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Humans, in general, are results-driven, whether we even know it or not, we are always creating some sort of result. I have always been result-driven, I went to college thinking I wanted to be a Chemical Engineer, figuring out the solution to problems on paper seemed very logical and came fairly easily for me. Wonderfully, it still serves me today because I like thinking about my desired result and work backward from there. So the day I found the self-coaching thought model, I was a bit in problem-solving heaven. The truth is that in my life, I haven’t always believed creating the results I wanted to be as possible as figuring out the result of an organic chemistry problem. That is until I found the self-coaching thought model.

This week we’re on week six of my seven-part series, where we are breaking down the very first, and most important tool I teach my clients, the self-coaching thought model. If you are just joining me this week, I invite you to go back to the first post in the series, my brain flossing post, and get yourself caught up before you join in here.

What is a result?

A result, according to Google, is a consequence, effect, or outcome of something. When we look at the self-coaching model, the result is the end of the model; it’s what we come up with when we see all of the actions we take. Your emotion fuels those actions we are feeling. The emotion we are feeling comes from the thought we are thinking about the circumstance in our life. Pure math. Sort of.

The result line in the self-coaching model is our result only, the result we are creating for ourselves. It will never include someone else’s result or what someone else is doing.

Past results

So now that we know where our results come from we can look at every result we have gotten in our past and see that we ourselves created that result. It wasn’t because of something that someone else did, we created it with our thinking. Stay with me, keep following along and this will start to make sense.

Let’s look at an example of a circumstance of a past ended relationship. Remember, we are always looking at ourselves; what actions did you take to create the result of leaving a relationship? What feeling drove those actions? What thought were you thinking about that specific relationship that made you feel that way? Obviously, there are many, many, many circumstances, or facts surrounding a broken relationship but we only need to look at one at a time to find that we created that result for ourselves.

Current results

The same goes for where we are right now in our life. Let’s use the example of being in a relationship with someone you have chosen. Maybe you think your result is that you are unfulfilled in that relationship, what actions are you taking to create you being in that relationship? What emotion is driving those actions? What are you thinking that creates the feeling you feel when you think about being in a relationship with that person?

Future results

Now let’s look at the circumstance of being in that same relationship that we talked about in the current results above. Let’s say you want the result of being fulfilled in your relationship. Now you can ask yourself how you’ll need to act, feel, and think about that very same relationship. We will need to change our current thinking so that we can get to this new result. We will have to think like our future self, the person who has already reached the result of being in a fulfilling relationship. I know, a bit mind bendy but 100% possible.

Our thinking creates our results and this is why I encourage my clients to think big, not limiting themselves, to write down all of their dreams. I help them not to fail ahead of time by telling themselves that their goals are only fantasy.

Action steps

This week I want you to start looking at your past, present and future results. Start writing them down, start a list for all three, and keep adding to them daily as you think of more results you’ve achieved or want to achieve. Write down the positive along with the ones you chose to think of as negative. Your brain will gravitate to the ones you consider negative so make sure you balance it out with those you believe to be positive, Then I want you to consider how you think about the ones you consider to be negative. What if you thought differently about them? What if they actually weren’t negative but exactly what you needed to help you move forward into something different?

Truly getting the results we want in our love relationships and our lives are just math. Over the past six weeks, I have broken down each part of the thought model equation. The thought model is the answer to every problem in our life; everything fits into the model, so now we can start playing around and creating results we want. Now that we can see our current results and how we achieved them, next week, I’m going to help you put it all together. You’ll learn how to use the equation to begin creating the love relationship of your dreams.

🎧 Audio version of blog here!


My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for women who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. I show you how to stop settling and bring back the love, connection, and excitement you crave. Let’s re-ignite your love relationship today!

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