I have to admit, I’ve had several months of mostly the positive 50.
What I mean by this is that though I do experience negative moments/times during this time I’m calling the positive 50, overall, when I summarize my day it’s a net positive. Meaning I’m carrying a general positive atmosphere.
Then the cloud rolled in.
“No problem.” was my thought; I know how to self coach, this will be easy.
Then the cloud got bigger, darker.
The more I self coached the deeper I seemed to get into the net negative.
“Interesting.” I thought.
Allowing feelings.
One of my pieces of work in my own self coaching is learning how to allow feelings.
With several positive emotions I have noticed I feel them coming on and I watch myself squash them.
With negative emotions, well, I’m working on these in a different way. For me, I find that I just don’t feel many of the negative. I resisted them for so long that I have forgotten how they feel.
This is my work.
This is the work I do with my clients.
As I work through this negative bump in the road I’ve noticed something.
I have noticed the exact opposite of what I’ve been experiencing the past several months.
I’m noticing the net negative and that’s our conversation for today.
What exactly is the “net negative”?
So glad you asked!
These net negative days are similar to those positive days I talked about earlier, but exactly the opposite. At the end of the day when I’m summarizing my day, I have noticed that the negative has almost swallowed up the positive in the day.
Sort of like the beautiful moments of sunshine on a dark, cloudy day, we forget about them.
At the end of these days my brain wanted to tell me how awful everything was.
I had to ask it what was amazing about the day.
It was only after asking this questions that I realized there was so much to celebrate:
- Social time with beautiful friends
- Social time with family
- Loving community and conversation
- Many deeds done
But yet it was still the net negative summarizing the day.
You know what is different about my net negative days now?
- I know how to process through them
- I am learning how to be curious about them
- I’m learning how to allow the emotions instead of fighting them, resisting them, acting out on them, judging them
- I’m enjoying watching what is going on in my brain, knowing this too shall pass
Dark days are going to come my friend and when they do, how do you want to handle them?
Do you want them to consume you, pulling you down into a deep hole?
Do you want to be able to watch them like an interesting movie? Being able to process them and find the beauty in the beast?
Me? I prefer the latter. It feels so much better and it allows me to see the clouds for what they are so that when the sun does shine I can run free in it.
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