I’m going to start this out with complete honesty.

The very BEST way to resolve goal failure is to hire a coach who guides you into changing how you think, not an action based coach.

Without deviating too much off of the topic, an action based coach is a coach that tells you what actions you need to take to move forward. This might work for a while but in the long run, you have to have the right mindset to continue the process. Once you leave that coach and haven’t worked on the root of why you’re not doing what you want to do, then you haven’t changed your brain.

Which means you will go right back to your old way of thinking.

Working with a life coach that works with changing the way you think about things, a coach that teaches you why those thoughts have you showing up the way you do, is life changing.

You will not only start achieving your set goals, you will also start re-wiring how your brain thinks, which means you start changing who you are.

It allows you to fully design the life of your dreams, the life you were created to live.

BUT, until then I want to share some steps for you to start stepping closer to the goals you want to achieve in this life.

Choose only ONE goal to focus on.

Most of you are going to argue with this step.

I argued with this step until I decided to stick absolutely to what my coach was teaching me.

One goal at a time I have moved further ahead in one year than ever, easily quadrupled any goals achieved in any year before this in my life. When I look back at goals in previous years they are very “fuzzy” meaning I never really had a specific goal, goal attainment date or process, I just relied on luck basically and, at a snails pace, maybe improved on a few of them.

Mostly I just gave up, went on with day to day living and just accepted mediocre as the norm.

Put all your energy into on goal, conquer it, move on to the next.

PLAN!

An unplanned goal is a failed goal.

Just like I said in the first step, when you’re not specific about what you want and don’t dial down a plan to learn when you fail, then you really are just failing ahead of time.

Manage your mind.

What happens when the excitement wears off? When the appeal of a new magical program wears off?

You have to manage your mind.

You have to know that your brain is going to tell you this is a bad idea, I mean look at all the evidence you’ve produced that this isn’t going to work.

This is how our brain works.

It wants you to stay in the comfort zone, it wants you to stay comfortable, it recognizes the discomfort of having to push through even when you don’t feel like it as danger.

We are no longer in danger my friends.

Feel the discomfort, re-wire your brain by allowing the discomfort and doing it anyway.

This is where the thought model comes in. Super helpful, go give it a shot.

Periodically evaluate your progress.

Evaluation is what allows us to stay in the game.

We can look at what has been working really well, write it down. Learn from it.

We can look at what hasn’t been working, write it down. Learn from it.

Then we can look at what we might do differently to achieve greater success and keep moving forward. Write it down, stick it on your mirror and learn how to keep moving forward.

This process is going to keep you learning new and exciting ways to succeed with what is important in your life.

I’d love to help show you how this process is different from anything you’ve ever tried and have you experience first hand how life can be so much different than you ever imagined. I can’t wait!

We all do it.

The good news is that we have the power to change history for ourselves.

What we do after we let ourselves down determines whether we use the experience to move us forward or get us even more stuck in old patterning.

As we break the old patterning we will be able to see ourselves WANTING to fall back to old patterning by seeing ourselves WANTING to let ourselves down. As we break this patterning though and start to feel the incredible feeling of NOT letting ourselves down we are able to stop ourselves before we seek immediate pleasure at our own expense.

I’m curious, what is your favorite way to let yourself down?

• Over: eat – drink – spend – sleep, under sleep
• Don’t complete goals, possibly never even start them, just think about some day….
• Sustain an unfulfilling life
• Don’t speak up for yourself
• Don’t take time to understand what you’re feeling or what you want out of life
• Allow yourself to stay stuck in relationships that don’t seem to be working for you (this is something you have full power over, without even involving the other person)
• You don’t believe you deserve a better life
• You aren’t growing
• You self criticize
• You don’t peel off that outer facade and start designing the life you were created to live

I’d like you to pause for a moment and ask yourself why you are letting yourself down? Why are you allowing this to happen in your life?

Let me offer a few reasons why we let ourselves down:

• We want to seek immediate pleasure even though it doesn’t last and often let’s us down
• We don’t want to endure the immediate discomfort of not indulging
• We haven’t figured out how to manage our time, project/goal plan
• We’ve created a patterning of not trusting ourselves
• We lack the self confidence to do the things we are afraid of doing
• We are people pleasing instead of self pleasing
• Our relationship with ourself is weak
• Habit: we’ve developed brain patterning that keeps us doing what it is we’ve always done, even when it hurts us in the long run, we don’t know how to change

While I have been thinking about this whole phenomenon of letting ourselves down I started to notice how we act when we let ourselves down:

• make excuses
• beat ourselves up
• ignore, pretend it didn’t happen, avoid
• learn from the experience

This last option is the option I want to help you to start choosing. This is going to be the option that will allow you to grow, move forward and start changing years of patterning. The other choices, well, they just keep you stuck and actually, falling deeper into the patterning you’ve created for yourself.

Here are my four suggestions to get you started in moving you forward and starting the process of standing up for yourself:

Awareness

Start paying attention to what you’re thinking and how it’s making you feel.

Start being on to yourself and noticing when you do let yourself down. It’s all going to start by looking back at when you do let yourself down. Notice it first, then when you start noticing you can write down some things: what were you thinking before you let yourself down, how did those thoughts feel, that feeling is what drove you to the action of letting yourself down, doing what it is you didn’t want to do resulting in you letting yourself down.

Once you start breaking it down after the fact you will notice that your brain will start becoming aware before you let yourself down, your conditioning will still have you doing what you’ve always done, that’s ok, repeat the writing process above.

Eventually you will start catching on to yourself.

This is when you can start questioning what you’re doing before you even do it. You can dig into why you’re doing what you’re doing, it’s always because of a feeling that comes from a thought. Here is when you can start actually noticing what happens when you resist that emotion, which is what we’ve been trained to do in our past, hence why most diets and goals end up failing. Resistance leads to giving in, and usually giving in HARD. This is where you will want to learn how to allow the emotion, how to sit there and be uncomfortable with the urge to let yourself down.

This is where you learn how to stop reacting to emotions by becoming aware of them and just watching them pass by.

Create a goal

Yes, one goal, but this is just the start. Many of us think up some pretty amazing goals, yet we have no idea how to plan and create success with those goals, we’re over ambitious and plan a long list of goals all at one time, a perfect set up for failure.

It starts with picking one goal and then creating an obstacle list. What are all of the things you’re going to run into that will keep you from reaching that goal. Write them down.

Then you will come up with a list of strategies for your obstacles, you will schedule all of these strategies on your calendar. If the strategy is lengthy then break it down into bite size chunks.

Lastly, you will need to go back up to the awareness section because every time one of those strategies comes up on your calendar, guess what?

You’e going to want to let yourself down.

Ask great questions

Your brain will search for answers to the questions you ask it, so ask questions that move you forward, not questions that keep you stuck.

Poor questions:

• Why am I such a failure?
• Why can’t I do what I say I’m going to do?
• Why am I so weak?

Instead ask great questions:

• In what ways am I strong and powerful?
• How can I succeed at this next task?
• How can I start doing what I say I’m going to do?

Start practicing these new thoughts

Once you start asking good questions you’re going to have some good thoughts to think. Start practicing these thoughts, but make sure they are believable because practicing thoughts that you don’t believe won’t get you anywhere except right back to letting yourself down.

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My Awaken(YourTrue)You program teaches incredibly powerful women like yourself how to identify and live out your truth. How to believe in your success and boldly share it with the world. How to leave a legacy.

I offer a free call to anyone brave enough to take the steps of creating the life they were meant to live. It’s a call for you to decide if this work is for you or not. I believe it is.

Share this message with a friend who needs to hear it, for every woman willing to do the work of becoming her best self there will be thousands of others impacted by her journey.

This is my life, join me in my mission to save the world, one powerful woman at a time.

This year has been interesting for me.

As I launch this new business of mine I’m not paying myself a salary for the first year, I’m investing everything back into the business.

You know what that means? No money to spend. You know what that means? I get to watch what happens in my brain when I want to seek pleasure through a retail purchase.

That’s fun.

It’s also been an interesting, liberating experience.

I have been watching my mind around wanting to seek pleasure through some sort of purchase. A purchase that will leave me empty and left with my original emotion that put me in that search. A purchase that leaves me with yet another “object” in my possession that I really, truly do not need.

When we seek pleasure from outside of ourselves it’s always a fleeting experience, it leaves you empty, joyless.

When you learn how to create joy and love from within, that is when your purpose and fulfillment can be found.

This mind work I have also done around overeating and over drinking.

First, let me explain what I mean by “overeating” and “over drinking”. What I mean by these two terms may not be what you are envisioning, it basically means eating or drinking when I don’t want, or need, to. It might even be eating a carrot when I really don’t need one. This example may seem a bit odd but we’ll keep moving forward. You see I used to drink, often when I said I wouldn’t, to make myself feel better. Then when I would drink I would get mad at myself for drinking because I had told myself I wasn’t going to.

I also used to eat food to feel better, until of course, after eating the food and feeling something like regret.

I no longer drink for pleasure, actually, I hardly ever drink unless I plan it ahead of time.

I also very seldom eat for pleasure and when I do I break it down and look at why I did so I can learn moving forward.

When you start doing the work of eliminating pleasure at your own expense, you actually have to start feeling, and dealing with, your emotions.

Pleasure is something we are wired to seek, yet in today’s society pleasure is a drug. We avoid negative emotion through a pleasurable activity that allows us to escape temporarily, but leaves us empty and often full of regret.

So we seek it some more.

When you have no money to spend, what is left is your emotions. When you don’t overeat or drink you don’t use those temporary pleasures to deal with whatever is coming up for you.

You’re just left with yourself and the emotion.

Without the activities that allow us to avoid our feeling, we’re left with our brain to figure out what is going on for us and how we want to process it, like an adult.

We then have a choice.

Will we stay stuck in the negative emotion and feel sorry for ourselves?

It’s an option.

There is another option though. That option is to explore those emotions. To discover the root of those negative thoughts and decide what you want to do with them.

Do you want to indulge in them or do you want to start doing what it takes to change them?

It’s a choice you get to make.

Joy is always available but not when you’re seeking pleasure to solve for it.

Joy comes from inside of you.

Joy comes from making the conscious choice to change.

Joy comes from being all in on you.

Once you start finding joy from within, that’s when meaning, purpose, and fulfillment start to bloom like a beautiful rose.

That’s when you start honoring your true self.

That’s when you Awaken(YourTrue)You and start designing a life of love, joy, and purpose.

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My Awaken(YourTrue)You program teaches incredibly powerful women like yourself how to identify and live out your truth. How to believe in your success and boldly share it with the world. How to leave a legacy.

I offer a free call to anyone brave enough to take the steps of creating the life they were meant to live. It’s a call for you to decide if this work is for you or not. I believe it is.

Share this message with a friend who needs to hear it, for every woman willing to do the work of becoming her best self there will be thousands of others impacted by her journey.

This is my life, join me in my mission to save the world, one powerful woman at a time.