I used to wonder why it was that I didn’t have many friendships.
I thought it was possibly because I just didn’t trust many people.
I thought that possibly it was because I was an introvert.
I thought it was because I wasn’t likeable.
I was always comparing myself and my “friendships” to those that other people talked about.
Interestingly enough though, now I feel like I have lots of amazing friendships.
You see, while I’ve met plenty of new people that I consider friends, that isn’t what has changed because plenty of the people I’ve known for a long time I now look at differently. All of this is because I have been doing the work of truly discovering who I am and with powerful intention, living that out.
What does this have anything to do with creating friends? Read on my friend and find out how you too can create amazing friendships in your life, without even meeting anyone new.
When you love yourself you have self confidence in yourself which means you get to be yourself and you don’t allow people to control how you show up.
This of course, is the most important step because when we don’t love ourselves it’s quite difficult to truly love others. We’re always being someone else for the people, showing up how we think they want us to show up and this doesn’t leave us any room to actually enjoy the time together.
I was always trying to people please, controlling what other people think of me in an effort to get them to show me love in return, which is completely exhausting. No wonder I wanted to go home and be by myself!
When people would ask me to do things with them these were my go to responses:
- make excuses as to why I couldn’t make it
- say I would go, then ditch at the last minute
- say I would go while dreading every moment up to, during and after the engagement
Not anymore! Now I either say yes because I want to go and I’m all in or I say no because I want to say no and neither has anything to do with the reaction I’ll get from the other person. My responses are genuine, I’m being fulling honest about what I want to allow into my life and I love my reasons.
Let people be who they are and fully love them.
Then decide whether you want to spend any time with them.
Did you know you can love someone but not agree with how they live their life? Did you know that everyone, yes, everyone, is fully lovable? Yeah, really.
When you learn how to love yourself you also learn how to allow people to be who they are, without it affecting how you feel.
This was a breakthrough for me with the people I now call friends. I let them be themselves, I get to be me and I get to decide how much time I spend with them.
Friendships only require one to participate.
This is full freedom.
This means that you can be friends with someone and they may not even know you exist! The other thing I realized as I was thinking about this is that the opposite is also true, there are people out there who think you are their friend and you may not even know them.
This is true my friend, you have friends you don’t even know.
If you are one of those people in my life I sure hope you introduce yourself to me, I want to get to know you and have an opportunity to share the relationship!
This actually sank in for me one day when I was talking to someone and I mentioned a “friend”, I actually paused after I said that and revisited it later coming to the following conclusion. You see, the reason I had paused during the conversation was because I had stopped momentarily to contemplate as to whether I truly was a friend with the person I had been talking about. Upon further reflection I truly realized that this person was a friend to me and though I didn’t really know whether this person would agree that they too were friends with me, it didn’t matter. I considered her a friend, no matter what.
This was a breakthrough for me on many levels. First, it demonstrated how far I had come in my journey of going from not having any value for myself to falling fully in love with who I was created to be. It showed me how I was no longer at the mercy of what others thought of me. Secondly, it sent me back to before I started this love journey. It sent me back to a time when I felt like I didn’t have any friends and though I felt like this, I would tell other people all about my friends, with guilt and shame, so that other people would think that I had friends.
AKA people pleasing.
Also known as controlling how other people thought of me.
Let others be wrong about you.
This one of my favorites, I stole it from my Master Coach, Brooke Castillo.
This gives me complete freedom to love myself and let others not. Some people just won’t be your friend, and that is ok, you can still love them with all of your heart!
If you’re feeling like there is something wrong with you. If you wonder why you don’t have any friends. If you wonder why you don’t feel connected to any of the people you are calling friends, then let me share a little fact with you, you are not alone. I was there with you. Actually, I had lots of “friends” but none of them felt like friends.
Something has changed and it’s not them.
Something can change for you too, I promise it’s possible.
My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.
I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.
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