How Your Attachment Style Is Affecting Your Marriage Ep 92

How Your Attachment Style Is Affecting Your Marriage | Marriage Coach
 

 

Many of us married our partners because we thought they would heal all of our old heart wounds.

Of course, you didn’t say that to yourself 🤣, but if you take a moment to think about it, it makes complete sense.

Then they do something that makes you pull back and protect your heart.

Maybe they started staying at work longer than you thought they should.

Maybe they didn’t fix the leaky faucet as daddy did.

Maybe they stopped preparing your lunches.

That’s when your heart remembers those old wounds and starts protecting you by lashing out or trying to patch things up even though you’re angry, or maybe you withdraw and ignore the feelings in your heart.

Attachment styles help us understand how we deal with our hurting hearts, and this week on AwakenYou in your marriage, I am sharing last week’s Marriage Masterclass because it was that good.

And because it might help you make sense of how you show up when you feel unloved by your spouse.

Start making sense of your behaviors and use the three action steps I share at the end to discover your go-to attachment style and start the work of creating your secure attachment.

In this Marriage Masterclass, I am going to help you:

  • Demystify the attachment style concept so you can see how it plays out in your life and relationships
  • Discover both of your dominant styles and see how this combination may be keeping the relationship stuck
  • Learn how you are (unconsciously) seeing your spouse as a threat to your lovability so you can start interacting with discovering safety in interactions
  • Start having your own back and opening up to the love you desire

Watch on YouTube

Download my free Abundant Love Mini-Course to help you to start thinking, and feeling, differently about your marriage.

Register for my free monthly Marriage Masterclass, where every month I talk about different ways you can change your marriage without changing your partner. Next month we will be talking about The Secret To Changing Your Marriage Without Changing Your Spouse: Creating Better Boundaries, register now! 

More resources and how you can start the process of Awakening Your True You and being the partner who creates your best vision of what marriage looks like for you: https://christinebongiovanni.com/

Join my AwakenYou newsletter for weekly marriage tips and early announcements of upcoming offerings.

Book your free mini-coaching session here.

Show webpage: www.christinebongiovanni.com/88


I am a marriage coach helping women and couples turn their loveless & emotionless marriage into something better than they ever imagined possible. My process starts by looking within to understand how you got here, and from this place, we work together to figure out where you want to go. Then we do the work of making that your reality!

If you feel sad and completely powerless about your marriage’s state of affairs, then I’d love to chat with you about what is going on and what’s possible for you and your future. It’s never too late to re-create your best life. Schedule a free mini-session today, and let’s talk about how to get started. 

 

Finding The Gifts In Your Marriage Ep 90

Finding The Gifts Of Your Marriage | Love & Relationship Coach
 

Have you ever looked back at something that happened in your life that at the time seemed like a tragedy, but now you see the gift from that experience?

It makes me think of the story about the Chinese farmer; if you haven’t heard it, you can check it out here.

There are so many messages to take away from this parable. My takeaway is to be present to all the things in front of us, being curious as to what magical place this experience will lead us to.

Often we look at our life and marriage through glasses that zoom in on us, seeing how we’re being cheated of the life and marriage we signed up for.

But what if we looked at our experience from a different vantage point?

What then might you see in your marriage?

When we are focused on what’s wrong, we might sharpen our minds, but it dulls our hearts.

Focusing on what’s wrong doesn’t allow us to see what is right, what is working, and what is good.

This week I talk about a new way to filter the circumstances of our day, so we can see the gifts and appreciate our interdependence on each other instead of taking it all for granted.

Find out more by tuning into this week’s episode of AwakenYou in your marriage, and listen to the end, where I share a practice you can use this month to help you start looking at life through a whole new lens!

 


I am a marriage coach helping women and couples turn their loveless & emotionless marriage into something better than they ever imagined possible. My process starts by looking within to understand how you got here, and from this place, we work together to figure out where you want to go. Then we do the work of making that your reality!

If you feel sad and completely powerless about your marriage’s state of affairs, then I’d love to chat with you about what is going on and what’s possible for you and your future. It’s never too late to re-create your best life. Schedule a free mini-session today, and let’s talk about how to get started. 

 

Falling Out Of Love & Finding True Love Ep 89

Falling Out Of Love & Finding True Love | Love & Relationship Coach
 

In this week’s episode, I talk about why every relationship falls “out of love” and why the “in love” period is temporary. Then I go on to talk about the process that a couple MUST go through if they want to find “true love” with the one they are with.

I wish someone would have shared this little nugget with me, and that’s why I’m sharing it with you.

Knowing that EVERY single intimate relationship will fall “out of love” could have saved me from so much of the shame I felt when, once again, I thought I was destined to end another relationship to continue the search for the “right one.” 

First, there is no “right one” out there. 

No human on the planet won’t trip your switch unless they’re on guard around the clock, and I’d guess you wouldn’t find that so attractive anyway. 

Second, when you know the “in love” phase is temporary, you won’t make it mean something has gone wrong. Instead, you’ll start the work to prepare for what comes next: the love stage of building trust.

As you build trust in your relationship, that’s when you start creating the juicy, good “true love” phase of marriage. 

The best news I have for you is that it doesn’t matter how many years it’s been since you’ve fallen out of love.

You can start creating true love anytime you decide it’s worthwhile. 

 I think today is the best day to start that process!

 Learn all about these phases in this week’s episode of AwakenYou in your marriage!


I am a marriage coach helping women and couples turn their loveless & emotionless marriage into something better than they ever imagined possible. My process starts by looking within to understand how you got here, and from this place, we work together to figure out where you want to go. Then we do the work of making that your reality!

If you feel sad and completely powerless about your marriage’s state of affairs, then I’d love to chat with you about what is going on and what’s possible for you and your future. It’s never too late to re-create your best life. Schedule a free mini-session today, and let’s talk about how to get started. 

 

Bringing Love Into A Loveless Marriage Ep 88

Bringing Love Into A Loveless Marriage | Marriage Coach

I think it’s too bad that society sets us up to believe that if we had the “right person,” the feeling of falling in love would never go away.

Society has set us all up to think that we’re all doing it wrong and that if we find our true soulmate, we’ll walk off happily ever after.

What if you wouldn’t ever find your true love until you figured out how to find true love right where you are?

That’s what we do in AwakenYou; we do the messy work of breaking down our fears, our sense of not having enough, denying the truth, choosing to remain unaware, and addressing shame.

This week on the podcast, I talk about our shame shields and how we use them to block connection with our partner.

When we do the brave work of setting down our shield, that is when we find the connection that starts the process of creating true love.

Communication is pretty much non-existent.

Expressions of endearment? Well, you’ve pretty much forgotten what those look like (though you crave them like a cheeseburger and fries after a weeklong fast.)

Your marriage feels as emotionless as your relationship with your college roommate; as a matter of fact, you and your roomie seemed to share more emotions that what you and your spouse exchange.

Sex feels like a transaction, something you check off your list.

Do any of these feel familiar?

In this recap of October’s Marriage Masterclass, I help you:

  • Start getting what you want and feel safe asking for it
  • Approach conversations in a way that has you feeling connected
  • Share how you feel in a way that will have them turning towards you
  • Discover a new sort of intimacy in the bedroom

Watch on YouTube

Download my free Abundant Love Mini-Course to help you to start thinking, and feeling, differently about your marriage.

Register for my free monthly Marriage Masterclass, where every month I talk about different ways you can change your marriage without changing your partner. Next month we will be talking about The Secret To Changing Your Marriage Without Changing Your Spouse: Creating Better Boundaries, register now! 

More resources and how you can start the process of Awakening Your True You and being the partner who creates your best vision of what marriage looks like for you: https://christinebongiovanni.com/

Join my AwakenYou newsletter for weekly marriage tips and early announcements of upcoming offerings.

Book your free mini-coaching session here.

Show webpage: www.christinebongiovanni.com/88


I am a marriage coach helping women and couples turn their loveless & emotionless marriage into something better than they ever imagined possible. My process starts by looking within to understand how you got here, and from this place, we work together to figure out where you want to go. Then we do the work of making that your reality!

If you feel sad and completely powerless about your marriage’s state of affairs, then I’d love to chat with you about what is going on and what’s possible for you and your future. It’s never too late to re-create your best life. Schedule a free mini-session today, and let’s talk about how to get started. 

 

How To Stop Reacting and Start Loving Ep 84

How To Stop Reacting and Start Loving | Marriage Coach
 

 

There’s an excellent reason why you react the way you do in your marriage – even if that reaction makes you feel down on yourself.

The thing that drives your reaction could be as “little” as them coming through the front door after a day at work.

You dream of being kind and loving, yet something has you withdrawing and sending “leave me alone” vibes.

Let me tell you this, your reaction makes more sense than you can imagine, and I hope this alone will help you find some compassion for yourself.

In this week’s episode, I share some baby steps you can take this month to start reacting from a place of love instead of the old software your brain is currently running on. 

We all have old software that has us running old patterns that no longer serve us. Let me help you re-program your response so you can become that person you dream of being.

That person you dream of being is you are waiting to be released, and there is no better time than now to bring it to life.

In this Marriage Masterclass, I am going to help you:

  • Start to recognize your go-to patterns when your spouse does something that makes you react as well as your spouse’s go-to patterns
  • Understand why you respond the way you do and why it’s so hard to react differently
  • Retrain your subconscious mind to understand that you can handle these situations in a whole new, safe way that will feel self-supporting and diffuse the cycle
  • See how your change will bring about change in your spouse

Episodes referenced in this episode:
Ep 23: How To Process Emotions

Watch on YouTube

Download my free Abundant Love Mini-Course to help you to start thinking, and feeling, differently about your marriage.

Register for my free monthly Marriage Masterclass, where every month I talk about different ways you can change your marriage without changing your partner. Next month we will be talking about The Secret To Changing Your Marriage Without Changing Your Spouse: Creating Better Boundaries, register now! 

More resources and how you can start the process of Awakening Your True You and being the partner who creates your best vision of what marriage looks like for you: https://christinebongiovanni.com/

Join my AwakenYou newsletter for weekly marriage tips and early announcements of upcoming offerings.

Book your free mini-coaching session here.

Show webpage: www.christinebongiovanni.com/84


I am a marriage coach helping women and couples turn their loveless & emotionless marriage into something better than they ever imagined possible. My process starts by looking within to understand how you got here, and from this place, we work together to figure out where you want to go. Then we do the work of making that your reality!

If you feel sad and completely powerless about your marriage’s state of affairs, then I’d love to chat with you about what is going on and what’s possible for you and your future. It’s never too late to re-create your best life. Schedule a free mini-session today, and let’s talk about how to get started. 

 

How Building Self-Esteem Will Improve Your Marriage Ep 79

How Building Self-Esteem Will Improve Your Marriage | Marriage Coach

 

One of the main reasons happy relationships turn “bad” is because you’ve lost your sense of self.

You have lost yourself in the relationship and are desperately looking to your partner to do something about it.


Then you get bitter when they don’t.


All because you’ve never learned how to find safety within, a solid connection with yourself, and confidence to speak your truth for the betterment of the relationship.


This is why in AwakenYou, we start with you because without a solid foundation of safety, connection, and self-esteem, you’re never going to find the fiery intimacy you so desire. 

 

In this month’s Marriage Masterclass, I am going to help you:

  • Learn the difference between healthy, secure self-esteem and unhealthy, insecure self-esteem
  • Discover the truth about two different types of narcissism people struggle with so you can find empathy instead of rebellion
  • See how healthy pride in yourself is correlated with cultivating positive impact in the lives of others, including those you love the most 

Episodes referenced in this episode:
Ep 23: How To Process Emotions

Watch on YouTube

Download my free Abundant Love Mini-Course to help you to start thinking, and feeling, differently about your marriage.

Register for my free monthly Marriage Masterclass, where every month I talk about different ways you can change your marriage without changing your partner. Next month we will be talking about The Secret To Changing Your Marriage Without Changing Your Spouse: Creating Better Boundaries, register now! 

More resources and how you can start the process of Awakening Your True You and being the partner who creates your best vision of what marriage looks like for you: https://christinebongiovanni.com/

Join my AwakenYou newsletter for weekly marriage tips and early announcements of upcoming offerings.

Book your free mini-coaching session here.

Show webpage: www.christinebongiovanni.com/79


I am a marriage coach who helps women and couples go from feeling powerless to change how they feel about their marriage to feeling powerful and taking ownership of how they feel. My process isn’t about changing your partner; it’s about discovering who you are so that you can AwakenYou in your marriage, and through this process, you will begin to find that your partner will change as well! Schedule your free mini-coaching session today to discover how coaching can help you take your next steps forward toward what you want in your marriage.