting their toys away? Do you think it has anything to do with you?

If your boyfriend is mad at you because you’re not doing what he thinks you should do, then what would it say about you if you did what he thinks you should do just to make him feel better? It says that you are a people pleaser because you are only doing it to make him feel better and not doing what you think you should do. Your boyfriend gets to think whatever he wants to think and if he choses a thought that makes him mad then he has just given you power over his emotions. This is none of your business and all his.

For myself, I learned at an early age to seek love outside of myself. I didn’t realize that I was love, that I had value, that I was enough so I put my love in the hands of others. How people treated me was an indicator of my lovability so I did everything I could to make sure that people liked me. This put me in such a disempowered position because if someone didn’t show me love in return then I made that mean something about me.

People are allowed to have opinions about us and what we do, their opinion doesn’t mean anything about us, unless you make it.

People get to do whatever they want to do and if it makes you feel a certain way it’s because of the thought you are having about what they are doing.

People can get mad at you because of something you do or don’t do but that is completely on them.

One thing that helped release me from resentment and anger was allowing myself to accept that people can have their own opinions and those opinions may not be the same as mine. That people may have opinions about what I do or don’t do and that it is completely ok. People can think whatever they want about me and what I’m doing but when I have confidence in myself then it doesn’t make me mad, resentful or disempowered.

One last thing I want to share is on emotional childhood.

Emotional childhood is when we blame other people for how we are feeling. Emotional childhood puts our emotions in the hands of others which is a strong motivator for me to be curious about what is happening for me.

There are a few specific situations where I still get stuck in a thought loop causing a feeling that puts me in a place of disempowerment. This is where my coach makes all of the difference. She helps me to see what is keeping me stuck, helps me wiggle out of it and sets me free to go create magic. Some situations are easier to get out of than others, thought patterns that have been with us for a while take some time to work through but taking your power back opens you up to so much more of the life you were created to live.

 

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

The Only Tool Needed To Create The Life Of Your Dreams

Are you tired of the negative thought patterns?

Tired of your brain winning out over your goals to not eat cake?

Tired of feeling at the effect of how other people show up in your life?

So was I and I am on a mission to share how I broke free from myself and took control of my brain.

I first heard about this tool from my Master Coach instructor Brooke Castillo while listening to her podcasts. I heard her talk about it multiple times and basically conceptualized the tool but hadn’t done the work to actually apply it.

You see, I had gotten to a point in my life where I was tired.

I was tired of creating a facade,  of living a different life out in the world from what I lived in private.

I was tired of not just letting go of my past life story and being me, in every life situation.

I was tired of feeling empty.

I was tired of the hate relationship I had with my body.

I was tired of putting my emotions in the hands of others.

So I started the journey by first finding a therapist.

That was ok. Let’s just say it got me moving forward and allowed me to start focusing within.

My therapist wasn’t onboard with the teachings of The Life Coach School but they seemed to resonate and move me into action way more than anything else I was doing. So I started applying what I was hearing instead of just consuming the information.

The first place I started was with this tool I had heard so much about but just couldn’t seem to grasp.

I couldn’t grasp it because I wasn’t actually using it.

This may not be news to you but when you buy all of the tools and supplies that the YouTube video says you need to fix your leaky faucet, you actually need to learn how to use the tools first. The leaky faucet doesn’t just fix itself by you watching the video and having the correct tools.

I know, mind blow.

Let me introduce to you:

The Thought Model

The thought model consists of five components and it is the foundation of everything I teach my clients. It is one of the first things I teach as well as the first work they start doing, daily, to help understand how to make themselves achieve anything they desire in their life.

They use it to learn how to create a new, amazing relationship with themselves so they can learn how to blow their own mind.

Here it is in a nutshell:

Circumstances are the facts around the problem you are experiencing.

Thoughts are the thoughts you are thinking about your circumstance.

Feelings are caused by our thoughts.

Actions are what we do based on the emotion that thought creates for us.

Results are the result of the actions we take based on the feeling the thought generates, and our result is always a direct reflection of the thought we are having about our particular circumstance.

You might be asking how this tool can create the life of your dreams.

First, I suggest you just trust me.

Second, I suggest you try utilizing it.

Third, let me explain just a bit.

You see, when we can see the result of the the thoughts we are thinking about our particular circumstance, it gives us a clearer picture of our current results and why we are getting them, this is called our unintentional model.

This in of itself will get the brain to start becoming more aware and willing to see the truth of your problem, then it can start coming up with possible solutions.

The other part I haven’t told you yet is that, from here we can then create what we call an intentional model. Though awareness is where I ask my clients to sit in for a bit before they try to change their situation, there is the ability to fast forward into what we call an intentional model, a place where we really want to be in our life but feel like it’s completely impossible.

I have news for you, it is completely possible.

The place between where we are now and where we want to be is often called the River Of Misery, it’s the hard work we do to overcome our brain and get to the other side, our intentional model.

For my clients the other side of the river is where they are the hero in their life. Where they get to start achieving their impossible. Where they actually start to end the closing of the door to themselves and learn how to open that door. They learn how to throw that door wide open and let it flood them with the beauty of their intended beautiful life.

It allows them to open the door to freedom.

I have a simple model document that breaks down the model and it’s components in more detail and I would love to share with you. All you need to do is send me an email and I’ll get it off to you so you can start applying this tool in your own life.

If this sounds like something you’d love to explore for yourself or if you know someone who might want to hear this information then I’d to chat. I do free consults for people who want to break free from themselves and start living life on purpose.

You deserve this my friend, let me show you how to be the hero of your life story.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Three Ways To Bring Romance Back Into Your Relationship

There was a time when you were truly in love with your spouse, like you wanted to spend every moment with them, they were the center of your life.

Now of course you love them, but really, you can’t stand them. If they would just do all of the things you needed them to do, say all of the things you want them to say, then life would be happily ever after.

Often times in the beginning of relationships we do all of the things that will make the other person show us love in return. We aren’t our true selves, we’re looking for love from outside of ourselves.

If this is the case we typically haven’t learned how to generate love for ourselves. As the relationship starts getting comfortable, or as the old saying goes, once the honeymoon is over, we get tired of the work that goes into trying to get someone to make us feel good.

We start to resent the fact that they aren’t just doing the same things they did, to make us feel good, even though we’re not doing the same things we used to do to generate the reactions that they gave us the feeling of love.

This is the beginning of the breakdown.

We don’t really pay too much attention in the beginning of the breakdown but as time goes on we start to wonder if there is any hope.

I have some amazing news my loves, there most definitely is.

I know this because this was me in my marriage.

Even better news is that you don’t even need your partner to be a part of your game to re-create a hot, steamy, romantic, loving, fun relationship.

All it takes is you.

Ready? Let’s start this!

Make a list of all of the things you want your love to do and then, do it for them.

I know, this most likely isn’t the first thing you wanted to hear but honestly, why do you want them to do the thing? Because YOU want it done? To make YOU happy? Then I suggest you do something amazing for yourself and do that thing for yourself OR just choose to let that thing not be done.

When we put our happiness in the hands of others we are bound to be let down, over and over again.

My guess is you have an operating manual for your spouse. A manual that lists all of the things you want them to do to make you happy. It’s even possible that if you typed the manual out and gave it to them and they actually followed it, that you still wouldn’t be happy.

The best thing I have done is put my happiness in my own hands, not in the hands of someone else.

You know what’s perfect about this? I know exactly what I want and I can either take care of it myself or politely ask my spouse to do it for me but if he doesn’t I have to take my power back and make sure I take care of myself.

I hear your argument. I know them all because they were mine. What I learned is that I was never fully happy putting my happiness in the hands of someone else.

Neither will you.

Challenge yourself to do something uncomfortable.

Step number one might be that one thing. Maybe it is putting that laundry basket away even though it had your husband’s clothing in it. When you take the focus off of why he’s not doing it and focus on the fact that it’s you that will feel amazing when it’s put away, you take back your control.

I’m thinking something even more uncomfortable but the above could be a start. I’m thinking more along the lines of hmmmm….when’s the last time you gave your spouse a long hug and told them how much you appreciate everything they do (not for you) and really say it from the heart?

Feel uncomfortable? Why? What is it you fear?

I challenge you to actually take a moment to stop and answer those two questions. Then ask yourself what it would feel like to do the same thing from a place of self confidence in your ability to do something for yourself. From a place of doing it because it would feel good for YOU.

Write down 10 things you love about your spouse.

Put them on a note in your phone and every morning open that note and read it out loud to yourself.

When we are stuck in a negative thought pattern your brain is conditioned to continue to feed more negative thoughts to you. It’s just helping you out and doing what it is designed to do.

You have to be deliberate about how you direct your thoughts or your brain will always revert to finding what is wrong.

When you tell your brain to look for the positive it will start looking for what you are asking it.

This is going to take you some time, it did for me anyway. I had been so focused on everything he was doing wrong that I just couldn’t think of anything positive. I started with this: he is my husband, he married me, he loves me. If you have to start with one thing then start with the one and just tell your brain to keep looking. Every day add something new to the list.

Soon you will notice yourself starting to feel better.

Soon you will notice the spark coming back.

Be patient friend, that fire has been out for a while, that fire pit is wet and soggy, it’s going to take more than a few swipes of the match to dry it out and then build it to an inferno.

I absolutely love hearing the fun love stories that come back into people’s relationships, all because of the work on one person’s part.

 I love seeing the smile on my client’s faces when they tell me something loving they did.

Not to get someone to love them.

To show themselves how much they love themselves.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

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