Slam Dunk Defeat!

Today I have a personal success to share with you, not to brag but to show you how powerful this work that I am doing can be in a person’s life.

This week I had a major shift, an ahh haa moment.

Let me share it with you.

I first want to start with how defeat, the winning kind of course, USED to feel like for me (and if you want to read about both kinds of defeat go read yesterday’s post).

AMAZING!

Like the world just stopped spinning, amazing!

You know why?

It’s because I would have a thought along the lines of “WHAT?!? Like, what just happened?!?”

Basically it was amazing as in exciting, but also with a whole lot of surprise, like “Did that REALLY just happen?!?”

Don’t get me wrong, with most things, like in my bodybuilding career, I am a hard worker and when I set (some) goals, I went out and got it.

WHY?

When we set out to achieve goals from a place of not loving ourselves, with lack of self confidence, while living a facade, we are truly just throwing the dice and hoping for the best.

Of course the other sort of defeat, the losing sort, would always feel a bit awful, which was all about me and my inability, my unworthiness.

Fast forward to two years post life coaching, let me tell you that now BOTH defeats sort of feel the same ?.

Let me explain and share this week’s recently observed transformation.

Thirty two days ago I set out on a journey to check off a requirement I have as I work on launching my life coaching business this year.

That task was to write thirty blog posts in thirty days.

I had several thoughts about this task and of course I’ll share a few:

  • “This might be hard”
  • “This could be fun.”
  • “I might not be able to do this.”

Then as I got closer to finishing:

  • “This is easy.”
  • “I can’t wait until this is over”
  • “This is so hard.”
  • “I can’t wait for this to be over and to CELEBRATE this milestone.”

Then as the thirty days approached I felt like every other day (well, almost every day): accomplished,  proud, successful.

I kept waiting for the fireworks.

Then day thirty one came and it was just another day…

I even wrote another blog post…

I asked myself what was happening here? Am I depressed? Did my brain forget to throw myself a party?

Why doesn’t this defeat make me want to party???

Let me tell you why my friends; because I never doubted myself.

WHY?

From a place of complete, utter self love and self confidence I did the work.

I enjoyed the work.

I believed in myself, did it and moved on to the next goal on the list.

This my friends, is what I want for you as well, the self confidence to know that you can do whatever it is you set out to do and then be on to the next like it’s no big deal.

Like it was totally supposed to happen.

With no surprise, it’s just what is in your life, you love yourself and trust that you will do what it takes to make it all come together.

When this happens for you, that is when you will start manifesting your purpose.

Every day.

XOX

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

I’m Curious, What Does Defeat Mean To You?

I wrote myself a note to write about the topic of defeat a couple weeks back when I was in the middle of writing my 30 blogs in 30 days.  I never wrote about it during that challenge, yesterday was day 30 ?, I just kept thinking about defeat.

I was a bit curious about why I waited, but just kept moving on.

When will I learn that there is a reason for the wait.

When something feels forced it means that it’s not time yet.

Really.

Here is my experience with waiting and my thoughts around defeat.

Usually I talk about something different every day on my live broadcasts and in my posts.

This week I decided to dig into defeat and stick with it all week.

I spoke about defeat on both my Facebook biz page and the next day on my personal page.

Side note, you should really go follow me on that biz page and turn on your notifications so you get all the good stuff!

I spoke about when we are feeling defeated by life. Maybe it’s our relationship with our spouse, or our kids, or maybe it’s that weight that you’ve been desperately trying to lose or that job that drags you down every day.

I talked about how those thoughts that are creating that feeling of defeat make you show up in your day, giving you the result of creating more defeat in your life.

When we continue to think about how defeated we are in one area of our life our brain gets used to that signal and begins to tell you how you are losing in all areas of your life.

I talked about how taking the steps of creating awareness around this is the first step out of feeling defeated.

I talked about the impact of doing the work to change your brain and how you can re-create your results.

Then this afternoon as I started to think about what I was going to write about defeat, I had an epiphany, well maybe not an epiphany, but it was good.

Ready?

Defeat can also mean to win a victory over something.

Hello.

Welcome to my brain.

All this time since I had made a note to write about defeat, my brain was focusing on being defeated by something.

Something beating me.

My brain completely ignored when defeat means something amazing.

The light that shined into my brain when I saw where it automatically goes was truly enlightening.

Defeat can also mean your victory over your nemesis.

How do you look at defeat?

How can you turn that around to defeat?

Love you all!!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

One Secret Tool To Overcoming Your Fear

I know and I hear you.

Swipe left, swipe right, scroll up, scroll down and a google search away you will find all the things you could possibly read about living in fear and how to blast yourself through it.

We can read about how life is a struggle.

How the potential for failure is ever present.

How those who live in fear will never achieve their potential.

How to just push your limits.

How to dare greatly.

How to jump in, head first, or you’ll never know your true possibility.

All I can say is, “Easy for you to say!”

Truth be told, I have always been into powerfully motivating words, I truly believe they can spur us forward (though now I understand that the reason is because of the feeling that the words generate in my mind – hello thought model).

I did (some) hard things.

I did (some) things that scared me.

Yet I still wasn’t touching my true potential.

Then something changed for me.

That something was coaching from my master coach, Brooke Castillo, who broke down for me the truth behind overcoming the emotion of fear.

AND,

she helped me let go of my self conscious self.

She taught me how feelings are just vibrations in our bodies.

She taught me that resisting them only made them stronger, but that allowing them softened them and made them overcomeable (new word, use it, it’s awesome).

This is when I was truly able to start looking fear in the eyes and laugh at it.

I can handle a vibration in my body because it most certainly is not going to kill me.

When we have the tools to look at our problems by breaking them down into all of our ridiculous thoughts about it. It allows us to see them all in black and white, which allows us to use my favorite tool to break those pieces down even more. I can then begin to see how I’m showing up, based on feeling fear, and what results those thoughts are creating for my life.

This is more motivating to change than any quote on Instagram!

Now that I can see my current result I may be ready to move forward and create a more intentional scenario with that thought model. Putting self confidence in the place of fear I can start plugging in my new actions, my new thoughts and my new results.

Then I can, thank you Nike, JUST DO IT!

This is the one important puzzle piece that most motivators leave out.

Instead of just muscling through you now have a tool that makes tackling fear doable.

This is where the magic is but before moving forward you first have to discover something else.

Self confidence.

I’ll be honest, with some of the obstacles I fear, the above work just doesn’t seem to pan out, fear still wins.

Luckily, I still have options.

I can just muscle through and be uncomfortable for a hot second.

I can fall on my face and not make it mean anything except that I trusted myself enough to go for it.

I can bring it to my coach.

Bringing it to my coach allows me to take my eyes off of it for a bit and let her show me what is going on inside my brain.

I still get to create the magic but with the help of a mind magician!

If you struggle with avoiding the things you want to do then you’re most likely struggling with a mixture of emotions. I would guess that the top three might be fear, lack of self confidence and lack of trust in yourself to follow through.

To be able to fill that void in your life, to be able to seek your purpose, to be able to build your legacy,  you will need to learn how to manage your mind.

There is an easier and faster way than what you have been doing.

We have no guarantee to the number of days we’re given.

Give yourself the gift of moving into the fast lane to your dreams because they are completely possible. Let me give you the tools to create the key that opens that door.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Your Top Three Emotions And How They Reveal The Results In Your Life

Feelings, or emotions, it seems like a bunch of wasted time to look at them, right?

Wrong.

Read on to find out why they are so important.

Feelings start in our brain. They are caused by something that we are thinking, when we feel the emotion, the brain sends out chemicals to the body, these chemicals create vibrations in the body.

Feelings are the third line in the Thought Model, they are a one word emotion that drives the actions you take with the things you do on a daily basis.

I have found that we as humans are pretty numb to our emotions. Discovering what emotions we are feeling is one of the first, and fundamental, things I teach.

Think about it for a moment, everything we want in life is because of how we think it will make us feel.

So now, think about what you want.

Then ask yourself what you really, really want (insert Spice Girl Wannabe lyrics).

Lastly, ask yourself how you think you’ll feel when you get what you really want.

BINGO!

You want the feeling that thing will give you.

The next question I’ll ask is how you can create that feeling now?

This is the magical work I do with my Awaken(TheTrue)You program clients.

I help them start to fill that void the have in their life. I teach them how to stop attempting to fill it with external things.

Once they are able to start closing that void their brain is free to start focusing on what they really, truly want in their life.

Then we start creating it.

They step off of their hamster wheel and into the life of their dreams.

They start creating the results that they didn’t even realize they wanted to create.

It’s beautiful.

Let’s keep moving forward with some more awareness activities.

Ask yourself what your top three most common emotions are on a daily basis and why you feel them.

Here’s a list to get you started.

If you’re feeling brave go ahead and describe each feeling, then how you deal with each one.

Then ask yourself what are the top three emotions you want to have on a daily basis and why.

If you felt this way on a daily basis how might you show up differently in your life?

Showing up the way you want to show up will change your life forever.

The best part?

You don’t even need to change any of the external things in your life for this to happen, like your job, your boss, spouse, child, friend, state, car, house.

If you struggle with feeling joy, excitement, enthusiasm, responsible, determined, proud and want help changing the results you are currently getting in your life then let’s find some time to chat. Let’s talk about whether working with me might be a fit for the next step in your life, you can book your free session here or send me an email with days and times that will work for you.

Make today the first day of the best days of your life!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Guilt Explained So You Can Start Stopping It

After hearing my master coach instructor Jody Moore explain guilt in a plain and simple fashion, my mind exploded a bit. I compared it to how I experienced guilt and then I quickly went on a mission to terminate my ongoing relationship with guilt.

Guilt is when you have two different things you want to do at the same time, choosing to do one and then feeling guilty that you didn’t choose the other.

Have you committed to doing one thing and now regret your decision, causing you to think about backing out? This too could cause guilt but I would beg you to consider why you originally agreed to the commitment. Did you agree out of a place of wanting to make the other person happy? If so, you may want to read my article on people pleasing. If you’re not wanting to do something you committed to maybe something has changed for you between the commitment and now, in that case you could save yourself time and energy by either declining or just following through.  Otherwise it’s quite possible that you agreed out of a place of wanting that person to like you for saying yes to them.

This used to happen to me all of the time and of course I was a people pleaser on top of it all so I would say yes to things I didn’t truly want to do, then of course when they rolled around I would not want to go and then feel guilty about it.

In order to help you understand what happens I’m going to run through an example:

It’s Friday and your girlfriend sends you a message asking if you want to go to dinner after work. It’s sounds like an amazing idea, you haven’t seen her in forever. Then you remember that you had been planning on heading straight home to your lounge clothes and snuggling up with that good book you started last week.

Let’s pretend you say no, you go home after work, and feel guilty about not saying yes to the dinner date.

Let’s do a thought model on this scenario:

You’re thinking “I should have said yes” which is causing you to feel guilty, which makes you ruminate about what you should have done, beat yourself up for not being a good friend, not enjoy your book or the couch or your evening at all, you maybe even think about sending her a message to see if the offer is still valid.

Result: you say no to you.

When I see myself doing this sort of silly nonsense I stop that nasty guilt right in it’s tracks and start changing my model. Let me show you how:

I decide that I want my result to be that I say yes to me in this scenario.

In order to get this result I decide to be all in with this decision, stop wasting time and energy ruminating and beating myself up, do what I said I was going to do and enjoy it thoroughly and find time in the future to create an amazing time with my girlfriend.

In order to follow through with these actions I will need to feel something like self confident, courageous, self love.

To feel self confident I will need to think something like “I am going to follow through on my original plan.”

Using the thought model to help me see the result of my thoughts helps me clean up my brain and start thinking in a way that gives me the results that I want in my life.

This is how you start getting out of your own way.

I hope this helps you to be able to look at how guilt is playing out for you in your life and then allow you to also start eliminating it.

If you struggle with guilt and feel like you would like further help stepping out of it, I would love to walk you through it, I’ve got you! Set up a program inquiry session or send me an email with your questions. I make it my mission to help people like you set themselves free from guilt so they can move into their purposeful life.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Why Our Marital Handbooks Don’t Work

Why Our Marital Handbooks Don't Work | Relationship Coach

When I first heard of the concept of an operating manual for people in our lives my eyes became focused on a key problem I had going on in my life.

I had these manuals for so many people in my life.

I had all of these expectations of how people should show up, how they should act in order to make me happy.

When they didn’t act the way I expected them to then I would get angry, frustrated, annoyed, sad.

I was putting the power of how I felt in the hands of other people.

This is when I started working on changing.

I decided to work on not judging others for what they do and I decided that when I wanted someone to do something for me I would do it for them.

I didn’t want to share my  manuals with other people, I wanted to throw them all away.

I want people to be themselves, whatever that looks like for them, and for me to not have an attachment to that.

I’ll admit that this is a journey and a process that I have not yet perfected and probably never will 100%.

If you have people in your life that aren’t doing the things you want them to do then I would ask you to consider asking yourself why you want them to do the things. If it’s to create happiness for yourself then take action and do the thing for yourself, make yourself happy.

We can ask people to do things for us in our lives but having an attachment to if they do it, how they do it or even when they do it is just manipulation.

I would guess that you don’t like being manipulated, so the sooner that you can end doing it to others the sooner you will start creating your own happiness.

I’d love to talk more about manuals and how they might be interfering with your own happiness.

I’d love to help you take your power back by showing you how to throw those manuals you have away.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

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