Let me start with the disclaimer that I too am an introvert. At some point in my life the simple explanation of an introvert being someone who gets energized when alone and an extrovert getting energized when they are with people, clicked for me. It explained something about me that I truly didn’t understand, why I always wanted to be alone, funny how when we hear something that seems to work for us we adopt it with power.
I wonder if you use this label to escape, to avoid things that seem uncomfortable, things that bring up a bit of fear.
I used to.
Then in 2017, the year I stopped training athletes, as I was exploring my next step I started reaching out to people in my large circle and connecting with them.
In 2018 I partnered with a company that was another catalyst to getting to know even more people in my circle.
You see I had this huge network of people that came with my thirty year business of training athletes, being a NPC/IFBB representative, professional athlete and sporting event promoter, yet during the first 25 years I did little outside networking. Meaning I rarely went up to people, introduced myself and asked them questions. When people came up to me I was great at listening and prompting them to talk, part of the reason my business was hugely successful, yet there was fear and discomfort around meeting new people.
I blamed this on being an introvert.
Truth: I was I didn’t have the self confidence to break through my fear, I was afraid of judgment.
During the two years, 2017-2018, of transitioning into my next endeavor I learned so much about people I knew, and people who knew me, because I reached out and asked to connect.
Getting to know others is amazing!
I hear you gagging in the background but I’m curious if you secretly want to meet more people than you admit to.
Trust me, I still LOVE my away time, my time to reflect, dig deep, come up with new amazing thoughts, talk to God but meeting new people actually kind of gets me revved up!
Honest talk here: I do still need to do thought work and train my brain when I go to networking/social events because I do tend to want to hide in the corner, but I know it doesn’t give me the result I want. I know I don’t want to leave not having met someone new and fascinating, so I plan my ice breakers and I just enjoy the discomfort. I know my discomfort puts other people at ease knowing that they too probably are feeling awkward themselves, you know me – always helping others to feel comfortable, plus I know it builds up my self confidence to do things I fear.
Here are the signs that you might want to start working on your self confidence instead of hiding behind the mask of an introvert:
You want more friends and want to be invited along but you’re an introvert so you’ll skip, especially if there will be more than two of you!
Of course, if there’s more than just you and that someone else then you are able to hide a bit more but then there is also the fact that they will ignore you. Pay attention next time, is the reason you’re “ignored” because you are the only one not contributing? Possibly you are the only one judging yourself, and maybe everyone else? Things like:
“They have so much more to contribute.”
“I don’t know anything about what they’re talking about.”
You don’t talk to people you don’t know because you’re an introvert.
I’ve even heard the opposite: he talks to everyone, he’s such an extrovert.
Actually, I love talking to other people, people I do and don’t know. It actually makes them feel good, all it takes is asking how they’re doing, talking about their job, their life – people love to share and they light up when you show interest.
These are also the best conversations because they typically don’t go very deep but that barista that makes you coffee every morning? Say hi next time, ask them how they’re doing, ask them what else they might do – it’s amazing how people open up!
You long for deeper connection with your mate but, you know, you need your quiet time.
My guess is that not only are you an introvert but you don’t know how to move forward and truly connect in your now so so relationship. Fearing being vulnerable you just shrink back into yourself and just hope for the best.
Let me give you some advice, the best will never come if you don’t start working on the why behind not wanting to invest the time into your relationship.
You want something different in your life, maybe a mate to actually connect with, but it’s so much work for an introvert.
All of these signs are not signs that you’re an introvert, they’re signs that you don’t trust yourself enough to just be you. You’re attached to the outcome.
Your self confidence is weak, possibly non-existant, so when you do go out to socialize you come home completely exhausted because you are playing the part of the people pleaser. You are not just being yourself, you are trying to fit in and make people like you, this is so much work, I did this most of my life, no wonder I hid behind the introvert mask.
Now I am proud to be an introvert who loves meeting other people and just being me.
When you’re all in on you it doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or an extrovert. You’ll fully enjoy your quiet time without guilt and you’ll fully enjoy your social time without exhaustion.
My Awaken(TheTrue)You program is for strong, success driven women who want to discover their true self, discover the missing key, find their purpose and then start building a legacy from pure power. I have made it may mission to show you how.
I’d love to offer a free call for you to work out whether or not my program and life changing promise is a fit for you. Either book your call now or send me an email with your availability before your subconscious primitive mind tells you to run and hide.
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