I’m Curious, What Does Defeat Mean To You?

I wrote myself a note to write about the topic of defeat a couple weeks back when I was in the middle of writing my 30 blogs in 30 days.  I never wrote about it during that challenge, yesterday was day 30 ?, I just kept thinking about defeat.

I was a bit curious about why I waited, but just kept moving on.

When will I learn that there is a reason for the wait.

When something feels forced it means that it’s not time yet.

Really.

Here is my experience with waiting and my thoughts around defeat.

Usually I talk about something different every day on my live broadcasts and in my posts.

This week I decided to dig into defeat and stick with it all week.

I spoke about defeat on both my Facebook biz page and the next day on my personal page.

Side note, you should really go follow me on that biz page and turn on your notifications so you get all the good stuff!

I spoke about when we are feeling defeated by life. Maybe it’s our relationship with our spouse, or our kids, or maybe it’s that weight that you’ve been desperately trying to lose or that job that drags you down every day.

I talked about how those thoughts that are creating that feeling of defeat make you show up in your day, giving you the result of creating more defeat in your life.

When we continue to think about how defeated we are in one area of our life our brain gets used to that signal and begins to tell you how you are losing in all areas of your life.

I talked about how taking the steps of creating awareness around this is the first step out of feeling defeated.

I talked about the impact of doing the work to change your brain and how you can re-create your results.

Then this afternoon as I started to think about what I was going to write about defeat, I had an epiphany, well maybe not an epiphany, but it was good.

Ready?

Defeat can also mean to win a victory over something.

Hello.

Welcome to my brain.

All this time since I had made a note to write about defeat, my brain was focusing on being defeated by something.

Something beating me.

My brain completely ignored when defeat means something amazing.

The light that shined into my brain when I saw where it automatically goes was truly enlightening.

Defeat can also mean your victory over your nemesis.

How do you look at defeat?

How can you turn that around to defeat?

Love you all!!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

One Secret Tool To Overcoming Your Fear

I know and I hear you.

Swipe left, swipe right, scroll up, scroll down and a google search away you will find all the things you could possibly read about living in fear and how to blast yourself through it.

We can read about how life is a struggle.

How the potential for failure is ever present.

How those who live in fear will never achieve their potential.

How to just push your limits.

How to dare greatly.

How to jump in, head first, or you’ll never know your true possibility.

All I can say is, “Easy for you to say!”

Truth be told, I have always been into powerfully motivating words, I truly believe they can spur us forward (though now I understand that the reason is because of the feeling that the words generate in my mind – hello thought model).

I did (some) hard things.

I did (some) things that scared me.

Yet I still wasn’t touching my true potential.

Then something changed for me.

That something was coaching from my master coach, Brooke Castillo, who broke down for me the truth behind overcoming the emotion of fear.

AND,

she helped me let go of my self conscious self.

She taught me how feelings are just vibrations in our bodies.

She taught me that resisting them only made them stronger, but that allowing them softened them and made them overcomeable (new word, use it, it’s awesome).

This is when I was truly able to start looking fear in the eyes and laugh at it.

I can handle a vibration in my body because it most certainly is not going to kill me.

When we have the tools to look at our problems by breaking them down into all of our ridiculous thoughts about it. It allows us to see them all in black and white, which allows us to use my favorite tool to break those pieces down even more. I can then begin to see how I’m showing up, based on feeling fear, and what results those thoughts are creating for my life.

This is more motivating to change than any quote on Instagram!

Now that I can see my current result I may be ready to move forward and create a more intentional scenario with that thought model. Putting self confidence in the place of fear I can start plugging in my new actions, my new thoughts and my new results.

Then I can, thank you Nike, JUST DO IT!

This is the one important puzzle piece that most motivators leave out.

Instead of just muscling through you now have a tool that makes tackling fear doable.

This is where the magic is but before moving forward you first have to discover something else.

Self confidence.

I’ll be honest, with some of the obstacles I fear, the above work just doesn’t seem to pan out, fear still wins.

Luckily, I still have options.

I can just muscle through and be uncomfortable for a hot second.

I can fall on my face and not make it mean anything except that I trusted myself enough to go for it.

I can bring it to my coach.

Bringing it to my coach allows me to take my eyes off of it for a bit and let her show me what is going on inside my brain.

I still get to create the magic but with the help of a mind magician!

If you struggle with avoiding the things you want to do then you’re most likely struggling with a mixture of emotions. I would guess that the top three might be fear, lack of self confidence and lack of trust in yourself to follow through.

To be able to fill that void in your life, to be able to seek your purpose, to be able to build your legacy,  you will need to learn how to manage your mind.

There is an easier and faster way than what you have been doing.

We have no guarantee to the number of days we’re given.

Give yourself the gift of moving into the fast lane to your dreams because they are completely possible. Let me give you the tools to create the key that opens that door.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Your Top Three Emotions And How They Reveal The Results In Your Life

Feelings, or emotions, it seems like a bunch of wasted time to look at them, right?

Wrong.

Read on to find out why they are so important.

Feelings start in our brain. They are caused by something that we are thinking, when we feel the emotion, the brain sends out chemicals to the body, these chemicals create vibrations in the body.

Feelings are the third line in the Thought Model, they are a one word emotion that drives the actions you take with the things you do on a daily basis.

I have found that we as humans are pretty numb to our emotions. Discovering what emotions we are feeling is one of the first, and fundamental, things I teach.

Think about it for a moment, everything we want in life is because of how we think it will make us feel.

So now, think about what you want.

Then ask yourself what you really, really want (insert Spice Girl Wannabe lyrics).

Lastly, ask yourself how you think you’ll feel when you get what you really want.

BINGO!

You want the feeling that thing will give you.

The next question I’ll ask is how you can create that feeling now?

This is the magical work I do with my Awaken(TheTrue)You program clients.

I help them start to fill that void the have in their life. I teach them how to stop attempting to fill it with external things.

Once they are able to start closing that void their brain is free to start focusing on what they really, truly want in their life.

Then we start creating it.

They step off of their hamster wheel and into the life of their dreams.

They start creating the results that they didn’t even realize they wanted to create.

It’s beautiful.

Let’s keep moving forward with some more awareness activities.

Ask yourself what your top three most common emotions are on a daily basis and why you feel them.

Here’s a list to get you started.

If you’re feeling brave go ahead and describe each feeling, then how you deal with each one.

Then ask yourself what are the top three emotions you want to have on a daily basis and why.

If you felt this way on a daily basis how might you show up differently in your life?

Showing up the way you want to show up will change your life forever.

The best part?

You don’t even need to change any of the external things in your life for this to happen, like your job, your boss, spouse, child, friend, state, car, house.

If you struggle with feeling joy, excitement, enthusiasm, responsible, determined, proud and want help changing the results you are currently getting in your life then let’s find some time to chat. Let’s talk about whether working with me might be a fit for the next step in your life, you can book your free session here or send me an email with days and times that will work for you.

Make today the first day of the best days of your life!

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Guilt Explained So You Can Start Stopping It

After hearing my master coach instructor Jody Moore explain guilt in a plain and simple fashion, my mind exploded a bit. I compared it to how I experienced guilt and then I quickly went on a mission to terminate my ongoing relationship with guilt.

Guilt is when you have two different things you want to do at the same time, choosing to do one and then feeling guilty that you didn’t choose the other.

Have you committed to doing one thing and now regret your decision, causing you to think about backing out? This too could cause guilt but I would beg you to consider why you originally agreed to the commitment. Did you agree out of a place of wanting to make the other person happy? If so, you may want to read my article on people pleasing. If you’re not wanting to do something you committed to maybe something has changed for you between the commitment and now, in that case you could save yourself time and energy by either declining or just following through.  Otherwise it’s quite possible that you agreed out of a place of wanting that person to like you for saying yes to them.

This used to happen to me all of the time and of course I was a people pleaser on top of it all so I would say yes to things I didn’t truly want to do, then of course when they rolled around I would not want to go and then feel guilty about it.

In order to help you understand what happens I’m going to run through an example:

It’s Friday and your girlfriend sends you a message asking if you want to go to dinner after work. It’s sounds like an amazing idea, you haven’t seen her in forever. Then you remember that you had been planning on heading straight home to your lounge clothes and snuggling up with that good book you started last week.

Let’s pretend you say no, you go home after work, and feel guilty about not saying yes to the dinner date.

Let’s do a thought model on this scenario:

You’re thinking “I should have said yes” which is causing you to feel guilty, which makes you ruminate about what you should have done, beat yourself up for not being a good friend, not enjoy your book or the couch or your evening at all, you maybe even think about sending her a message to see if the offer is still valid.

Result: you say no to you.

When I see myself doing this sort of silly nonsense I stop that nasty guilt right in it’s tracks and start changing my model. Let me show you how:

I decide that I want my result to be that I say yes to me in this scenario.

In order to get this result I decide to be all in with this decision, stop wasting time and energy ruminating and beating myself up, do what I said I was going to do and enjoy it thoroughly and find time in the future to create an amazing time with my girlfriend.

In order to follow through with these actions I will need to feel something like self confident, courageous, self love.

To feel self confident I will need to think something like “I am going to follow through on my original plan.”

Using the thought model to help me see the result of my thoughts helps me clean up my brain and start thinking in a way that gives me the results that I want in my life.

This is how you start getting out of your own way.

I hope this helps you to be able to look at how guilt is playing out for you in your life and then allow you to also start eliminating it.

If you struggle with guilt and feel like you would like further help stepping out of it, I would love to walk you through it, I’ve got you! Set up a program inquiry session or send me an email with your questions. I make it my mission to help people like you set themselves free from guilt so they can move into their purposeful life.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Operating Manuals We Have For People & Why They Don’t Work

When I first heard of the concept of an operating manual for people in our lives my eyes became focused on a key problem I had going on in my life.

I had these manuals for so many people in my life.

I had all of these expectations of how people should show up, how they should act in order to make me happy.

When they didn’t act the way I expected them to then I would get angry, frustrated, annoyed, sad.

I was putting the power of how I felt in the hands of other people.

This is when I started working on changing.

I decided to work on not judging others for what they do and I decided that when I wanted someone to do something for me I would do it for them.

I didn’t want to share my  manuals with other people, I wanted to throw them all away.

I want people to be themselves, whatever that looks like for them, and for me to not have an attachment to that.

I’ll admit that this is a journey and a process that I have not yet perfected and probably never will 100%.

If you have people in your life that aren’t doing the things you want them to do then I would ask you to consider asking yourself why you want them to do the things. If it’s to create happiness for yourself then take action and do the thing for yourself, make yourself happy.

We can ask people to do things for us in our lives but having an attachment to if they do it, how they do it or even when they do it is just manipulation.

I would guess that you don’t like being manipulated so the sooner that you can end doing it to others the sooner you will start creating your own happiness.

I’d love to talk more about manuals and how they might be interfering with your own happiness.

I’d love to help you take your power back by showing you how to throw those manuals you have away.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Shame: What It Is, Why You Feel It And How To Set It Free

Let’s start out with what shame is.

I love my coach instructor Jody Moore’s definition of shame that she used in a recent coaching session:

It’s what we feel when we do something that is out of alignment with who we want to be.

This has been the best description of shame for me because it resonates with me and when I feel shame. For me, it truly does come from times when I’ve done things that were way out of line from who I wanted to be as a human in this world.

The reason we feel the shame:

Judgement.

We judge ourselves negatively for doing the thing that we really don’t want to do.

We think that if we beat ourselves up over what we did it will somehow make us change.

Kind of like thinking that yelling at our kids will make them change.

Thankfully, it doesn’t work like that.

Thankfully because once we become aware of this truth we discover that the solution is within us, not outside of us.

We start realizing that beating ourselves up is giving us the opposite of what we truly want.

What actually happens is we start to get used to the feeling that shame generates and then continue to create the feeling over and over. Our body gets used to the chemical response and will continue to create it every time we do something out of line with who we ultimately want to be.

Our brain likes to look for what’s wrong and you have trained it to continue to respond this way because you’ve done it enough times that it’s now a conditioned response.

Let’s look at some examples:

  • I ate what I told myself I wouldn’t eat:
    • learned responses:
      • “I’m never going to learn.”
      • “I’m stupid.”
      • “What is wrong with me?”
      • “Of course I did that, I wouldn’t expect anything better.”
  • I yelled at my child:
    • learned responses:
      • “I’m an awful mom.”
      • “I can’t control my emotions.”
      • “I’m ruining my children.”
  • I spent money I didn’t have:
    • learned responses:
      • “I don’t know how to manage my urges.”
      • “I’m irresponsible.”
      • “I’ll never have any money in the bank.”

How to set it free.

The path to setting shame free is multi-faceted but let’s take a look at how to start the journey.

  • The first step is to become aware of your negative self talk.

When we do something that is against the person we want to be just start to become curious about how you treat and talk to yourself. What do you say? Are you treating yourself with love and compassion? My guess is you are not.

  • Start journalling.

Write down what you did and all of the things you made what you did mean. Write down how those words make you feel. How that makes you show up for yourself.

  • Start generating new thoughts.

From the examples above they might look like:

    • I ate what I told myself I wouldn’t eat:
      • new responses:
        • “I’m open to the idea that I can figure this out.”
        • “It’s possible that I’m smart.”
        • “There isn’t anything wrong with me”
        • “I am becoming the person that expects the best from myself.”
    • I yelled at my child:
      • new responses:
        • “I am becoming the mom I want to be.”
        • “I am learning how to control my emotions.”
        • “My children are going to be amazing.”
    • I spent money I didn’t have:
      • new responses:
        • “Someday I will be able to allow my urges.”
        • “I might be wrong about the thought that I’m irresponsible.”
        • “I will be a person who has money in the bank.”

With time, as you begin to believe the new thoughts, you will be able to create stronger thoughts that will take you to the person who recognizes shame before she lets it in the door.

With time you will be able say hello to shame and kindly ask it to leave.

You can become the person that tells shame that it is no longer welcome because you have replaced shame with self love, self compassion, self confidence.

If you are someone who struggles with shame I would love an opportunity to share a conversation about whether my program is a fit for you. As you become more confident in the possibility of you and creating the life you know you were created to live I’d love to encourage you to slide into the fast lane of your life purpose.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Pride, Women, My Mission And How They All Tie Together

As I was doing some coaching work on my past eating addiction the idea for this post was born. I was doing the work of looking at an event, this was one long event, from the past and re-writing my story about it. This practice allows you to take a negative story from your past and release it by telling the story in a way that empowers you.

If you haven’t done this work, let me tell you, it is life changing.

While doing this work my brain exploded a bit around pride, so let’s just talk about what pride is and how you can use it for or against, not only yourself, but others.

Let’s start with just two different types of pride, positive and negative pride, and then dig into how they not only affect you but others.

Positive pride.

Positive pride is when we have confidence in ourselves, self respect. When we are proud of our achievements and the achievements of others.

I also had a bit of brain explosion as I went deeper into my reflection when I realized that the opposite of positive pride is to be ashamed of yourself or someone else.

Let me tell you a truth right now, if someone else is ashamed of you that means absolutely NOTHING about you and your worth. You are fully worthy, no matter what anyone else says or does to you.

Negative pride.

Negative pride is when we have a false sense of superiority over others. It comes from a place of conceit and arrogance.

Note the word false.

This ultimately comes from lack of self confidence and self respect because we are insecure in ourselves. We are afraid of exposing ourself because of what others might think.

This kind of pride will keep us from seeking out help for ourself, or even our close loved ones. It makes us think about what others will think, keeping us from doing what is right for ourselves or for others who might need our support.

How can this affect others?

If you are asking this question then congratulations, you have been not just reading my content but doing the work of applying it.

Most people would believe that if we are proud or neglectful of others that it would affect them by causing them to either feel good or bad. If you have been reading my content you know that another person cannot make us feel a certain way, it is our own thoughts that create our own feelings, actions and results.

Here is where my mind exploded a bit.

As parents we have a responsibility of raising the next generation. As parents we come into this role with all sorts of our own hurts, habits and hang-ups which will influence how our little ones will start to make decisions for themselves.

This is why I am so on mission to help as many women as I can end their life of insecurity, worthlessness and self loathing.

When a woman gets out of her own way, starts loving herself, starts honoring herself, starts becoming proud of who she is and what she does, she passes that on to the next generation.

My true passion is children and ingraining in their developing brains that they are fully lovable, no matter what they do. My way of being able to do that right now is through the women who are influencing these beautiful minds.

If you change who you are today into the woman of possibility, what an impact you will have on the world.

This is why I do what I do.

Let’s change the world, one brain at a time.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Rewriting Your Past Story And How It Will Light Up Your Future Story

We all have our stories to tell.

Most of our stories are about our past.

Childhood • middle age • teenage • young adult • adult • first marriage • last boyfriend • first job • this job • last year • last week • yesterday • this morning.

We’re not telling stories of the abundance we will be creating in the future.

Most of our stories are about what went wrong in our past lives.

Our brains are always on the search for what is wrong, it’s always wanting to protect us, keep us from danger. That’s it’s job.

This is great for when we might be in some sort of danger, which is rare in our modern world, but it’s not great when it pertains to our past.

For many of us our past life story is full of regret, resentment and blame. We are completely unaware of how damaging this is to our future life story.

For many of us our past life story is full of beauty, uniqueness, perfection.

We aren’t seeing it.

For me this was very much the case, I spent most of my time really thinking backwards. I was often dwelling on what happened yesterday and though, while I was also looking forward I was looking back to determine how to move forward.

Yes, I was living a life of abundance, goodness, beautiful richness yet I wasn’t actually living it.

I was using my past to determine how to create my future.

If we are only seeing what went wrong in our past it won’t allow us to truly see the full potential of what is available in our future.

Each and every time we tell that story of how we were taken advantage of, of how we were wronged, of how we made poor choices, it reinforces that neurological pathway of negativity, of failure. Every time we relive the hurt it keeps us living in that pool of negative emotion, dragging us down, deepening the pain.

The opposite of what we want happens. We desperately want the story to change but by reliving it we just keep bringing it closer, allowing it to continue to beat us up. Allowing it to continue to tell us how unworthy we truly are.

Let me tell you something that is going to change your life forever if you choose to believe it.

You can change your story. Forever.

Your past is behind you and it happened perfectly.

I know this because it happened.

You could attempt to just forget your past life story but I want to warn you to be very careful if you choose to take this route. Be very careful that you are allowing the story to just be and not trying to burying it, resist it, only for it to re-surface with a mean, ugly vengeance.

This is what I had tried to do. I used all sorts of buffering activities to do this. You know what happened? I just hurt myself more and my story just kept coming back.

You know why the story kept coming back? Because I kept bringing it back. Truth is that every time I brought the past into my present by telling the story, it hurt more than the original story. Some of my stories I remember not even hurting me at the time. Stories where I didn’t truly realize what was happening, too young to even understand. It’s when I retold the story, from a place of judgement, that the story truly started to hurt.

The best thing I’ve done, and the best thing you can do for yourself, is to re-write the story so that it makes you the hero.

What amazing things have happened because you survived powerfully through that story?

What amazing things have you accomplished because you won in that story?

How has that story made you better equipped to handle your current life story?

How can you look at the people in your story from their lens, from their hurts, from their past life story?

When we’re able to re-write our past as the hero, not the victim, it allows us to set it free.

When we’re able to see how perfectly our past truly was, what opportunities it brings us, we are able to see ourselves as who we were perfectly created to be and perfectly shaped to be.

Today we get to step into the future of opportunity, not a future held back by the weight of our past.

When we see how much our past has molded us into a beautiful instrument of intricacies with the potential to create an impact beyond our dreams.

That’s when life begins brand new.

If you’re living a life of regret and resentment, unable to set it free. If you find yourself unable to let go of the power someone from your past is having in your life today then I want you to know that there is hope. You can re-write your past. Your story is beautiful, tell it the way that will move you into the life you were perfectly designed to live.

You can’t build your legacy while holding on tight to your past life story.

My mission is to show you how to become the hero of your story. Let’s start the editing today.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Steps To Walk Through Your Depression

I’m going to start this off stating that depression is a serious thing. The “tackling depression” tactics that I am going to talk about today can be applied to any type of depression, yet there are individual cases where depression is truly dark. 


I’m talking dark, as in no light. 


You yourself will want to take the steps to be able to recognize what your depression looks like for you. You may want to seek the guidance of a medical professional who can help you sort through a possible need for a medication program to help you sort through your journey. 


Yet, even if your journey is truly that dark, I want you to know that there absolutely is hope. There is beautiful light on the other side of the valley you are currently walking through. 


I promise this. 


Just waiting for it to end could be a way of processing but seeking guidance out of love and compassion for yourself is the shortest path through to the other side. 

It is the most beautiful path as well.


When we work through whatever is bringing us down we always discover something new about ourselves.

When we just wait for it to pass, just keep trudging on, in my experience, there isn’t much discovery in the process.

This week has been one of those weeks for me. 


It actually feels foreign. 


This thought alone gives me relief. Depression was a way of life for me in the past, I used to drag it around like a heavy sled. I know, who knew, I truly was the masquerade master.

Experiencing it now is actually opening up for me the reality that I have cut loose so many ties to that sled. 


My norm now is freedom, so thank you depression for opening up my eyes to this truth.


How I am handling the depression is also different. Let me share how.

Become curious about what is happening for you.

For me the art of being curious about why this is actually occurring in my body is an interesting process. The old me would have ignored it, pushed it into the corner and put something fancy and falsely beautiful in front of it, hello facade. 


This week I have been holding it in my hands, being kind and compassionate towards it, allowing it to express itself yet not prohibit me from moving forward with my days. 

This in of itself feels so much better. More expansive. Less tight and uncomfortable. The knowledge not that I never will experience depression again, but that I now have the tools to process it. To use it as information for what is happening for me in the moment.

Use The Model to help you see what is happening for you.

This tool helps you with the awareness I shared above. It helps you to see what might be happening for you. It helps you to sort through the messiness your brain is presenting to you. It helps you to see some truth and allow you to move forward while accepting that this is a part of your current journey.

The model is also a tool that will help you see the result you are getting with whatever thoughts your brain is giving to you, this then gives you the option of choosing a different thought. A different thought will get you a different result.

Listen up.

This is not about faking it by ignoring what is happening for you. This is about choosing thoughts that will work for you.

Let me share an example by sharing a bit of my thought downloads from the week.

“This stinks. My life is miserable. I don’t have time for this. I can’t do this. I’ll never get this done. I should just give this up. I should just stay in bed. Maybe I’ll just take the day off. I am strong. I can handle anything. This is perfect. This is happening. This won’t beat me. Hello brain, I see what you’re doing. This is happening and I don’t like it. Maybe I need more caffeine. I should go take a nap. Of course this is happening.”

If I were to stay with the thought that “I can’t do this” it would make me feel defeated causing me to complain, ruminate, feel sorry for myself, beat myself up, etc, creating a result of not getting anything done. Perfect evidence for the thought “I can’t do this.”

Instead I chose the thought “I can handle anything”, this makes me feel strong, this propels me forward to do my tasks and honor my commitments, to hold my funk in a place of compassion and curiosity but not let it control me, love myself and share my journey instead of hide or fake it, be curious about what is happening, the result I get from this new thought is I completely handle my commitments and my funk.

Lastly.

Share your journey with a friend.

Sharing it helps to heal it. Sometimes a friend doesn’t feel right and sometimes it just might be wrong. That’s where I come in. I’m the friend that cares and does more than just listen and then give you unsolicited advice. I listen. I show you your brain. I show you how to hold it in a place of compassion. I show you how to allow the discomfort without allowing it to consume you.

I help you walk through until you’re ready to set it free.

This my friends is beautiful.

This my friends is not faking it.

This allows you to travel through your experiences, negative and positive, from a place of curiosity, learning and growing along the way.

Friend, if you are in a dark season and want to know more about how to move through it from a place of compassion for yourself, I’d love to walk through with you. This doesn’t need to be an awful experience. Use it to grow, learn and love yourself.

I’m over here waiting for you.

My mission is you. Helping you become your true you. Let’s go!

I’m just an email away.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Why Avoiding Conflict Creates More Conflict & How To Get Good At Resolution

Conflict is a struggle, or opposition, of ideas or interests.

The conflict may just be within yourself or it may be with one or many other persons.

It’s possible that you are the only one aware of the conflict because you are avoiding bringing it out in the open. Maybe you are agreeing, apologizing or even accommodating the person you are in opposition to.

It’s possible you were never taught how to deal with conflict effectively. This can be true if you watched parents scream and yell at each other, never coming to resolution verses watching them sit down and discuss the struggle out loud and openly. Even the opposite can be true with one parent avoiding conflict by never addressing their struggles therefore again, never allowing you to witness healthy conflict resolution.

Healthy conflict resolution is something that is important for us to develop so that we can start cultivating more strong, trusting relationships with everyone in our life.

Here is how avoiding conflict can create more conflict:

  • You resisting what is going on by avoiding and not processing
  • You build up negative emotion
  • You don’t figure out how to clean up your thoughts

When we take the time to look at what is happening for us with any struggles or opposition we are having with someone it is healthy for us to do a few things:

Take a look at our thoughts, what is going on in our brain, by doing a thought download.

Look at how these thoughts are making us feel and then how these feelings are making us show up.

This will show us the result we are getting.

At this point we can decide whether we are wanting to change our thoughts so that we get a result that we want or not.

Possibly we do want to change our thoughts to get a result that we like, yet it’s also possible that we will want to talk to the other party and discuss what is going on for us.

The one thing you must always remember is no one else is in charge of your happiness, so the objective is not to control them by telling them how they need to act to make you feel good. 

That is your job.

Still, you may want to clarify what is happening for you.

Let me give you an example.

Let’s say you have a husband, I may or may not know of one, who has committed to dog sitting a puppy during time, two days to be exact, when you, that would be me, will be at home working and husband will be away from the home working.

I could get angry and just let it happen, maybe take it out a bit on said husband.

I could do a thought download and decide how I want to handle the situation out of love for myself.

Then make a decision as to what I’m going to do and be all in and in love with my choice

The latter is what I have chosen to do. The old me would have taken it out on husband from the time it was announced until who knows when.

With choosing the way I did, making the choice to think I am going to enjoy this little puppy, which makes me feel helpful, which allows me to take the action of planning my days so it works for me, loving the puppy, ask husband to clarify story of how this came about so that I fully understand scenario, ask husband to, in the future, please check with me before volunteering my time but also recognize that he may not follow through, decide how I will deal with the situation if it arises again.

If you are a conflict avoider like I used to be and would like to discover how to start feeling better about how you deal with the struggles that life will always present to you, then I would love to offer a free mini-session to help you feel some freedom. All you have to do is grab on to some courage and send me an email, the feeling of fear will vanish once you hit the send button.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.