Cultivating power in your relationship is something many of us strive to have but for all of the wrong reasons. Most often we are doing the useless work of attempting to control the other person in an effort to feel better. If you’ve been using this tactic you might have already realized that controlling others doesn’t work, if it did, that’s what I’d be teaching. Attempting to control others might at first appear to work, they might do what you ask them to do in order for you to feel better, but over time it only leads to resentment and your partner not being their authentic self, the person you actually fell in love with.
Today I’m talking about a whole different sort of power, a power that comes from within yourself and has nothing at all to do with your partner. I’m talking about a lasting power that will take your most intimate relationship to heights you never even dreamed possible. You will definitely be at the effect of your relationship but in a beautiful way because you will be thinking about your relationship in a positive, instead of a negative, way.
Yes, you have the power, all on your own, to turn your relationship around. Being the strong willed person that I imagine you to be, I’ll bet that sounds very appealing, but I want you to consider it appealing only to prove it to yourself, not to prove it to your spouse. You are going to go from feeling completely powerless as to where your relationship is headed, to feeling 100% in control of your relationship destiny. Let’s dig in!
So now that you know where your power comes from, let’s look at how you can generate that power on a daily basis, I have 11 steps to share with you
- Start letting go of trying to control them, let go of the manual you have for them. Power doesn’t control, need to destroy or put down. Power comes when you can lift yourself up. When you lift yourself up you are then equipped and able to lift up others. The only thing you have to control is how you respond to them.
- Doing the work of taking your relationship dreams and making them a reality in your life. I wrote all about this in a previous post, go there and discover what that looks like.
- Understanding that change takes time and lots of uncomfortable failure and knowing that this is what happens when we take on goals that are important to you. You decide on purpose to keep moving forward and believing in the result no matter what.
- Re-read #3 and then not allowing failure to mean anything except that you are learning and growing and getting closer to your dream.
- You learn how to feel your emotions instead of avoiding them through destructive behaviors like overeating, fighting, withdrawing, drinking, pornography, spending money.
- Saying no to habits that steal your power like blaming someone for how you feel, or resenting someone for not taking care of your needs, and people pleasing.
- Learning how to love someone without conditions. This means being able to love them no matter what they say or do. It means our emotions are not controlled by how someone else is showing up and not making how they are acting mean anything about us. Knowing that love feels amazing and not just the getting of it, but also in the giving. Not loving someone doesn’t protect you, choosing not to love someone because you don’t want to get hurt is just hurting yourself ahead of time. Loving never hurts. Loving is the opposite of hurt. Saying “they don’t deserve my love” is simply denying yourself of the feeling of love.
- Believing in yourself. Believing that every action step you take to up level your love relationship increases your capacity to be powerful.
- Learning that being vulnerable builds your capability and confidence and power. Believing that being vulnerable does not make you weak.
- Realizing that your past mistakes don’t limit you. Knowing that there are no wrong decisions is how our past creates power, it’s when we don’t learn and grow from our decisions that we lose power.
- Reminding yourself on a daily basis that you are 100% worthy, your relationship goal is 100% available and worthy, and that your partner cannot create that worth for you, that’s where your power comes in.
When you realize that the pain you are feeling in your relationship is completely optional and that you have the power to eliminate that pain, that’s when you take your whole life back into your own hands. You have the power to make decisions about how your’e going to show up, to not react to someone else’s emotions, to look at what might be happening for them and know it has nothing to do with you. Then you’ll be able to show compassion, to drop manuals and allow people to be who they are while not making their actions mean anything about you. You will take your power back when you stop blaming others for how you feel and learn how to feel the way you want to feel, showing up in a way that serves you, that’s where your power is my love!
You know what is the most powerful thing that will come from you taking your power back? You are going to see a whole healing transformation happen in that relationship you thought had no hope. You are going to start seeing what you thought was only a dream become your reality because you decided to take your power back, to be all in and you are going to be so glad you didn’t give up. Bringing the romance back into your love relationship happens when you step into your power and believe that your dream can come true!
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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for women who want to stop hurting in their most intimate relationship. I show you how to stop settling and bring back the love, connection and excitement you crave. Let’s re-ignite your love relationship today!
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