Marital Jealousy And How To Let It Go Ep 16

Marital Jealousy And How To Let It Go | Relationship Coach

Jealousy is an emotion that most of us have felt on some level in our romantic relationships and is quite different from envy, a word often used interchangeably. Today I’ll chat a bit about the difference between the two while focusing on jealousy within romantic relationships and how it can bring up emotions that can push our relationship apart if we don’t recognize the root of why we are feeling this emotion. I will also share how to address jealousy to best support our own mental health and wellness. Let’s dig into what marital jealousy is and how you can start the process of letting go and building a more connected relationship with your partner.

Let’s first look at the definition of envy:

Envy, from Wikipedia, is an emotion that occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.

First, let’s look at our reasons for wishing someone lacked the quality, achievement, or possession. Wishing someone else lacked that quality that we are feeling envy over is us thinking that we can’t have what they have and because we think we can’t have it, we could feel better about ourselves if that other person didn’t have it.

I actually love being curious when I notice feeling envious of someone’s achievement, quality, or possession. Typically, I will initially notice a feeling of discontent around what someone else is doing or something they have. I notice myself judging them as possibly being irresponsible or maybe better than I am, making me feel inferior. When I become aware that I am judging them, myself, or the circumstance, I enjoy asking myself what it is about what the other person is doing, or what they have, that I wish I could do or wish I had. At this point, I can decide whether I want to pursue what they are going after and doing or if I want to admire them and let go of envy. At this point, I can actually reach out to them from a place of admiration and gratitude. Gratitude because their accomplishment has pushed me to become better and to become aware of a weakness in myself and admiration for their ability to step into fulfilling a desire in their life.

All of our emotions are signals that we want to be aware of, just like the traffic signals; if we ignore them, we will eventually get to a place where we are hurting and become victim to the emotion or a place of dissatisfaction in ourselves because we aren’t stretching and growing into our capability. When we can slow down, pause, use the signal to help us decide where we want to go next, we can let the emotion guide us to a place of spacious, conscious thinking that allows us to let go or open up to a new adventure in our life. When we’re able to process the emotion of envy, it can open us to inspiration around something we’ve been wanting to do but haven’t allowed ourselves permission to do so.

The definition of jealousy:

Jealousy, according to Wikipedia, generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety.

Jealousy is a human relational experience that becomes evident in the early ages of human development and envelopes other emotional aspects like anger, resentment, fear, inadequacy, worthlessness, disgust. When we look at jealousy within the confines of marriage, it can tear a relationship apart and cause a couple to create distance between themselves. Still, when we look at it from a different perspective, we can see jealousy as a place where you can work on your own personal growth.

Oftentimes, jealousy is rooted in low self-esteem, lack of self-compassion, self-trust, fear of unmet needs. It is often insecurity within ourselves around our desirability, ability, and worthiness to be a good partner, and we project that insecurity onto our partner. Seeing this fear within ourselves opens up a beautiful opportunity to dig in, explore, look inward and grow.

Going back to listen to episode 1 (How To Start Loving Yourself), episode 10 (One Simple Way To See If You Trust Yourself), and then episode 12 (Three Steps To Building Self Trust) will help you start taking steps to build your self-confidence and allow you to start the process of letting go of the grip jealousy might have in your marriage relationship.

When we start looking at our jealous feelings, we start looking at what is going on within ourselves and see what is triggering the emotional response. Learning how to process your emotions helps you to see where the weak link inside of you might be and then opens up your mind to the possibility of creating a conversation around what you are experiencing without putting the blame on your partner.

When we start looking inward, becoming aware of the fear that is arising within ourselves, and then do the work of processing through what thoughts are coming up for us, we can start separating out what is simply insecurity within ourselves and possibly something we might want to discuss with our partner. If we choose to have a conversation with our partner, it will come after taking time to access and manage, coming up with what you might say and how you will say it in a way that centers around you and your thoughts and feelings, without placing any blame on them for creating how you feel. We can state the circumstance, and what thoughts it generated for us, and how those thoughts made us feel; we do this process through a thought download (read more about this tool in my post “A Daily Tool To Manage Your Mind”) and then running some of those thoughts through a thought model (learn about what the thought model is and how you can use this tool in my post “Self Coaching Model”) so that we can see how we are producing our current result. When we discover the result that WE are producing and see that it is all being created within ourselves, this is often the point where we can start exploring a different option, an option that feels better for us.

When we’re open to having a conversation about what we are experiencing it opens up a vulnerability in our relationship which helps us create a more deep intimate connection with each other and helps create awareness for both parties. These conversations will often open us up to a different option for ourselves and for our partner. We went through an intimacy series recently and this type of conversation where you are opening up to how you are feeling helps build emotional intimacy, you can go back to episode 6 to learn more about emotional intimacy and how to increase it in your marriage.

Let’s briefly talk about three different types of relationship jealousy:

Projection jealousy

Projection jealousy is when we are projecting our own thoughts onto our partner. For example, we are being overly aware of our partner’s actions, jealous of things they are doing or saying, and then turning around and seeing how we might be doing the same thing, creating insecurity around ourselves and our relationship. We are projecting ourselves onto our partner to find evidence of how they may be doing the same thing. Possibly we are looking for validation outside of our marriage because we don’t feel like we are getting it within our marriage, so then we are looking for the same thing in our partner’s actions instead of focusing on ourselves, validating ourselves, and treating our partner the way we want to be treated.

Protection jealousy

Protection jealousy comes when we want to protect ourselves from something that we think might hurt us. It could show up as us attempting to control our partner’s actions to feel better and feel safe. An example could be checking your partner’s email or text messages to protect yourself from something that might be happening that could tear your relationship apart. When we build trust in ourselves, we start letting go of the control we have been placing on our relationship; we’re not ignorant to what is going on in our relationship, we’re actually more in tune with what is happening because we are engaging with our partner instead of sneaking around, focusing on something that isn’t building up the relationship and not trusting them.

Building our self-trust and self-confidence brings us awareness when we feel negative emotions and helps us dig into the why’s of that emotion versus placing the why in the hands of our partner. It empowers us to create the change we want without waiting and needing our partner to do it for us. We actually have a clearer focus of what we are creating in our relationship and trust that we are building a loving, connected, intimate bond with our partner.

Competition jealousy

Competition jealousy is when we are jealous of what we see other people getting and feeling jealousy that we aren’t getting that attention. When we look at this in our marriage, we could look at it from the perspective of scarcity, that we feel like there isn’t enough love and attention to go around, that it all has to be directed to us and if it’s being directed towards our spouse it means we are lacking. I really believe that there is plenty of love to go around when we manage our minds, and we see how emotions like jealousy are limiting our ability and capacity to love. When we take a look at the thought creating this type of jealousy, we will often find that we do not share the love that we wish we were getting, thus depriving us of the love in return.

Feeling the green eyes of jealousy isn’t such a bad thing; it means that we want something from our partner that we feel we aren’t getting for ourselves. We can let this green monster make us angry and resentful, have us pulling away from our partners, taking us further away from the relationship we want or, we can use it as a sign of love and compassion we have for our partner. A signal of an area for us to grow and a way to share with our partner how we would like to be treated and shown love and affection, an opportunity to be the one to take the action that you wish he would take.

Today could be the day where you take your jealousy and use it to pull yourself closer to your partner instead of pushing them away. If you are feeling jealous of your partner and are struggling with how to move out of it, I would love to have a conversation with you about the ways you can turn that jealousy into learning more about who you are and what you want in your marriage. You can book either a free coaching session or a program inquiry call today and notice how that action alone will create some ease in your life!

I am a life coach who works with individuals to break down relationship barriers by awakening their true self. My process isn’t about changing your partner, it’s about discovering who you are so that you can AwakenYou in your marriage. If you’re ready to take your life and your love relationship to the next level then schedule your program inquiry call today and let’s decide together if this is your next step to creating the life you’ve been dreaming of.

Three Steps To Building Self Trust Ep 12

Three Steps To Building Self Trust | Relationship Coach

Today I had a consult with a woman who was having a difficult time making a decision, so I started asking some questions about actions she was taking, or not taking in her life. She didn’t trust her boss and then she admitted to several other people she didn’t trust, ultimately uncovering that she didn’t trust herself either. With her being able to uncover her distrust in herself, she could see the potential impact that could come from doing the work of building a trusting relationship in herself so she could let go of her lack of trust in others. Two weeks ago, we looked at one simple way to see if you trust yourself; please go back and listen to that episode if you haven’t already, it is episode 10, One Simple Way To See If You Trust Yourself, and this week, we will start working on that trust relationship. Today we’ll be looking at three steps you can start taking to build trust in yourself.

In episode 10, I shared some prompts for you to start becoming aware of how often you unknowingly let yourself down, thus building up that lack of trust in yourself. Those prompts included taking some time at the end of the day to take a look back and notice how many of the things you told yourself you would do, were actually followed through on. Then I asked you to look at what you didn’t follow through on and ask yourself why. That exercise was an exercise of self-awareness, not an exercise to look at all of the ways you are failing in life. Awareness is always the first step to creating change. I help my clients look at this newfound awareness with curiosity and empathy while exploring how we might want to start navigating towards something new.

Let’s look at three ways to start building self trust

Learn how to follow through on things you tell yourself you’re going to do.

This is, in my opinion, the most important step you can take and the easiest one to start implementing because it is actionable. When I say it’s actionable, I mean that you can start paying attention and prioritizing the items you want to be doing in your life. You can get them out of your head and schedule them on your calendar. This step is part math because once we get all of our desired actions out of our head and onto a piece of paper, we can create a process for prioritizing and scheduling. We can start to see that there is only so much time in the day, a portion of which you want to be sleeping and another portion is your time at work, so now you have to start determining how long each item will take and where you are going to fit it into your weekly puzzle.

Here is where you begin to notice what your brain starts to do. You begin to see how much time you have left to yourself, and you start squeezing all of the things into those time spaces.

Here is where you get to start running experiments to see how your plan is working. Did you allow enough time for the item you scheduled? Did you take more time with your allotted task and steal time from the next item you had scheduled? Did your item pop up on your schedule, and you decided it wasn’t something you really wanted to do at the moment, so you did something different? This is where experimentation with your scheduling and daily planning comes into play. You learn more about ending your time management battle and start figuring out how to honor what you said you want to do. When we look at what we want to do and work on the implementation of learning how to do what we say we’re going to do, it is never a process that tears you down for doing it wrong. It is a process of trial and error and managing what is going on in your head to learn and move forward.

Let’s look at something you want to follow through on; let’s use my relationship huddle as an example. You can read about the relationship huddle in my previous blog, where I teach you how to create a twenty-minute meeting that will forever change your relationship.

  • To begin, I like to write down my reasons for wanting to do what it is I am telling myself I want to do, as well as all of the reasons I don’t want to. This step alone helps me be all in on my reason for making room in my calendar for this item, and it also allows me to decide if it isn’t important so I can let it go, kick it out from consuming space in my head.
  • Then I like to write down all of the reasons I’m not doing the said item; what is in the way of me following through? It is always something I am thinking which is causing a feeling that drives me not to do what I say I want to do. It’s important to uncover this blurry obstacle that is keeping me from following through and building trust in myself.
  • Then it’s time to start coming up with a plan for moving forward. Please write it down, schedule it, walk through and bring to light emotions that keep you from moving forward.
  • Then start playing around with what emotions you will need to be feeling in order to follow through on your meeting, knowing that sometimes fear and discomfort might be two of the emotions that will have to come alongside courageousness.
  • Another tool I like to use is to look forward to what it will be like when I have followed through on what I told myself to do. I work on embracing and experiencing how proud and powerful I will feel.
  • Then I move forward boldly. When that item comes up on the calendar, I watch what comes up for me; I remember who I will be after I follow through; I embrace whatever discomfort is coming up and do what I said I would do.
  • Lastly, I plan time to look back and evaluate (is there a post I can link?)
  • Rinse and repeat.

The more you do this process, the more you start to trust yourself, EVEN if you don’t follow through because you start building a process for following through, and you start building a belief in yourself that you will figure this out. This is what builds self-trust, not that everything turns out as you expect but that you gave it your best and used it to learn and grow and move forward.

Learn how to experience any emotion.

You can see from the step I just walked you through that learning to become aware of emotions you are experiencing is one of the first things you will have to do to start following through. The main reason you are not following through is because of an emotion you aren’t willing to experience at the moment. Instead, you are choosing something that feels better at the moment, at your own expense.

Learning how to experience any emotion is a large part of what I help my clients with while they are going through the process of creating the romantic relationship they dream of. Taking steps to make this happen in your life is usually a bit uncomfortable, change is uncomfortable, sometimes so much that we choose to be more comfortable with what we are unhappy with. When that discomfort of doing something to help your relationship grow becomes more desirable than the comfort of staying the same, that’s when and where the magic in your relationship can start happening.

Make a decision to change your opinion of yourself.

As you start doing this work, you will also want to start looking at your self-belief, what you believe you are capable of, what you believe you are worthy of achieving. You will have to start peeling back the layers that keep you from loving yourself fully and believing that you are strong, lovable, capable, worthy, and competent. As you start creating this belief, self-trust starts becoming part of who you are and what you do. If you go back to episode one, How To Start Loving Yourself, you will learn this is something you can start believing today; you can decide and be done. Of course, your brain will keep coming back to offer you that old, conditioned thought to think, but today is the day you can begin to change that thought into one that will serve you best. This decision will build self-trust, self-confidence, and your best marital experience ever.

Building trust is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your marriage. Trusting others starts with you. Join AwakenYou, and let’s start the process together!

I am a life coach who works with individuals to break down relationship barriers by awakening their true self. My process isn’t about changing your partner, it’s about discovering who you are so that you can AwakenYou in your marriage. If you’re ready to take your life and your love relationship to the next level then schedule your program inquiry call today and let’s decide together if this is your next step to creating the life you’ve been dreaming of.

Is Fear Pushing You Apart?

🎧 Prefer to listen to the audio version? Click here!

Lately, I have been exploring the emotion of fear in my own life and how it is holding me back from taking powerful steps forward in my journey to develop the close, loving relationship I desire with my husband. The realization became profound when I was actually observing fear of a different kind, fear around a decision. I discovered how I was making decisions based on fear, meaning I was looking at what could go wrong and basing my decision on which choice would “hurt” the least. When I saw this scarcity/protective thinking, I decided to ask a better question. I decided to ask how my decision could be awesome? How could this decision create amazing abundance in my life?

I want to invite you to join me as I ask some tough questions about why we aren’t doing the things that will actually move us forward faster, getting us the results we want instead of the same old stale results that we aren’t happy with.

Fear might be why you aren’t doing that which you want to be doing, but do you really understand what you are afraid of? In reality, it’s not the emotion of fear that keeps us stuck; it’s more the fear of the emotion that will come up for us if we take that step into the unknown. That step into a place where someone might think something about us, having us thinking something about ourselves that might make us feel stupid or unworthy or unlovable – exposed. The funny thing is that what we’re afraid of feeling is an emotion that we are currently burying because we are already thinking that same thought about ourselves. Confused? That’s ok; let’s dig into it, and let me help clear some things up for you.

Let’s start by looking at the typical areas that I see people repeatedly using as excuses for not creating what they want in their life, especially when it comes to our love relationship.

Fear of the things we have full control over.

Time: Why aren’t you creating time to work on your relationship?

Be honest, answer the question.

Every day people tell me that they don’t have time to work on themselves or their relationship. We are constantly putting ourselves on the back burner until something drastic happens. This “drastic” event now has us putting out fires that could have been avoided had we prioritized our time. The truth is that when things come up that are “musts,” we somehow find the time to get them done. Of course, when the car breaks down, you don’t have time or the money to deal with it, but somehow you figure it out. You have a child, of course, you don’t have time or the money to take care of a child, but somehow you figure it out. You get sick; of course, you don’t have time to get better, but divinely, your body has a way of making the time for you.

What if you allowed the fear to be there while you did that which you know will pay off with a rich reward. Fear isn’t stopping you from taking the time to work on yourself and your relationship with your partner; it’s the emotion that comes up when you actually create the time. The shame you might feel when you think you should be doing dishes or laundry instead, the guilt you feel when you think about how you have “neglected” your relationship, feeling stupid that you don’t know where to start, instead of opening up your phone so you can feel better momentarily.

I believe there is an abundant amount of time to do that which is important to me, and this belief serves me well. Ask yourself how important this relationship is to you; maybe it’s really not that important yet, don’t worry because if you wait long enough, the wrong sort of fire will begin to burn. When it does, you will make the time to do the work. I guarantee that work will be a whole lot more uncomfortable than if you prioritize it now. If you want abundance in your love relationship, then my suggestion is to ask yourself to list all of the reasons that taking 15 minutes every day to work on your love relationship is important to you. How will it be exactly what you needed to do?

Money: Why are you afraid to invest in the only thing that will move you forward every single day?

The second place of resistance for most people is the fear of investing money in themselves. People will throw money at all sorts of insignificant material objects as a way to feel better, but why aren’t they taking that money and spending it on something that will payback on that investment over ten-fold? Look at some of the same scenarios I listed with time, when we absolutely need something, like the furnace goes out in the middle of a Minnesota winter, somehow the money shows up.

It makes me sad when I think about how many people don’t believe in their ability to invest in themselves, not reaping the reward of its payoff. Many of us spend the first 20-30 years of our lives investing in our minds, filling it with a bunch of knowledge. Then we run on fumes for the rest of our lives, taking a continuing education class when required but not investing in our minds. We’re afraid of looking in there; we are afraid that we might not be able to figure out the answers, rendering us stupid.

The funny thing is, almost everyone I talk to says the ability to get to the relationship of their dreams and the life of their dreams is something they couldn’t put a price tag on; it’s worth that much to them; until it comes to actually committing. I’ve been there; I was that person; I didn’t believe I could create that dream result, so why bother, until I got desperate. Until I kept trying everything that came my way, still not getting any closer to that dream. Until I learned how to trust myself enough to hire a coach, that’s when I started to see that the best thing I could spend money on was my mind. That investment clearly showed me my scarcity, limited, fearful mindset.

I believe the money we invest in ourselves is worth every penny because it makes me grow; it makes me think outside of my comfort zones; it shows me my weak spots. In my love relationship, it helps me be brave in creating exactly what I want and dedicate every day to doing that work. It helps me dig into why I’m not taking the actions I want to take in my love relationship; it reveals the truth, then allowing me to understand and decide my next steps.

Self Confidence: being all in on yourself

We’re so busy focusing on the outside, trying to get people to like us, trying to get others to open up and talk, and not doing the same ourselves. We are afraid to look inside at why we hate ourselves so much, at why we feel so lost and empty, why we’re scared. Let me tell you something; you will never find what you are looking for in someone else. So many of us are afraid that if we let go of controlling our surroundings, we might drown, but the truth is when you let go and start focusing on yourself, that’s when you learn how to swim.

Remember the saying: a rising tide lifts all boats? You can’t be the rising tide when you are empty inside; you suck up all the water, and everything sinks with you.

Fear of something new

The fear of not knowing what we’re doing; the fear of having to start over. Well, what will you be doing when you lose it all? Doing what you’ve been doing isn’t working, and it is actually pushing you further and further from your goal. It’s not the fear of starting something new and unfamiliar; it’s fear of how you’re going to feel when you think, “I don’t know what I’m doing.” My suggestion is to look at it as a new lease on life; you are purchasing your new self and building it exactly how you want, how you were divinely created to be.

How do you face fear?

Action plan:

I’m going to suggest a few things for you to try, take one and implement it into your daily routine and then let me know what’s working or not working.

  • Time: Schedule 15 minutes every morning before you do anything else, set your alarm 15 minutes earlier than usual, and get out of bed. Take the time to do a thought download, that’s it. Do it every day for seven days. Notice what happens in your mind when it tells you not to take the time, that it really won’t matter, sleep for another 15 minutes. Notice, and then roll on out of that bed anyway.
  • Money: Start keeping track of where every penny goes. Don’t make this hard. Get yourself an old fashioned notebook, every day, write down what you spent money on, and categorize it. Was it essential and necessary, meaning you would die if you hadn’t spent that money? Would they shut off your heat or your electricity? Is it a “luxury” living expense that isn’t necessary: take out, restaurant eating, coffee, non-essential food like liquor, desserts, snacks? Is it a comfort purchase?
  • Solo date: One day a week, plan a date with yourself; it doesn’t need to involve money, go for a walk, ride your bike, sit at the lake, go to a museum and pay attention to your surroundings. Get in touch with yourself and who you really are, take one to two hours to get to know yourself.
  • Planned partner date: Plan something and follow-through, no matter what emotions come up for you. Afterward, take 15 minutes to write about what happened, how you felt, and why.

Whichever idea you decide to go with, I’d like you to pay attention to some of the following things, maybe write them down in a notebook.

  • When you didn’t do what you said you were going to do, ask yourself why. I don’t know isn’t an option, answer the question, ask your brain to calm down and answer. When you continue not to do what you plan to do, you solidify that belief that you have created. The belief that you don’t do what you say you’re going to do. You solidify that lack of trust in yourself. How are you going to change that belief? My recommendation: don’t make it an option, feel uncomfortable, notice how it feels, notice what comes up, breathe through it, and do it anyway.
  • Instead of focusing on all of the things that could go wrong with the action you want to take, list all of the things that could go right. Remember, “wrong” is just something you are thinking, that “wrong” could lead you to the right path.
  • If you do something different, ask yourself why. If you catch yourself in the middle of your scheduled time doing something different, stop yourself and be honest with yourself. Then go down two paragraphs and read.
  • When you don’t do what you said you would do what comes up for you? Shame? Guilt? Anger? Resentment? More feelings for you to look at. Ask yourself why you feel whatever emotion you are feeling, hint: it’s a thought you are thinking.

Lastly, I’d like to suggest three different things to do during the time you have scheduled for yourself and only do one of these three things. Take the time to do what you said you’d do, just sit there, or do a thought download.

Fear is an emotion that keeps us from moving forward and doing that which we really want to do. Taking the time to reflect, do thought downloads, and thought models will help you uncover that emotion that stops you from creating the beautiful relationship you so badly desire. Then ask yourself what is beautiful about the decision to be all in on that which you want to do. Yes, write them all down!

My AwakenYou coaching program is the exact process you need to help you with all of the obstacles you find yourself running up against as you try to figure out how to show up the way you want to show up in your love relationship. I teach you how to overcome all of the objections that you are creating as roadblocks to your best life while having a good time doing it; together let’s knock them all down!

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

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Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

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Social Taboo: Talking Out Loud About Our Struggles

As I was reflecting on a social gathering we had here at the house a few weeks back, it struck me as interesting when I thought about how uncomfortable people get when we openly discuss things that we are struggling with in our lives.

It’s not that I don’t understand why, I mean, I was the queen of covering up my poop 🤣🤣🤣 ! OK, let’s pause a moment because I am completely laughing out loud at myself. The previous sentence was not in my original writing of this post and that sentence was real truth my friends! I just was envisioning my dog Zeta after she does her business, she is adamant about covering up her 💩, sort of like I was 🤣.

It’s just that through all of the self work I have done, through all of the coaching I have gotten, I am very comfortable talking about my 💩 and I’m going to tell you why. If we just keep covering it all up it becomes a big pile of messiness but the messiness isn’t outside of us, like it is for Zeta, it’s all piling up inside of us creating one big toxic mess. Getting it out, talking with a coach, seeing it on paper, hearing it out loud allows us to process and start re-wiring our inner, self taught program, allowing us to upgrade into a daily next best version.

I wonder if you can figure out why we’re so uncomfortable talking about our problems.

What I came up with is that we’re uncomfortable with ourselves. We are ashamed, embarrassed, disappointed, afraid of other people’s judgement, what they might say.

We attempt to control what other people think about us by doing things like:

  • pretend everything is amazing
  • complain and blame others
  • gossip about others, directing attention to someone else’s “dysfunction”

I now realize how healthy it is to share our struggles and here is why I believe this:

  • talking out loud about our struggles allows us to heal but also brings about healing in others, as they hear our story they can start to feel some relief, some hope and possibly be able to initiate positive steps towards feeling better themselves
  • it helps you be a true human, not pretending to be perfect or someone you’re not
  • it allows people to see the true you and connect on a much deeper level

People are going to either like you or not, you might as well find your truest connections by being your truest self.

We are human.

We all struggle.

Stop denying the struggle and start addressing it. Stop trying to control other people’s opinion of you by being someone you’re not.

Be you.

It feels so amazing!

It’s what I do on a daily basis, not just for me but for all of my beautiful clients. There is nothing more rewarding than watching people work on their problems and start living the life they were meant to live.

With a big proud smile on their face 😃

I am learning how to be me and helping you let go of your created you so you, and others, can embrace Your True You!

_______________________________________

My Awaken(YourTrue)You program teaches incredibly powerful women like yourself how to identify and live out your truth. How to believe in your success and boldly share it with the world. How to leave a legacy.

I offer a free call to anyone brave enough to take the steps of creating the life they were meant to live. It’s a call for you to decide if this work is for you or not. I believe it is.

Share this message with a friend who needs to hear it, for every woman willing to do the work of becoming her best self there will be thousands of others impacted by her journey.

This is my life, join me in my mission to save the world, one powerful woman at a time.

A Story Of An Eagle’s Transformation

The story of an eagle's transformation

There is something majestically intriguing about the American Bald Eagle, for me it is their powerful and calm demeanor that radiates out from within. They provide an example of supreme power that does not carry an ounce of pride. It has solid self confidence.

The day before my Summer Retreat Two: Bloom, I was outside, next to the lake working on my computer when I felt his presence. His shadow enveloped me as he passed overhead. As I looked up to see what that power that I felt was, I saw him fly over the trees to my right, make a u-turn and then dive down 30 feet in front of me. He effortlessly grabbed large fish out of the water and proceeded to fly, skimming the water, across the lake to land on the opposite bank and consume his lunch.

I just stood in fascination as I watched him.

This week I read a story about how eagles go through a “midlife transformation” around thirty years of age. The story told of how in order to live on they had to retreat to a mountain top, sit on it’s nest, while going through a process of plucking out it’s beak, talons and feathers. If they are able to go through this process and survive, the story tells about how they will live another 30-40 years.

This story completely intrigued me, compelling me to write about it and how it compares to the work I am doing in both my life and the lives of my clients. I was excited to be able to use this story as a source of encouragement in our own transformation processes.

A story of renewal, of dropping our old past life story, your self creation, and re-writing your story, transforming your entire life into one of fulfillment and purpose.

I was a bit disappointed to discover that the story is a fallacy but with it, true or false, I was still able to pull out some incredible wisdom.

Wisdom in that we can go through a transformation process that doesn’t require us to do anything to our outward physical bodies.

Wisdom in that for true transformation to occur we do need to separate ourselves, go to the mountaintop, so we can look deep down inside at who we have become and why.

Wisdom in that this journey does bring us life. True transformation allows us to let go and change the thoughts that are keeping us from growing into our true self.

Wisdom in that our transformation changes us from the inside and as that change flourishes, it also changes us on the outside.

The eagle’s transformation story is a myth but your transformation story doesn’t need to be.

I am writing my truth and sharing it with the world because I want the world to know that they too can write their own truth.

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I am a life coach working with individuals looking to change their current or future romantic relationship – my program helps them discover that they are enough. This self-love empowers and equips them to take continual, forward steps in achieving the healthy, romantic relationship they desire. Are you ready to explore this journey in your life? Schedule your program inquiry call today and let’s decide together if this is your next step to creating the life you’ve been dreaming of.

Living Every Moment Like You Know The Final Winning Score

The other day I was thinking about our life in comparison to watching a football game that was pre-recorded. Maybe a game like the Vikings playoff game against the Saints in January of 2018 where Stefon Diggs makes the miracle touchdown catch. One we didn’t get to watch live but knew the results because EVERYONE was talking about it.

As you watch the game that you pre-recorded you might be screaming and yelling when those Vikings were behind. You might even quit watching because it seems, yet again, that the Vikings are going to lose another playoff game.

Then you remember what the final score is in the game and you’re all excited again, patiently waiting for that famous play.

This was making me think about our life and knowing the final result. For us believers, the end of our story is already written. We have won.

Yet in the middle of our problem we often forget this fact. Sometimes we want to just give up.

When we stop and remember that we know the final score we can choose love.

We can choose love in the middle of any of our problems because it’s not a story with a happy ending – it’s a story with no ending.

We know the never ending life we live is a story of never ending love.

We know we can choose love, even in the middle of the storm, because in the end, when we step into eternity the game is already won.

Love always wins.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

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