Our days are filled with activities that we have decided are our priorities. Like it or not, this is the truth. Whatever you choose to fill your day with are the activities you said yes to, and the things left behind are the activities you decided to say no to. Today we will talk about one twenty-minute meeting that I suggest you prioritize and schedule on both your calendar and your partner’s; that activity is the relationship huddle.
When I ask people what stops them from improving their relationship, the most common thing I hear is the most common thing I hear about ANY goal they have that isn’t really a priority: time. Time management is a topic for a future day, and I highly recommend you go back to a previous post I have written to help you get started in your time management success.
A couple of things that are true about our relationships:
- As we get comfortable in our romantic relationships, we start unintentionally reprioritizing our activities; we start incorporating “more important” activities and letting go of activities that keep us connected in our relationship.
- We start becoming less familiar with our partner, and when we attempt to connect, it seems difficult, so we put it off until some later, seemingly better, future moment.
- We start feeling awkward and uncomfortable when we have time together, not knowing what to talk about, so we add more things to our calendar, again unintentionally squeezing our relationship out even more.
- We keep avoiding our relationship until it eventually breaks, and trust that if you keep going down this path, it will break. When it breaks, you can then choose to make room on the calendar to work on mending it, or you can keep on avoiding it.
My suggestion this week is that you start scheduling this twenty-minute relationship tool in now, before you reach the breaking point.
Already reached the relationship breaking point?
That’s ok, you can still implement this twenty-minute tool I call the relationship huddle so let’s get to the implementation!
The Weekly Twenty-Minute Relationship Huddle
This twenty-minute meeting is meant to be deliberate, thorough, and brief. If you haven’t been having conversations with your romantic partner, you will want to resist the desire to unload and turn a twenty-minute plan into a 2-hour download.
KEEP A STRICT TIME SCHEDULE!
As you continue making this weekly meeting intentional and turning it into a habit, you’ll begin to notice communication channels opening up, allowing for longer conversations.
Relationship Huddle Five Step Process:
- Catch up: this is where you catch up from your last session. Discuss any conversations you haven’t wrapped up, what discussions need to be had between now and your next huddle.
- Build trust: talk about things you might have done wrong or how you could have done better, forgive or ask for forgiveness from anything left hanging, tell the other how you appreciate them.
- How are we relying on each other: here is where you can share how the other is doing in meeting your needs, what might we need in the time between now and our next session. You all know that I am all about figuring out how to meet your own needs, so you’re not relying on someone else to do that, but there are needs that we appreciate; this is the time where you can share that.
- Calendar: check-in with each other about upcoming events and how you might like support through them.
- Affection: here, you get to catch up on how you can intimately show up and support each other.
Change and growth come one step at a time.
If you like the idea of the relationship huddle but are struggling with the implementation I want to invite you to schedule a free coaching session where I will guide you through to getting started or you can register to join Ask Christine Anything my monthly public free coaching call on the first Wednesday of every month, 12 pm CST.
I am a life coach who works with individuals looking to change their current or future romantic relationship – my program helps them discover that they are enough. This self-love empowers and equips them to take continual, forward steps in achieving the healthy, romantic relationship they desire. Are you ready to explore this journey in your life? Schedule your program inquiry call today and let’s decide together if this is your next step to creating the life you’ve been dreaming of.