Your Top Three Emotions And How They Reveal The Results In Your Life

Feelings, or emotions, it seems like a bunch of wasted time to look at them, right?

Wrong.

Read on to find out why they are so important.

Feelings start in our brain. They are caused by something that we are thinking, when we feel the emotion, the brain sends out chemicals to the body, these chemicals create vibrations in the body.

Feelings are the third line in the Thought Model, they are a one word emotion that drives the actions you take with the things you do on a daily basis.

I have found that we as humans are pretty numb to our emotions. Discovering what emotions we are feeling is one of the first, and fundamental, things I teach.

Think about it for a moment, everything we want in life is because of how we think it will make us feel.

So now, think about what you want.

Then ask yourself what you really, really want (insert Spice Girl Wannabe lyrics).

Lastly, ask yourself how you think you’ll feel when you get what you really want.

BINGO!

You want the feeling that thing will give you.

The next question I’ll ask is how you can create that feeling now?

This is the magical work I do with my Awaken(TheTrue)You program clients.

I help them start to fill that void the have in their life. I teach them how to stop attempting to fill it with external things.

Once they are able to start closing that void their brain is free to start focusing on what they really, truly want in their life.

Then we start creating it.

They step off of their hamster wheel and into the life of their dreams.

They start creating the results that they didn’t even realize they wanted to create.

It’s beautiful.

Let’s keep moving forward with some more awareness activities.

Ask yourself what your top three most common emotions are on a daily basis and why you feel them.

Here’s a list to get you started.

If you’re feeling brave go ahead and describe each feeling, then how you deal with each one.

Then ask yourself what are the top three emotions you want to have on a daily basis and why.

If you felt this way on a daily basis how might you show up differently in your life?

Showing up the way you want to show up will change your life forever.

The best part?

You don’t even need to change any of the external things in your life for this to happen, like your job, your boss, spouse, child, friend, state, car, house.

If you struggle with feeling joy, excitement, enthusiasm, responsible, determined, proud and want help changing the results you are currently getting in your life then let’s find some time to chat. Let’s talk about whether working with me might be a fit for the next step in your life, you can book your free session here or send me an email with days and times that will work for you.

Make today the first day of the best days of your life!

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Guilt Explained So You Can Start Stopping It

After hearing my master coach instructor Jody Moore explain guilt in a plain and simple fashion, my mind exploded a bit. I compared it to how I experienced guilt and then I quickly went on a mission to terminate my ongoing relationship with guilt.

Guilt is when you have two different things you want to do at the same time, choosing to do one and then feeling guilty that you didn’t choose the other.

Have you committed to doing one thing and now regret your decision, causing you to think about backing out? This too could cause guilt but I would beg you to consider why you originally agreed to the commitment. Did you agree out of a place of wanting to make the other person happy? If so, you may want to read my article on people pleasing. If you’re not wanting to do something you committed to maybe something has changed for you between the commitment and now, in that case you could save yourself time and energy by either declining or just following through.  Otherwise it’s quite possible that you agreed out of a place of wanting that person to like you for saying yes to them.

This used to happen to me all of the time and of course I was a people pleaser on top of it all so I would say yes to things I didn’t truly want to do, then of course when they rolled around I would not want to go and then feel guilty about it.

In order to help you understand what happens I’m going to run through an example:

It’s Friday and your girlfriend sends you a message asking if you want to go to dinner after work. It’s sounds like an amazing idea, you haven’t seen her in forever. Then you remember that you had been planning on heading straight home to your lounge clothes and snuggling up with that good book you started last week.

Let’s pretend you say no, you go home after work, and feel guilty about not saying yes to the dinner date.

Let’s do a thought model on this scenario:

You’re thinking “I should have said yes” which is causing you to feel guilty, which makes you ruminate about what you should have done, beat yourself up for not being a good friend, not enjoy your book or the couch or your evening at all, you maybe even think about sending her a message to see if the offer is still valid.

Result: you say no to you.

When I see myself doing this sort of silly nonsense I stop that nasty guilt right in it’s tracks and start changing my model. Let me show you how:

I decide that I want my result to be that I say yes to me in this scenario.

In order to get this result I decide to be all in with this decision, stop wasting time and energy ruminating and beating myself up, do what I said I was going to do and enjoy it thoroughly and find time in the future to create an amazing time with my girlfriend.

In order to follow through with these actions I will need to feel something like self confident, courageous, self love.

To feel self confident I will need to think something like “I am going to follow through on my original plan.”

Using the thought model to help me see the result of my thoughts helps me clean up my brain and start thinking in a way that gives me the results that I want in my life.

This is how you start getting out of your own way.

I hope this helps you to be able to look at how guilt is playing out for you in your life and then allow you to also start eliminating it.

If you struggle with guilt and feel like you would like further help stepping out of it, I would love to walk you through it, I’ve got you! Set up a program inquiry session or send me an email with your questions. I make it my mission to help people like you set themselves free from guilt so they can move into their purposeful life.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

Shame: What It Is, Why You Feel It And How To Set It Free

Let’s start out with what shame is.

I love my coach instructor Jody Moore’s definition of shame that she used in a recent coaching session:

It’s what we feel when we do something that is out of alignment with who we want to be.

This has been the best description of shame for me because it resonates with me and when I feel shame. For me, it truly does come from times when I’ve done things that were way out of line from who I wanted to be as a human in this world.

The reason we feel the shame:

Judgement.

We judge ourselves negatively for doing the thing that we really don’t want to do.

We think that if we beat ourselves up over what we did it will somehow make us change.

Kind of like thinking that yelling at our kids will make them change.

Thankfully, it doesn’t work like that.

Thankfully because once we become aware of this truth we discover that the solution is within us, not outside of us.

We start realizing that beating ourselves up is giving us the opposite of what we truly want.

What actually happens is we start to get used to the feeling that shame generates and then continue to create the feeling over and over. Our body gets used to the chemical response and will continue to create it every time we do something out of line with who we ultimately want to be.

Our brain likes to look for what’s wrong and you have trained it to continue to respond this way because you’ve done it enough times that it’s now a conditioned response.

Let’s look at some examples:

  • I ate what I told myself I wouldn’t eat:
    • learned responses:
      • “I’m never going to learn.”
      • “I’m stupid.”
      • “What is wrong with me?”
      • “Of course I did that, I wouldn’t expect anything better.”
  • I yelled at my child:
    • learned responses:
      • “I’m an awful mom.”
      • “I can’t control my emotions.”
      • “I’m ruining my children.”
  • I spent money I didn’t have:
    • learned responses:
      • “I don’t know how to manage my urges.”
      • “I’m irresponsible.”
      • “I’ll never have any money in the bank.”

How to set it free.

The path to setting shame free is multi-faceted but let’s take a look at how to start the journey.

  • The first step is to become aware of your negative self talk.

When we do something that is against the person we want to be just start to become curious about how you treat and talk to yourself. What do you say? Are you treating yourself with love and compassion? My guess is you are not.

  • Start journalling.

Write down what you did and all of the things you made what you did mean. Write down how those words make you feel. How that makes you show up for yourself.

  • Start generating new thoughts.

From the examples above they might look like:

    • I ate what I told myself I wouldn’t eat:
      • new responses:
        • “I’m open to the idea that I can figure this out.”
        • “It’s possible that I’m smart.”
        • “There isn’t anything wrong with me”
        • “I am becoming the person that expects the best from myself.”
    • I yelled at my child:
      • new responses:
        • “I am becoming the mom I want to be.”
        • “I am learning how to control my emotions.”
        • “My children are going to be amazing.”
    • I spent money I didn’t have:
      • new responses:
        • “Someday I will be able to allow my urges.”
        • “I might be wrong about the thought that I’m irresponsible.”
        • “I will be a person who has money in the bank.”

With time, as you begin to believe the new thoughts, you will be able to create stronger thoughts that will take you to the person who recognizes shame before she lets it in the door.

With time you will be able say hello to shame and kindly ask it to leave.

You can become the person that tells shame that it is no longer welcome because you have replaced shame with self love, self compassion, self confidence.

If you are someone who struggles with shame I would love an opportunity to share a conversation about whether my program is a fit for you. As you become more confident in the possibility of you and creating the life you know you were created to live I’d love to encourage you to slide into the fast lane of your life purpose.

_______________________________________

My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.

One Difference Between Those Who Achieve Their Goals & Those Who Don’t

One Difference Between Those Who Achieve Their Goals & Those Who Don't | Relationship Coach

I am starting to see a pattern in my clients and the success that they achieve, or that they don’t achieve.

Their level of success started with their belief of whether they could succeed or not.

The bottom line factor is their level of belief in their ability to achieve the desired result, starting from the very start of the program.

It’s super interesting because looking back from my new perspective as a life coach, allows me to go back into 30 years of client case studies.

Those who achieved massive results were not the ones who were genetically gifted.

The ones who achieved massive results believed that they would.

They were solid in both their belief in themselves and my program.

They were able to take the mind management tools and implement them to deepen their belief.

They were able to visualize themselves as the person they wanted to be at the end of the program.

They believed so hard that they were already putting into action that person from the future, thinking with her evolved brain.

I can even see this in my own work.

There were many obstacles where I couldn’t see myself on the other side.

Do you know what’s funny? I never made it to the other side of those obstacles.

Every obstacle where I could see myself on the other side before it happened, where I believed with my heart that I could achieve success to get to the other side, where I was living as that future person,  those are the times I made to the other side.

I laid out the strategies to overcome the obstacle and I followed through with completing those strategies and coming up with new plans if I hit failure.

Read that again.

When I hit failure, I re-assessed, came up with a different plan, and kept moving forward.

Because I believed.

People who believe don’t give up.

People who believe look at the facts and come up with another route.

This my friends are what I want to leave you with.

Achieving success means that you will fall down and need to pick yourself up. Possibly start over, but with a whole new set of tools and beliefs.

So I want to ask you:

Are you comfortable living with your old results?

Would you be more comfortable living with the results of your dreams?

Me too.

We have two options:

Live in the comfort of your past life or live in the discomfort of getting to your new life.

If you do the latter then you will continue to evolve your comfort into something greater than your past comfort.

Doing what you’ve always done is fine for some people, totally cool, but if you’re wishing for something different, then you have to go make it happen.

Hello, discomfort. I love getting comfortable with getting uncomfortable.

Last question I have for you:

What would your future self, the one who has already overcome that next obstacle, say to you while you stand in front of that barrier?

I love learning how to live today as though I’ve already achieved my next impossible goal.

I love talking to my future self and asking her what she would do.

I love it when she points out my old thinking and reminds me that I’ll never become her unless I believe hard in something bigger than defeat.

If you are struggling to achieve your next dream or maybe you don’t even know what that dream is. Maybe you’re just being comfortable doing the same old, same old, but you know when you talk the honest talk with yourself that you want more for your life.

If that’s you then I’d love to have a conversation with you to determine whether you want to work with me to help you figure this out. I’d love to help you unlock the door to your future, that door that you maybe even haven’t found yet.

When you find the belief that you can do this then send me an email (button below) before your belief runs to the corner and hides. Like it always does.

This time is going to be different!

P.S. This, by the way, is what I do for you. I help you assess what is happening for you, what struggles you are bumping up against. Kind of like opening up your brain and showing it to you. It is the best thing ever, in my humble opinion!

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I am a life coach who works with individuals looking to change their current or future romantic relationship – my program helps them discover that they are enough. This self-love empowers and equips them to take continual, forward steps in achieving the healthy, romantic relationship they desire. Are you ready to explore this journey in your life? Schedule your program inquiry call today and let’s decide together if this is your next step to creating the life you’ve been dreaming of.

Why Rewriting Your Past Will Light Up Your Future

Why Rewriting Your Past Will Light Up Your Future | Relationship Coach

We all have our stories to tell.

Most of our stories are about our past.

Childhood • middle age • teenage • young adult • adult • first marriage • last boyfriend • first job • this job • last year • last week • yesterday • this morning.

We’re not telling stories of the abundance we will be creating in the future.

Most of our stories are about what went wrong in our past lives.

Our brains are always on the search for what is wrong, it’s always wanting to protect us, keep us from danger. That’s it’s a job.

This is great for when we might be in some sort of danger, which is rare in our modern world, but it’s not great when it pertains to our past.

For many of us, our past life story is full of regret, resentment, and blame. We are completely unaware of how damaging this is to our future life story.

For many of us, our past life story is full of beauty, uniqueness, perfection.

We aren’t seeing it.

For me this was very much the case, I spent most of my time really thinking backward. I was often dwelling on what happened yesterday and though, while I was also looking forward I was looking back to determine how to move forward.

Yes, I was living a life of abundance, goodness, beautiful richness yet I wasn’t actually living it.

I was using my past to determine how to create my future.

If we are only seeing what went wrong in our past it won’t allow us to truly see the full potential of what is available in our future.

Each and every time we tell that story of how we were taken advantage of, of how we were wronged, of how we made poor choices, it reinforces that neurological pathway of negativity, of failure. Every time we relive the hurt it keeps us living in that pool of negative emotion, dragging us down, deepening the pain.

The opposite of what we want happens. We desperately want the story to change but by reliving it we just keep bringing it closer, allowing it to continue to beat us up. Allowing it to continue to tell us how unworthy we truly are.

Let me tell you something that is going to change your life forever if you choose to believe it.

You can change your story. Forever.

Your past is behind you and it happened perfectly.

I know this because it happened.

You could attempt to just forget your past life story but I want to warn you to be very careful if you choose to take this route. Be very careful that you are allowing the story to just be and not trying to burying it, resist it, only for it to re-surface with a mean, ugly vengeance.

This is what I had tried to do. I used all sorts of buffering activities to do this. Do you know what happened? I just hurt myself more and my story just kept coming back.

Do you know why the story kept coming back? Because I kept bringing it back. Truth is that every time I brought the past into my present by telling the story, it hurt more than the original story. Some of my stories I remember not even hurting me at the time. Stories where I didn’t truly realize what was happening, too young to even understand. It’s when I retold the story, from a place of judgment, that the story truly started to hurt.

The best thing I’ve done, and the best thing you can do for yourself, is to re-write the story so that it makes you the hero.

What amazing things have happened because you survived powerfully through that story?

What amazing things have you accomplished because you won in that story?

How has that story made you better equipped to handle your current life story?

How can you look at the people in your story from their lens, from their hurts, from their past life story?

When we’re able to re-write our past as the hero, not the victim, it allows us to set it free.

When we’re able to see how perfectly our past truly was, what opportunities it brings us, we are able to see ourselves as who we were perfectly created to be and perfectly shaped to be.

Today we get to step into the future of opportunity, not a future held back by the weight of our past.

When we see how much our past has molded us into a beautiful instrument of intricacies with the potential to create an impact beyond our dreams.

That’s when life begins brand new.

If you’re living a life of regret and resentment, unable to set it free. If you find yourself unable to let go of the power someone from your past is having in your life today then I want you to know that there is hope. You can rewrite your past. Your story is beautiful, tell it the way that will move you into the life you were perfectly designed to live.

You can’t build your legacy while holding on tight to your past life story.

My mission is to show you how to become the hero of your story. Let’s start the editing today, and if you’re ready I wrote this post to help you get started and if you want to learn how crucial it is to do this work in order to create the love relationship you desire then please check this article out.

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I am a life coach who works with individuals looking to change their current or future romantic relationship – my program helps them discover that they are enough. This self-love empowers and equips them to take continual, forward steps in achieving the healthy, romantic relationship they desire. Are you ready to explore this journey in your life? Schedule your program inquiry call today and let’s decide together if this is your next step to creating the life you’ve been dreaming of.

Steps To Walk Through Your Depression

I’m going to start this off stating that depression is a serious thing. The “tackling depression” tactics that I am going to talk about today can be applied to any type of depression, yet there are individual cases where depression is truly dark. 


I’m talking dark, as in no light. 


You yourself will want to take the steps to be able to recognize what your depression looks like for you. You may want to seek the guidance of a medical professional who can help you sort through a possible need for a medication program to help you sort through your journey. 


Yet, even if your journey is truly that dark, I want you to know that there absolutely is hope. There is beautiful light on the other side of the valley you are currently walking through. 


I promise this. 


Just waiting for it to end could be a way of processing but seeking guidance out of love and compassion for yourself is the shortest path through to the other side. 

It is the most beautiful path as well.


When we work through whatever is bringing us down we always discover something new about ourselves.

When we just wait for it to pass, just keep trudging on, in my experience, there isn’t much discovery in the process.

This week has been one of those weeks for me. 


It actually feels foreign. 


This thought alone gives me relief. Depression was a way of life for me in the past, I used to drag it around like a heavy sled. I know, who knew, I truly was the masquerade master.

Experiencing it now is actually opening up for me the reality that I have cut loose so many ties to that sled. 


My norm now is freedom, so thank you depression for opening up my eyes to this truth.


How I am handling the depression is also different. Let me share how.

Become curious about what is happening for you.

For me the art of being curious about why this is actually occurring in my body is an interesting process. The old me would have ignored it, pushed it into the corner and put something fancy and falsely beautiful in front of it, hello facade. 


This week I have been holding it in my hands, being kind and compassionate towards it, allowing it to express itself yet not prohibit me from moving forward with my days. 

This in of itself feels so much better. More expansive. Less tight and uncomfortable. The knowledge not that I never will experience depression again, but that I now have the tools to process it. To use it as information for what is happening for me in the moment.

Use The Model to help you see what is happening for you.

This tool helps you with the awareness I shared above. It helps you to see what might be happening for you. It helps you to sort through the messiness your brain is presenting to you. It helps you to see some truth and allow you to move forward while accepting that this is a part of your current journey.

The model is also a tool that will help you see the result you are getting with whatever thoughts your brain is giving to you, this then gives you the option of choosing a different thought. A different thought will get you a different result.

Listen up.

This is not about faking it by ignoring what is happening for you. This is about choosing thoughts that will work for you.

Let me share an example by sharing a bit of my thought downloads from the week.

“This stinks. My life is miserable. I don’t have time for this. I can’t do this. I’ll never get this done. I should just give this up. I should just stay in bed. Maybe I’ll just take the day off. I am strong. I can handle anything. This is perfect. This is happening. This won’t beat me. Hello brain, I see what you’re doing. This is happening and I don’t like it. Maybe I need more caffeine. I should go take a nap. Of course this is happening.”

If I were to stay with the thought that “I can’t do this” it would make me feel defeated causing me to complain, ruminate, feel sorry for myself, beat myself up, etc, creating a result of not getting anything done. Perfect evidence for the thought “I can’t do this.”

Instead I chose the thought “I can handle anything”, this makes me feel strong, this propels me forward to do my tasks and honor my commitments, to hold my funk in a place of compassion and curiosity but not let it control me, love myself and share my journey instead of hide or fake it, be curious about what is happening, the result I get from this new thought is I completely handle my commitments and my funk.

Lastly.

Share your journey with a friend.

Sharing it helps to heal it. Sometimes a friend doesn’t feel right and sometimes it just might be wrong. That’s where I come in. I’m the friend that cares and does more than just listen and then give you unsolicited advice. I listen. I show you your brain. I show you how to hold it in a place of compassion. I show you how to allow the discomfort without allowing it to consume you.

I help you walk through until you’re ready to set it free.

This my friends is beautiful.

This my friends is not faking it.

This allows you to travel through your experiences, negative and positive, from a place of curiosity, learning and growing along the way.

Friend, if you are in a dark season and want to know more about how to move through it from a place of compassion for yourself, I’d love to walk through with you. This doesn’t need to be an awful experience. Use it to grow, learn and love yourself.

I’m over here waiting for you.

My mission is you. Helping you become your true you. Let’s go!

I’m just an email away.

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My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.

I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.

Please share this message with anyone who you think might benefit from hearing this message and I highly encourage you to get on my mailing list where I send out weekly tips on how to start building love and confidence within yourself.