Letting People’s Opinions Keep Us Stuck

When Other People's Opinions Keep Us Stuck

🎧 Prefer to listen to the audio version? Click here!

As humans, we are very concerned about what the tribe thinks of us, and once upon a time, for a good reason. Long ago, not fitting in could have meant being the group’s weak link, causing us to be left behind to survive on our own so the tribe wouldn’t be compromised. Fitting in was a matter of life or death!

Now in the twenty-first century, this is not the case for us adults living our modern-day life. Not fitting in will most definitely not cause us death, yet our brain will do it’s hardest to convince you that this is a lie. Our brain wants us to stay stuck in our limiting belief, it thinks you are safer there.

First, I want you to pick a recent decision you’ve wanted to make and see how another’s opinion might affect your decision.

Let’s start by playing a little game, you know me, I LOVE to play! Let’s go back to your last big decision; maybe it was getting out of bed this morning, for real! Just come up with any decision, and I’m going to show you how this works with a decision like getting out of bed.

Example decisions could be:

  • Having that cake or donut or pizza, or all three
  • Quitting your job and starting your own business
  • Taking some time off of work
  • Leaving the party early
  • Choosing to not have a drink at dinner with your friends
  • Joining a program or taking a class

Secondly, I’d like you to write down what you think other people’s opinions might be about your choice.

Let’s go back to waking up when the alarm goes off. Let’s also pretend that you have mentioned to your partner that you’d like to start getting up earlier to get your workout in before work. The alarm goes off in the morning when you wanted to get up, and your partner pops right up out of bed. You want to stay under the covers and snuggle in. The thought crosses your mind that he might think you are lazy for not getting out of bed when you said you would. Now you feel guilty for wanting to stay in bed, and you start complaining about being tired, how you want to sleep another 15 minutes. You stay under the covers but don’t sleep one bit; you complain and tell yourself stories about how annoying your partner is. 30 minutes later, you drag yourself out of bed, complain about how late it is, rush around like a crazy woman making for a stressful morning. All of this resulting in you not doing what you said you wanted to do, thinking that you’re lazy, and getting annoyed with your partner, blaming him for making you feel guilty. None of this has anything to do with what your partner does, says, thinks, but when we don’t take care of our own needs, we will often look outside of ourselves to reason for our discomfort.

Pay attention to how you are getting into someone else’s head and letting them determine your outcome. When we are thinking these things about other people they are reflections of what we are thinking about ourselves.

  • He thinks I’m lazy > I think I’m lazy
  • She thinks I should stick with my old job > I think I should keep my old job and I’m afraid to decide on me
  • They think I’m fat because I eat pizza > I think I’m fat
  • He thinks I should work instead of taking a vacation > I think I don’t deserve a vacation
  • She thinks I’m boring for leaving the party early > I think I’m boring
  • They don’t think I’ll finish this course I’m wanting to purchase > I don’t think I’m going to complete this course I’m wanting to purchase

Now imagine yourself being able to make that decision from a place of believing in yourself.

Imagine letting go of the meaning you are making other people’s actions mean. How can we get out of their head and stay in our own? The solution is in creating belief and self-confidence in yourself that allows you to let others be who they are and not make their actions mean anything about who you are as a person.

I like to imagine myself going to the space after making the decision I want to make, the one that honors me. How would you have let anyone else’s actions not mean anything about you and everything about them? How would you have allowed others to think, say, and do their own thing knowing that you have your own back? You left the party when you said, got to bed early, and woke up feeling amazing.

Then, imagine going to the space after not making the decision you wanted to make because of what you thought other people were thinking. You stayed at the party late, drank more than you wanted to, only got a few hours of sleep, and woke up with a hang-over.

While I was thinking about all of this and writing this post, I then thought about the scenario of peer pressure around seeking mental wellness.

One of the main reasons people don’t seek a mental wellness professional is the fear of what other people will think, other people’s opinions.

It keeps us from doing many of the things we want to do, like seeking a personal trainer, getting a gym membership, taking a dance class, and hiring a professional to help us with our business website. Still, the most detrimental decision it keeps us from is the decision to invest in our ourselves.

When we let go of what others think and decide to be all in on ourselves, that’s when we can actually invest in ourselves and create the success that we have only dreamed of in the past. The only way to fully get to that place is to trust and believe in yourself – exactly what we do in AwakenYou.

As you start building a strong relationship with yourself you start noticing when you’re holding yourself back. You already just did an exercise of awareness, the more you start to see what you’re doing and the error of your thoughts you can start self-correcting.

Once you begin to Awaken(YourTrue)You you’ll start to catch on when your brain is working in it’s old operating system and needs to be self corrected into it’s new mode of operation. That new upgraded operating system decides what’s best for us without worrying what others think.

If this article resonated with you I also wrote another blog about other people’s opinions that has a whole different perspective, go check it out!

🎧 Audio version of blog here!

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Are you struggling in your love relationship? I would love to help you fall back in love with the one you love. My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong women like you, and a few pretty cool guys, who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. Together we work from the inside out, meaning I teach you how to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself so you can show up and simply love your partner. Let’s reignite your love relationship today, book your consultation call today!

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If You Know How To Work Your Smart Phone You Can Succeed At Your 2019 Goals.

As I look out over the future, the last quarter of 2019, I can honestly say that I am excited!

A couple weeks ago I took inventory over my past year. I had a list that made me smile.

Then I started thinking about how my previous years have strolled by. Just like all of us, I’ve had better years along with the good years.

Did you notice the difference in that last sentence? Did it sound odd? I didn’t say anything about those BAD years. There is a good reason for that, I no longer look at any of my life experiences as bad.

They happened.

I couldn’t change them, trust me I really tried hard to though.

So I re-wrote them.

I re-created all of my negative past life stories into beautiful stories of powerful strength. All stories that now serve me to keep looking forward instead of back into the past. They no longer have power over me because I took the power and called it my own. Power that is propelling me into the highest potential of my future self.

Then I started thinking of all of you.

What do you think when you look back at the first three quarters of 2019?

What do you have planned for the last quarter so that you can bring a beautiful completion to it all? Tying it all up in a bow so you can open it and boldly move into the new year.

I know what your brain is telling you.

It thinks the best idea is to just put it off until 2020.

Why wouldn’t it?

You know, there’s all of those holidays coming up anyway, there isn’t enough time. It’s going to be SO busy. There definitely won’t be time to start those dreams that you’ve already put off most of the year.

This is where you want to pause and become aware.

Become aware of the fact that your brain is only doing what you have taught it so well to do.

I mean tell me the truth, how many times have you tried to:

  • lose that weight
  • save that money
  • plan that vacation
  • stop that drinking
  • stop losing time in front of your phone, computer or television screen

Remember, you can argue with your brain, go back and read this post for a refresher course.

Give yourself an early Christmas gift of creating positive change in your life.

It will be the gift that you give yourself that will keep giving in a life of pure satisfaction and joy.

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My Awaken(YourTrue)You program teaches incredibly powerful women like yourself how to identify and live out your truth. How to believe in your success and boldly share it with the world. How to leave a legacy.

I offer a free call to anyone brave enough to take the steps of creating the life they were meant to live. It’s a call for you to decide if this work is for you or not. I believe it is.

Share this message with a friend who needs to hear it, for every woman willing to do the work of becoming her best self there will be thousands of others impacted by her journey.

This is my life, join me in my mission to save the world, one powerful woman at a time.

How I Help You Actualize Your Dreams

As I write this post I am on a plane to Plano, Texas. It was exactly one year ago, to the month, that I left Plano to embark on a new life journey.

You see I had been living my dream job.

For thirty years I got to work in the lives of literally thousands of beautiful people. Coaching athletes to live out their own dreams in the athletic sports health and wellness industry.

That dream had been put on my heart while I was an athletic trainer in high school.

Laughed at when I spoke this dream out loud, told I was way too smart for that, I followed the footsteps of my dad, diving into the world of Chemical Engineering.

My heart told me this wasn’t me.

Then I took the exit ramp off that highway and decided to step into the world of journalism and graphic design, both still loves of my life, yet insecurity had planted it’s seed deep in my soul. I never truly allowed myself to bloom fully into this field. (Can I just say that it’s made me so happy that this passion has been able to continue on with me throughout all of what I’ve done. This makes my heart shine so much!)

Life happened, I got laid off, and I found myself desperate to make money so I ended up, basically, where I originally dreamed of being.

Yet it still never felt right.

I always felt like I was under actualizing my capability, I was smarter than this.

I never fully allowed myself to absorb the magical life I had fallen into.

Insecurity, thoughts of being smarter than this, of not being fully worthy settled in yet deeper.

For thirty more years.

I literally did my best to destroy myself, never good enough, never allowing myself the joy I deserved.

I struggled to find true happiness in my life.

Then I discovered life coaching. This created a huge curiosity within my soul. Was this my next chapter?

I applied the principles.

I got myself coached.

My life changed.

A LOT.

I started to feel myself get set free.

This was so beautiful I could not keep it to myself.

It set my world on fire.

Now, one year later, as I head to my Mastermind in Plano, Texas, I can say that my life is shining.

I can say I’m smart, really smart.

I can say I am amazing, truly amazing.

I can say I absolutely LOVE what I do, 1000 (thousand) percent!

I can say I am grateful because now I REALLY get to help people blow up their life.

Not just through health and wellness and succeeding as an athlete but in EVERY area of their life.

You.

I see you.

I love you.

I want to show you how to make YOUR life shine.

It is 100% possible!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

A Story Of An Eagle’s Transformation

The story of an eagle's transformation

There is something majestically intriguing about the American Bald Eagle, for me it is their powerful and calm demeanor that radiates out from within. They provide an example of supreme power that does not carry an ounce of pride. It has solid self confidence.

The day before my Summer Retreat Two: Bloom, I was outside, next to the lake working on my computer when I felt his presence. His shadow enveloped me as he passed overhead. As I looked up to see what that power that I felt was, I saw him fly over the trees to my right, make a u-turn and then dive down 30 feet in front of me. He effortlessly grabbed large fish out of the water and proceeded to fly, skimming the water, across the lake to land on the opposite bank and consume his lunch.

I just stood in fascination as I watched him.

This week I read a story about how eagles go through a “midlife transformation” around thirty years of age. The story told of how in order to live on they had to retreat to a mountain top, sit on it’s nest, while going through a process of plucking out it’s beak, talons and feathers. If they are able to go through this process and survive, the story tells about how they will live another 30-40 years.

This story completely intrigued me, compelling me to write about it and how it compares to the work I am doing in both my life and the lives of my clients. I was excited to be able to use this story as a source of encouragement in our own transformation processes.

A story of renewal, of dropping our old past life story, your self creation, and re-writing your story, transforming your entire life into one of fulfillment and purpose.

I was a bit disappointed to discover that the story is a fallacy but with it, true or false, I was still able to pull out some incredible wisdom.

Wisdom in that we can go through a transformation process that doesn’t require us to do anything to our outward physical bodies.

Wisdom in that for true transformation to occur we do need to separate ourselves, go to the mountaintop, so we can look deep down inside at who we have become and why.

Wisdom in that this journey does bring us life. True transformation allows us to let go and change the thoughts that are keeping us from growing into our true self.

Wisdom in that our transformation changes us from the inside and as that change flourishes, it also changes us on the outside.

The eagle’s transformation story is a myth but your transformation story doesn’t need to be.

I am writing my truth and sharing it with the world because I want the world to know that they too can write their own truth.

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I am a life coach working with individuals looking to change their current or future romantic relationship – my program helps them discover that they are enough. This self-love empowers and equips them to take continual, forward steps in achieving the healthy, romantic relationship they desire. Are you ready to explore this journey in your life? Schedule your program inquiry call today and let’s decide together if this is your next step to creating the life you’ve been dreaming of.

How To End Your Power Struggle With Food

I have been on an interesting journey with food and today I am going to share a bit of my journey. I am sharing it because I want to bring hope to others who struggle with food and through my years of coaching athletes, I know that it’s a lot of you.

To begin, often times when I ask people if they struggle with food, if food has any power over them, I often get a mixed response. Some will say yes. Some will say no. Some cry out in the pain of their struggle. Yet as the conversation moves forward even those who stated that food had no power over them have discovered the truth, that it does.

Food has control over your mind when there is a whisper to go eat something and you can’t say no.

Food has control over your mind when you can’t sit down to relax without the need to include something to eat.

Food has control over you if you eat food that you made an agreement with yourself not to eat.

Can’t drive by the coffee shop without wanting to stop for a coffee? Where is your power in that moment?

Food doesn’t have power over you only when you wight more than your natural body weight. There are so many of us at, or close, to our natural body weight, maybe even below, who still have a controlling relationship with food.

My relationship with food goes way back to my early childhood developing into a disordered eating habit. This disordered eating revolved around control and resistance, wanting to look a certain way so that people would love me.

I’m not going to get into the deep complexity of my journey but am sharing that because most people have seen me as having massive control around food. Control I had, lots and lots of CONTROL.

In the past year I have been massively applying the principles I teach my stop overeating clients in an effort to truly experience their journey. To be able to teach from a place of sympathy and compassion for what they struggle with is what I am achieving. I am becoming an example of what is possible for everyone.

As I do this work, as I peel back the layers of mind opening acknowledgements, I move closer and closer to a state of complete freedom around food. As I do this work my mind is becoming free, free to spend energy on creating a more fulfilling life for myself and for my clients.

My process works like no other process you have tried to achieve this freedom.

My process works like no other process, but only if you’re willing to put in the work. It’s not easy but it is mind blowing, life changing and radically effective.

It is my belief that here in America, we have a food problem and the solution isn’t in controlling food, it’s in controlling your mind.

The prompt for writing about this came from one of my recent experiences, actually just a few days ago. It was a Sunday afternoon, I was getting ready to go to my brother’s cabin for a week. The day was beautifully playing itself out, until right before I hit the road. Jeff and I were enjoying an early dinner together when it came to me that we should’ve bought a dessert to share.

That was the just the beginning of a long, two hour battle, with my brain.

At that point my brain was driven to have me stop somewhere to get a treat. It was fully justifying every option I passed, I was heading to the cabin, of course you need a treat! My brain was fighting hard. It kept tugging me to pull over and it was determined to win.

At about ninety minutes in I couldn’t help but marvel at how many times I had allowed the urge, watched it dissipate and then BAM, it was right back in my brain.

I spent most of the drive watching my brain, like watching two toddlers in the back seat, lying, kicking, screaming, justifying.

I’m happy to say I won.

The long drive gave me the opportunity to really watch how this all can play out. I allowed myself to watch the play by play of taking the time to pull over, telling myself I’d only eat part of it, but of course eating it all. Possibly even purchasing more for the week, because who doesn’t relax at the cabin with treats?

The food is so powerful!

That is a lie, the power is in you. You have the power to reject the brain’s desire to seek pleasure at your own expense.

You are fighting with your brain, not with the food.

So stop giving your power to the chips, the fancy coffee, the dessert, the second serving, the food after the meal, whatever it is that is calling you into another battle.

You are stronger than the food.

Doing this work teaches you how to re-train your brain out of these old self taught habits.

Every step forward is a step forward.

Every step back should be taken as a learning experience that propels you two steps forward.

If you you live a life chained to the power of food, it’s time to start releasing the chains, I’ve got the hammer and the chisel!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Living Every Moment Like You Know The Final Winning Score

The other day I was thinking about our life in comparison to watching a football game that was pre-recorded. Maybe a game like the Vikings playoff game against the Saints in January of 2018 where Stefon Diggs makes the miracle touchdown catch. One we didn’t get to watch live but knew the results because EVERYONE was talking about it.

As you watch the game that you pre-recorded you might be screaming and yelling when those Vikings were behind. You might even quit watching because it seems, yet again, that the Vikings are going to lose another playoff game.

Then you remember what the final score is in the game and you’re all excited again, patiently waiting for that famous play.

This was making me think about our life and knowing the final result. For us believers, the end of our story is already written. We have won.

Yet in the middle of our problem we often forget this fact. Sometimes we want to just give up.

When we stop and remember that we know the final score we can choose love.

We can choose love in the middle of any of our problems because it’s not a story with a happy ending – it’s a story with no ending.

We know the never ending life we live is a story of never ending love.

We know we can choose love, even in the middle of the storm, because in the end, when we step into eternity the game is already won.

Love always wins.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.