After hearing my master coach instructor Jody Moore explain guilt in a plain and simple fashion, my mind exploded a bit. I compared it to how I experienced guilt and then I quickly went on a mission to terminate my ongoing relationship with guilt.
Guilt is when you have two different things you want to do at the same time, choosing to do one and then feeling guilty that you didn’t choose the other.
Have you committed to doing one thing and now regret your decision, causing you to think about backing out? This too could cause guilt but I would beg you to consider why you originally agreed to the commitment. Did you agree out of a place of wanting to make the other person happy? If so, you may want to read my article on people pleasing. If you’re not wanting to do something you committed to maybe something has changed for you between the commitment and now, in that case you could save yourself time and energy by either declining or just following through. Otherwise it’s quite possible that you agreed out of a place of wanting that person to like you for saying yes to them.
This used to happen to me all of the time and of course I was a people pleaser on top of it all so I would say yes to things I didn’t truly want to do, then of course when they rolled around I would not want to go and then feel guilty about it.
In order to help you understand what happens I’m going to run through an example:
It’s Friday and your girlfriend sends you a message asking if you want to go to dinner after work. It’s sounds like an amazing idea, you haven’t seen her in forever. Then you remember that you had been planning on heading straight home to your lounge clothes and snuggling up with that good book you started last week.
Let’s pretend you say no, you go home after work, and feel guilty about not saying yes to the dinner date.
Let’s do a thought model on this scenario:
You’re thinking “I should have said yes” which is causing you to feel guilty, which makes you ruminate about what you should have done, beat yourself up for not being a good friend, not enjoy your book or the couch or your evening at all, you maybe even think about sending her a message to see if the offer is still valid.
Result: you say no to you.
When I see myself doing this sort of silly nonsense I stop that nasty guilt right in it’s tracks and start changing my model. Let me show you how:
I decide that I want my result to be that I say yes to me in this scenario.
In order to get this result I decide to be all in with this decision, stop wasting time and energy ruminating and beating myself up, do what I said I was going to do and enjoy it thoroughly and find time in the future to create an amazing time with my girlfriend.
In order to follow through with these actions I will need to feel something like self confident, courageous, self love.
To feel self confident I will need to think something like “I am going to follow through on my original plan.”
Using the thought model to help me see the result of my thoughts helps me clean up my brain and start thinking in a way that gives me the results that I want in my life.
This is how you start getting out of your own way.
I hope this helps you to be able to look at how guilt is playing out for you in your life and then allow you to also start eliminating it.
If you struggle with guilt and feel like you would like further help stepping out of it, I would love to walk you through it, I’ve got you! Set up a program inquiry session or send me an email with your questions. I make it my mission to help people like you set themselves free from guilt so they can move into their purposeful life.
My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.
I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.
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