What is it? That’s what I’m digging into today and let’s start some definitions.
Relationship: our thoughts about someone
Scarcity: insufficiency or shortness of supply
When we marry these two words it set us up for relationships that are never enough. Relationship scarcity sets us up to never feeling great or all in with our relationships, even during times when things seem to be going really well, because, you know, we’re sure to lose it.
When I put these two words together it fully described how I used to think about most, maybe even all, of my relationships.
Relationship scarcity is the belief that there is never enough relationship love in your life.
You think your parents didn’t, maybe still don’t, give you enough love, so you can’t love them back.
Your friends just don’t quite measure up and you keep them at a distance.
You seek attention from people by conforming, or fitting in, fearing people won’t like you, yet you also fear commitment. Instead you put up your walls of protection.
Love relationships start out intense but sooner than later the excitement wears off. You end the relationship before they can to protect yourself from hurting.
Relationship scarcity comes when we expect others to supply us with love, often setting root early on in our lives. Possibly not receiving the love and nurturing you needed as a child which sent you looking for it elsewhere.
Now as adults we have the ability to change course and make our relationships work for us. Yes, it’s truly possible.
When we have a belief that our happiness is supplied by other people it puts the power of the relationship in their hands. When they aren’t doing or saying things that make us feel love or connection then love will always seem scarce.
Some examples of relationship scarcity:
- Thinking that we don’t have many friends
- Telling other people all about our other friends, even though we don’t really believe they are our friends.
- Wanting friends so we look good.
- Thinking we’re too busy for friends.
- Complaining that they don’t do the right things so we can feel love.
- There aren’t enough of the right type of people here for me to make friends.
I want to help you recognize your own relationship scarcity thoughts as well as give you some steps to start overcoming them.
- The first step is truly just becoming aware of your relationship scarcity thinking. Start paying attention to when you are doing things in an effort to try and make someone like you. If you complain about how they act after you took those actions, then it’s time to examine your motive behind your actions. Also, start becoming aware of who you are focusing on, are you really listening to them and hearing the positive, or the opposite? Are you desperate for their attention and if you don’t get it do you feel unloved?
- Take a look at your belief system. Your belief system is just thoughts you’ve repeated enough times that now they have become a belief. Do you have rules that you believe your friends need to follow in order to be true friends? Does your love for other people come with conditions? Do you have rules for how someone who loves you should act?
- Start questioning all of your beliefs. What if it didn’t matter how other people acted, that you could love them no matter what? Can you love people even when they don’t love you back? Do your relationships need to have any rules except that you love them unconditionally? Just question them, examine your answers, ask yourself why and then just make sure you love what you believe.
- Learn how to trust yourself. Scarcity comes from not trusting others, from the belief that others can hurt you. The truth is that other people can’t hurt you unless you let them through your thoughts. We can get to the place where we’re able to think such great thoughts about ourselves that it doesn’t matter what anyone else does, it doesn’t have to shake us. Even if they leave and never come back.
- Have your own back. This by far is the most important step to overcoming relationship scarcity. Building a trusting, loving relationship with yourself is the first step towards relationship abundance.
From this place you get to decide who you want to be spend time in relationship with. Because our relationships are all of our thoughts about someone, we get to decide what we want to think and how those thoughts serve us.
Relationship scarcity is real but it’s not something that you have to carry along with you. You get to choose whether you want to continue to get the relationship results you’ve been getting or if you want something better for your life. It is 100% possible to become the person who believes they were created for a loving relationship, to go find it, create it and forever live in relationship abundance.
Next week I’m going to explore relationship abundance and show you what life, love and relationship look like on the other side of possibility.
My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for people who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it my mission to show you how.
I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.
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